I Would Not Normally Send Money But....

[Adventurer]

I met a girl about a month ago online. We have just been casually interacting via online and I have texted and called her but she never replies back as she cant; afford to. She will get online about once every 4 days and chat to me. She has told me that she has no family as her remaining parent passed away recently and lives with her only other family member.I'm pretty experienced with the Philippines having been there 3 times now and lived for over a year but of course I'm still learning too. I'm not foolish to send any money to a girl normally but this girl does genuinely seem to be struggling although she has never once complained, moaned about her situation or asked me for money or anything whatsoever.So far she looked to be exactly what I'm looking for in a girl but when I arrive there soon I will find out. I'm tempted to offer her some money so she can also text me occasionally until i get there and maybe buy anything important she needs since she only lost her parent recently.Now some would be thinking a scammer or whatever but she does not give me anything to think she is, just a cute, shy, young nice very pretty girl. She is not a player but is shy, does not say much and I have to do all the talking. She has signaled that she is interested in me but is not over easy etc.I could not offer her anything and I'm sure it would not make a difference but I would hate to realize later when I do know her more that she was in bad shape at this time when i could have helped her a little by maybe just sending her $100. It would not break my bank, the worst I could be doing is helping a scammer but if they are that good then so be it. It's not like I can ask her to prove her parent died etc, what would be a good way to get a little more proof so I'm 100% sure although I nearly feel that now? Would you guys want to help her if in my situation?

[Jake]

I met a girl about a month ago online. We have just been casually interacting via online and I have texted and called her but she never replies back as she cant; afford to. She will get online about once every 4 days and chat to me. She has told me that she has no family as her remaining parent passed away recently and lives with her only other family member.I'm pretty experienced with the Philippines having been there 3 times now and lived for over a year but of course I'm still learning too. I'm not foolish to send any money to a girl normally but this girl does genuinely seem to be struggling although she has never once complained, moaned about her situation or asked me for money or anything whatsoever.So far she looked to be exactly what I'm looking for in a girl but when I arrive there soon I will find out. I'm tempted to offer her some money so she can also text me occasionally until i get there and maybe buy anything important she needs since she only lost her parent recently.Now some would be thinking a scammer or whatever but she does not give me anything to think she is, just a cute, shy, young nice very pretty girl. She is not a player but is shy, does not say much and I have to do all the talking. She has signaled that she is interested in me but is not over easy etc.I could not offer her anything and I'm sure it would not make a difference but I would hate to realize later when I do know her more that she was in bad shape at this time when i could have helped her a little by maybe just sending her $100. It would not break my bank, the worst I could be doing is helping a scammer but if they are that good then so be it. It's not like I can ask her to prove her parent died etc, what would be a good way to get a little more proof so I'm 100% sure although I nearly feel that now? Would you guys want to help her if in my situation?

Hello Adventurer,As your name implies, go for it! What's a 100 bucks anyway -- a night out with the boys? Frankly, your donationcould go either way, 50-50. But it could also mean a once in a lifetime opportunity that fell between your fingersand she is gone forever.Welcome aboard sir -- Jake

[i am bob]

I agree with Jake - go for it! You aren't throwing away a lot of money if she is cheating you and it's a cheap way to find out what life would be like later - as in if she is worth marrying or is she scamming you over the $100. If she's not, it sounds to me you've got a keeper! At least until further contact is made that is!I myself am in a similar situation. I met several (actually more than several) ladies online who I thought looked like they could be somebody worth knowing and possibly dating or more once I move this coming September. Wouldn't you know it? Not one was what I was looking for! But in the meantime I had started emailing one young girl who is (Canadian morals here) way too young to look at romantically but would be a good friend as a pen pal only. Yeah, like things are that simple! Things have progressed to the point where we will be getting together once I am there. Now she was the same as your friend - especially never asking for money! I even offered a couple times when she was really broke but she always turned me down. So I did a sneaky thing recently... Over a couple months I finagled all the info needed to send some cash to her and just sent it. Not much but enough for what I thought would help her for a bit and also to find out how she would react. You should have seen the email I got in return! Big smiles! Little did I know that she couldn't afford her text books this term and was trying to get work to pay for them. Done! She only had the 1 decent set of clothes for school and now she can get a second....done! Boardinghouse paid for the next 3 months... done! I didn't know she was struggling to find the cash for these things until she told me AFTER receiving the money!So for all you guys out there who say don't do anything until you get boots down, sometimes, and in the right situation, it's not a bad idea to test that particular water and see how things go...! Adventurer, go for it! What have you got to lose? The only thing I can see you loosing is maybe the answer you are looking for...

