Mike S Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 My dear Sir ....I recently purchased a jar of your product ..... I thought the price was a tad bit high at 5,000 which I though was in peso's but you promptly corrected me and told me that it was in Aussie Dollars ...... but you also assured me that it would do as advertized ...... well I must confess that neither myself or my asawa find your product very good ..... we both tried it on pili as well as peanuts and also on cashew nuts and I must say it tasted terrible (please see instructions on your picture) ..... every time we tried to talk bubbles came from our mouths and we had this craving to drink lots of water ....As per your instructions we are returning the unused portion for a complete 100% money back grantee ...... I hope we can expect to see your refund in the very near future ....SincerelyMr. and Mrs. Farquar Humperdink da III 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 we both tried it on pili Dear Sir,You have reached the Philippine Call Center for the Australian Sales Center. It is our job to confusticate the issue and delay the dispensing of any funds long enough that such dispersal never occurs.While you were correct to spread the cream on your pili, did you notice that it is 'hound' 'drivers' cream. We have contacted our concerned department with your concerns and they are concerned that you are not using the cream in the proper manner. Are you indeed 'doing it' hound style, or as you yanks would say, doggie style? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 1, 2012 Posted April 1, 2012 (edited) we both tried it on pili Dear Sir,You have reached the Philippine Call Center for the Australian Sales Center. It is our job to confusticate the issue and delay the dispensing of any funds long enough that such dispersal never occurs.While you were correct to spread the cream on your pili, did you notice that it is 'hound' 'drivers' cream. We have contacted our concerned department with your concerns and they are concerned that you are not using the cream in the proper manner. Are you indeed 'doing it' hound style, or as you yanks would say, doggie style? As a global distributor representing Mr HoundDriver, please be advised that millions of satisfied customers have written testimonies of the natural healing and enhancement properties of this miracle cream. For example, the following statement of affidavit received recently from a satisfied Filipino: Dear Mr Doggie Dave, I wish to order another year's supply of this enhancement cream. All my partners are in extreme ecstasy with prolong erectile stature that last for more than four hours. For the last several months, our nocturnal activities have become more and more addictive. I beg of you to expedite this order as soon as possible. Thank you!! Respec-pully - Mr Malaki ang Bayag. So, as you can see -- there are virtually millions of satisfied customers. As a matter of professional courtesy, always remember to shave your bayag prior to application to accelerate absorption of this miracle cream. Sincerely, Jake the Snake Distribution Network LTD 69 Scammer Blvd LAGOS CITY, REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA Edited April 29, 2012 by Jake sentence structure 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve & Myrlita Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 See, the shadow does know..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SubicSteve Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 It is OBVIOUS that Mike is trying to pull a fast one because every foreigner knows that if he had really tried to purchase the hand cream, the response would have been "Sorry Sir, out of stock." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike S Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) Well SubicSteve just to clarify my recent dealings with the JollyGoodFellow ...... AKA TinyTim ..... after discovering to my dismay that I had been using this cream on the wrong nuts .... as Mr. Jake the Snake Distribution Network ... of .... LTD 69 Scammer Blvd LAGOS CITY, REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA ....... (it was so kind of him to send me a very detailed video of himself using the cream and with detail instructions and in HD too) .... I decided to give it one more try ...... I must say after MANY HOURS of intensely rubbing on your cream ... on the right nuts this time of course ..... I discovered that I had now developed a dramatic twitch in my right arm .... my eyes are blurry...... my speech is now slurred and my nuts have shriveled up and painful to the touch ...... my asawa is very dismayed at how a grown man can spend so much time being amused by such a small thing and has now threatened to sharpen up her bolo and relieve me of my new found obsession ....... After taking out a 5-6 from our local Bombay banker I sent in my order for 100 jars of their cream ..... only to receive the disheartening reply just like you said ..... "sorry sir out of stock" ..... "try again later" ....... well here I sit ... my world is crushed and all I can hear is the sound of my asawa dragging that damn bolo across her grindstone ...... and see that evil smile on her face as she says "don't worry darling ..... your misery will all be over soon enough" ........ scrape ...... scrape ...... scrape Edited April 30, 2012 by Mike S 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 ....... well here I sit ... my world is crushed and all I can hear is the sound of my asawa dragging that damn bolo across her grindstone ...... and see that evil smile on her face as she says "don't worry darling ..... your misery will all be over soon enough" ........ scrape ...... scrape ...... scrape Well, here I sit....my world is crushed nothing but 100 jars of mistrust Damn that Dave Horn Dog and his sidekick Nigerian My bolo sharpened now by Bob, the frozen Canadian But here comes Bombay Jake, another snake from down under Is he really a good bloke with his little thing going flutter, a flutter? Let's just wait for the Boss and see what's up He'll probably tell us to shove it up your butt! It's The World As We Know It -- Jake (staying on topic....he, he) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Call me bubba Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 would this creme would if used on livestock? I have read of a man who could use some as his last partner passed away suddenly, 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 And I thought I was the only one nuts around here :hystery: In case anyone wanted to know what this is all about, it started about here, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i am bob Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 See Tom? You admitted that you're a little nuts and thus we all now know that you use Hounddriver's cream too! Just watch out for others offering to help you rub it in... :mocking: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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