Supporting the Family

[Okieboy]

getting married does not obligate you to support her family, get this straight right off, i do not support my wifes family ,i help with some little things, anything other than that they are on their own, unless you live the life style of a westerner $1500 will be fine, If your girl has trouble with that get an other, Note from Bossman I decided this was a good topic on its own so I have split it for comments or debate. :541:

Edited November 27, 2011 by Bossman
split topic

[Jollygoodfellow]

getting married does not obligate you to support her family, get this straight right off, i do not support my wifes family ,i help with some little things, anything other than that they are on their own, unless you live the life style of a westerner $1500 will be fine, If your girl has trouble with that get an other,

My wife's family has never gained or asked anything of me except a few weeks ago when her father who is in need of an eye operation became the first request.I considered this but thought that since my wife has brothers and sisters either working or married to someone working then my stance on the matter was that they can come up with half and I will pay the other half.I dont want to start a trend but at the same time I don't want her father to go blind either.Maybe it sounds bad of me but I dont have any spare money myself and battle from week to week so its a balancing act for me as well and I am sure it is for her family as well so between us I hope the problem will be solved.

[Norseman]

The thing to remember also is there is no common sense when it comes to money. The family a normally does not know how to budget the money. Additionally they will spend the money on things that really make no sense. So when you send money be prepared as they will have spent that on things that you would not have.

[Old55]

While courting a Filipina baby's, religion family and finances should be clearly agreed on. Remeber you are courting the family too so family members must clearly understand and accept whatever finical agreement you come too.

[Art2ro]

getting married does not obligate you to support her family, get this straight right off, i do not support my wifes family ,i help with some little things, anything other than that they are on their own, unless you live the life style of a westerner $1500 will be fine, If your girl has trouble with that get an other,

My wife's family has never gained or asked anything of me except a few weeks ago when her father who is in need of an eye operation became the first request.I considered this but thought that since my wife has brothers and sisters either working or married to someone working then my stance on the matter was that they can come up with half and I will pay the other half.I dont want to start a trend but at the same time I don't want her father to go blind either.Maybe it sounds bad of me but I dont have any spare money myself and battle from week to week so its a balancing act for me as well and I am sure it is for her family as well so between us I hope the problem will be solved.

Now you get what I mean eh! "It's always a matter of money"!

[ekimswish]

The only problem I have with supporting people for specific things is making sure the money goes to those things specifically. Too often you hear stories (or experience them) where money sent for one thing is used for another. My wife used to send money back from Korea for her daughter's asthma only to find out her ex's mother had spent the money things other than an inhaler. Although she sent money home for her kids, her kids never had new clothes or much for food. They were treated like servants, and her money was used for majong and other things. When she stopped sending money "for her kids," the children's uncles had to suddenly drop out of college. I suspect their father couldn't go to the videoke as much either. I refrained from my helping my sister-in-law two years in a row with car accidents in Palau because I had no money to spare, AND, I rightly suspected that she just wanted the money for her girlfriend's visa to work abroad. I have, recently, spent money on my father-in-law's medical expenses with water in his lungs, and my mother-in-law's something else kind of problem. I also help pay for my uncle-in-law's diabetes medicine, but he has lent us land for various things.

Edited November 27, 2011 by ekimswish

[Papa Carl]

To each their own! I guess it depends on you, your partner and your ability to help, along with your willingness. For me, if I can, and I am in control of how the money is spent, then I do. Having said this, I do believe that it is a cultural thing here in the Philippines that for the most part Filipinos in general do expect every member of the family to support each other, whether you are a Filipino or a Foreigner..... and is that such a bad thing? Just my thoughts Papa Carl

[Old55]

Timely topic.The past 14 years my wife has been a bulldog to do with anyone taking advantage of us financially. Last night one of our sisters called saying "they" needed 20K peso for an upcoming family reunion to be held on the next island. Needless to say that's never going to push through. :) Those Leyte distant family figured the rich Kano would pick-up the majority of the tab. :540: My wife and I are lucky our immediate Filipino family are great to do with money.

[Garpo]

To each their own! I guess it depends on you, your partner and your ability to help, along with your willingness. For me, if I can, and I am in control of how the money is spent, then I do. Having said this, I do believe that it is a cultural thing here in the Philippines that for the most part Filipinos in general do expect every member of the family to support each other, whether you are a Filipino or a Foreigner..... and is that such a bad thing? Just my thoughts Papa Carl

Not a bad thing at all but it should go both ways. I have never had anybody from my wifes family ever offer to help out with anything that did not end up costing me money.

[Art2ro]

My Wife's brother and sister are both in the U.S. and have jobs, I loaned them some money on the stipulation that they pay me back! Guess what? It has been over a year now and they still haven't paid me back! I recently sent them both an email with my bank account and sternly told them to pay me back ASAP! Now, I just have to wait and see! I don't give out free money anymore when they have jobs!