[OnMyWay]

I met a girl about a month ago online. We have just been casually interacting via online and I have texted and called her but she never replies back as she cant; afford to. She will get online about once every 4 days and chat to me. She has told me that she has no family as her remaining parent passed away recently and lives with her only other family member.I'm pretty experienced with the Philippines having been there 3 times now and lived for over a year but of course I'm still learning too. I'm not foolish to send any money to a girl normally but this girl does genuinely seem to be struggling although she has never once complained, moaned about her situation or asked me for money or anything whatsoever.So far she looked to be exactly what I'm looking for in a girl but when I arrive there soon I will find out. I'm tempted to offer her some money so she can also text me occasionally until i get there and maybe buy anything important she needs since she only lost her parent recently.Now some would be thinking a scammer or whatever but she does not give me anything to think she is, just a cute, shy, young nice very pretty girl. She is not a player but is shy, does not say much and I have to do all the talking. She has signaled that she is interested in me but is not over easy etc.I could not offer her anything and I'm sure it would not make a difference but I would hate to realize later when I do know her more that she was in bad shape at this time when i could have helped her a little by maybe just sending her $100. It would not break my bank, the worst I could be doing is helping a scammer but if they are that good then so be it. It's not like I can ask her to prove her parent died etc, what would be a good way to get a little more proof so I'm 100% sure although I nearly feel that now? Would you guys want to help her if in my situation?

Human nature is to help. You best bet is to get over there and meet her ASAP!Remember that if she really needs the money, she may not be spending it on text messages. That is fairly low on the basic needs list!

[sjp52]

If you are going soon I would wait and then slurge on her. She has been poor her whole life a few weeks more won,t hurt, But its your money and if it makes you feel good than by all means do it. Common sense says to wait but our hearts don,t operate by common sense

Edited January 29, 2012 by sjp52

[Art2ro]

Sure! Why not! What's a $100 to a POOREIGNER who's foot loose, fancy free and smitten! :bash:http://www.thefreedi...ary.com/smittenThesaurus

Adj.

1.

smitten

- (used in combination) affected by something overwhelming; "conscience-smitten"; "awe-struck"

struck

,

stricken

,

affected

- acted upon; influenced

2.

smitten

- marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness; "gaga over the rock group's new album"; "he was infatuated with her"

enamored

,

in love

,

infatuated

,

potty

,

soft on

,

taken with

adjective

1.

infatuated

,

charmed

,

captivated

,

beguiled

,

bewitched

,

bowled over

(informal)

,

enamoured

, swept off your feet

They were totally smitten with each other.

2.

afflicted

,

struck

,

beset

,

laid low

,

plagued

smitten with yellow fever

Edited January 29, 2012 by Art2ro

[MikeB]

You lived here over a year so you know the situation. What advice would you give to someone sending money to someone they have never met?

[Dave Hounddriver]

In a similar situation, years ago, I did it. It was the wrong thing to do. She learned that chatting on the Internet would earn her money. The first one to send her money is the one to teach her that. Where does it go from there? Now that part changes with each individual.

[Adventurer]

thanks for the replies everyone and it is good to see mixed feedback. I know I would probably say wait as well if it was me replying here to someone else writing this but each story is different. The only issue I really have with it is that I could be getting our relationship going in the wrong direction at the start and she could then see me as a money tree etc. I won't be there for about 1 month. I would have to explain clearly that I would be only giving her money as it is to help her and not to say "I'm rich and I have plenty of money" (which I'm not anyway).How bad is her situation? Well I know it must be very hard for her to lose her parent only a month ago. I have to also consider that she could be in a desperate situation and if she was to meet another foreigner online that was a lot more generous (and inexperienced) then it might be enticing for her to forget me....Yes she is someone that I could marry just from knowing a little about her so far and how attracted I'm too her. I have had several girlfriends there and had met over 30 - 40 girls online before I found her so she is really someone special to me.I will probably send her some money but it was good to discuss it a little thanks .....

[Dave Hounddriver]

I just saw the part where you are going to be seeing her in a month. OK, that changes my opinion. Go for it. Its groundwork on building a relationship. It shows you are willing to commit something, (money), and you are asking her to commit something, (time). Sending a little bit of money in exchange for her waiting for one month to see you is a fair deal, to me at least.