A Mans Bar Habits With A Filipina Wife

[ekimswish]

My Filipina wife is never excited about me going out with friends, but I can usually get away with it once a week or two. If I'm just going for a quick drink with a friend, I'll often take one of our kids, which acts like an alarm clock. When the kid gets restless, it's time to head home. Other times, if I go out all night, I just have to promise to buy her something - that always works.

There was one time, however, when my Korean boxing coaches took me to a karaoke room and they all ordered girls to hang out with us. I told them I didn't want one - knew my wife would smell the cheap perfume when i went home - and most of them were cool with it. There was one guy though, who kept harassing me with his girl, getting her to try and get fresh with me. I was in the middle of a song, holding the microphone with my elbow out, and deliberately turned so that my elbow gave her a "soft" little tap on the face. It sent the message, and they stopped bugging me. I told my wife the story when I got home and she wanted to murder that girl. It calmed her down knowing that I had already sent her my wife's love.

[ekimswish]

To add to my post above:

1. I think my wife would be a lot less secure with me going to a bar in the Philippines than in Korea or another country. Obviously that has to do with the fact that girls in the Philippines are likely to hunt the foreigner, whereas in other countries it would be up to me to be desperate enough to start hitting on girls, 80% of which wouldn't be interested, anyways. Case in point, thought not exactly, I went surfing a few different times out of town, and was limited to less than 24 hours before having to return, due to her nagging and insecurity on the phone.

2. It makes a difference where you live, as if I were to even think of cheating in our small Leyte town, she'd hear about it before I did. Living in a big city would be a lot different. She would definitely be paranoid about me going out in a place like Manila or Cebu. For example, though not exactly, I was stopped from traveling to the Philippines last month for having a day less than six months on my passport. I ran out of phone card and couldn't explain more than a few words over the phone. The next day, she had been imagining I was really in Manila enjoying the bar scene, instead of hanging out with her and our beautiful daughters back home.

The paranoia runs deep.

[i am bob]

Sometimes I guess our "special someone"s just love us too much to understand that we feel the same way... We can only try to help them overcome their insecurities as best we can and as gently as we can...

[Talisay]

I go out regularly to expat bars mostly afternoons!

I often say to my wife why don't you come along, she replies I'd just be bored!

If I'm sometimes late and apologize she says don't apologize if your enjoyig yourself!

She likes to go out with her girl friends sometimes for a movie or food or playing Tongits.

I would go nuts if I didnt have a chat with fellow expats about football etc.

My wife trusts me and thats probably enhanced by the fact that my driver is her nephew, so she knows i'm not fooling around!

[Ruddy_Rooster]

A reply on page 1 summed things up for me, something along the lines of 'you need to walk in your wife's shoes'.

Somewhere in between dating your GF and living happily ever after as man & wife there will be many changes, some expected and some unforeseen. There's too many variables to give any right or wrong answer to such a vague question. How important is your night out in the grand scheme of things?.

It's not just 'trust' issues here, marriage goes a lot deeper.

[Methersgate]

Interesting thread!

I would like to note in passing that "a night out with the lads" is something that Filipino men go in for just as much as Europeans or Americans do, if not indeed more so.

 

I suspect my partner may be a non-standard model. A couple of years ago we had a bunch of parents from the little boy's school round for supper and conversation got round to "trusting each other". K (my partner) said  to the men present ,"I'm perfectly happy for you to take him to that bar that you all go to!" (this was "in province" - she meant the local "KTV-Disco" joint).

Several of the men present thought this was a fine idea, so a trip was arranged, but I insisted on K coming too. Which she did, bringing another mother with her. She entered into the spirit of the thing, sticking fifty peso bills into garter belts, "tabling" dancers and telling them outrageous lies, and in doing so qualified as "one of the lads". This had the effect of making me realise that my favourite drinking buddy, in a non-girly environment, is in fact my partner, and I honestly don't like going out without her,even when going to a sports bar to watch the rugger.

[MacBubba]

This had the effect of making me realise that my favourite drinking buddy, in a non-girly environment, is in fact my partner, and I honestly don't like going out without her,even when going to a sports bar to watch the rugger.

 

Likewise.  My wife is my favourite drinking buddy, beyond question.  If I had just met her earlier, I might have been spared a couple of tattoos!

[bows00]

On ‎4‎/‎13‎/‎2012 at 6:31 PM, FlyAway said:

Everytime we go to Philippines for vacation I get to visit Angeles for a few days. I meet up with some expats I know there and like to see different changes over the years. And it always reminds me why I do not want to live there.

Now I do not take this as a liberty to go around and pick up women just to make this clear to all.

Wow!  Angeles City??!  Man, you have a very trusting wife sir...

[MikeSwede]

Old thread, but funny comment.

I am let to roam free too in the city of Angels. It is just that shopping on my own just is not the same fun.

And after dark, I am off the streets, not enough excitement it that venue no more.

[Kuya John]

Having just notice the original Posting date for this Thread, I take it you survived your nights out with the boys then Bows00.

"Respect is earned

Honesty is appreciated

Trust is gained

Loyalty is returned"

 

Edited May 11, 2016 by Kuya John
Quotation added