Art2ro Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) I mentioned this because looking back, it happened to me 24 years ago when I was in the Philippines courting my girlfriend and my wife now of 24 years! You have to consider all of your options as to make a good impression on her family and relatives! Same thing happened on our wedding day, of course one has to foot the bill for all of the expenses of one's wedding and again to make a good impression that their daughter is getting married to a foreigner that can take good care of her! If not, your weeding plans will be put on hold! But if your girlfriend is not that type or kind of woman, it's all up to the both of you behind closed doors without the immediate or extended family tagging along! :boohoo: There are different types of Filipinas in the Philippines or any other country for that matter as I should not have to explain, because it's just a matter of trial and error on one's part when it comes to dating the opposite sex and or managing one's personal relationship! Edited February 3, 2012 by Art2ro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike S Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) Great post Steve ..... and my thoughts exactly ..... to show up with 1 or 2 family members or maybe a friend is exceptable IMHO but the whole Brgy. ... not ..... she is either trying to empress HER guests or she wants you to know what you can expect in the future ...... and before someone jumps in with "it's in our culture" it is not ...... a chaperone is ..... as part of many cultures .... but 5-20 free loaders is not ...... unless you agree to it before hand ........ IMHO ....... I have known of at least 10 different first time meetings (including my own) and haven't seen more than 2 extra persons show up ....... but then I have seen in the mall a foreigner walking with a young lady and a troupe of folks following them that would put the crowd at Woodstock to shame and believe me he didn't look to happy .....Some may think it is in poor taste but I would always mention in my correspondence as to how many if any I could expect in the initial meeting ........ I hate surprises ...... but then that is just me. Edited February 3, 2012 by Mike S 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adventurer Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 ....... but then I have seen in the mall a foreigner walking with a young lady and a troupe of folks following them that would put the crowd at Woodstock to shame and believe me he didn't look to happy ..... hehe, that would be a funny sight. It does remind me once with a previous girlfriend. The first few days after I met her I went to the city and stayed at her small home shared by other relatives. Every time I wanted to eat I went to the mall but I asked if anyone else was hungry to be polite so each time I wanted to eat 3 - 4 times a day I had an entourage with me, usually only 2 or 3 but the first time my girlfriend came with another 3-4 cousins. :boohoo:This girl has no family and only one sibling she lives with, I'm not sure about cousins though but she does not seem like the type that would do this as I have got to know her bit more and she is very thankful and grateful and more than I have seen with other girls in the past. I wouldn't mind f she brings a couple of friends on our first meeting but it's possible she might even come alone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garpo Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Do not underestimate the pressure and influence that this girl may be getting from her family and friends. I would suggest that you do not leave anything to maybe or chance. While she might be very much in agreement with you on many things, you might still need to give her your direct yes or no on things so that she can relay that to family requests. If the family asks for things, then you need to give her the ability to tell them no because that is what you request and demand. Otherwise she could be in trouble with her family if it looks like she is the one that is deciding to limit them or shut them out. You can bet your last dollar that somebody in the family will ask to come along and help out, when told no, they will ask why? That is when she needs to be able to tell them that it is you that has made the decision so that they can not question or challenge her.It sound like you are pretty comfortable with this girl so I would make sure that she knows and understands what you are expecting and want. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Also if the girl has never met a foreigner in person then she may need support and I don't blame her. Think about how it is for her as many Filipinas are shy so coming all that way on a bus to a city since shes a province girl might not be an easy task so a friend with her is not really too much to ask or discourage in my opinion. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adventurer Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 She picked the money up today. I rang her earlier today as I wanted to know if she got it ok as sometimes they can not understand about remit at M hullier. She said she got it and was there at the shops then, my phone is broken so hard to talk. I said I would call her this evening and she said she was going to text me I think but I never got one which was a little disappointing. I never bothered to call her but I will see if she text's me tomorrow.. she was the same as usual and thankful, maybe she was just expecting me to call like I do most evenings .... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I just wanted to say thanks for keeping us in the loop. After the discussion many of us participated in, I would like to know how the story ends. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i am bob Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I have a feeling that, despite all the warnings and advice you received, you are going to find this young lady to be who you believe her to be and have a long and happy life together! So may I be the first to offer you my congratulations! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I have a feeling that, despite all the warnings and advice you received, you are going to find this young lady to be who you believe her to be and have a long and happy life together! So may I be the first to offer you my congratulations! No congratulations yet until after their first meeting or wedding, because it could just be a bust or wishful great expectations on his part! So, let Adventurer take it one step at a time and then he can report back to us for more advise even after he didn't take all of our previous advice seriously! :boohoo: "The glass is half empty"! :hystery: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adventurer Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) I have a good feeling too despite I was a little disapointed she does not text me. I think her phone is not working properly or maybe she is just shy too text or doesn't see the point when she can leave messages on facebook once a week when she gets online or maybe she just expects me to do all the calling and texting? But I do know she is sincere and I'm really excited about her, We had a good conversation last night even though both our phones are playing up but I did hear her say some nice things about me :boohoo: Edited February 5, 2012 by Adventurer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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