Dowry?

[Curley]

Perhaps they need to learn that the definition of dowry is:

Money or property brought by a bride to her husband at marriage

Thanks Dave, they are calling it a present to them so I can't even use this.

[Curley]

Probably, in their opinion, for their virgin daughters company for 3 weeks, it's the screwin you get for the screwin you got. RUN FORREST RUN !!!!!!!!!!! If it's not too late. 3 weeks? Is she pregnant?

They think the daughter is still a virgin. Did they really believe that we would sleep together and not screw? Or did they think that once I had tasted the forbidden fruit I would be more compliant? Pregnant? Nope, I had a vasectomy years ago.

[Curley]

Has anyone else been hit for a dowry demand in the Philippines? Briefly, a well brought up Catholic girl, educated, never had a boyfriend before, I met the parents 3 times, got on well, they were all in favour, allowed her to come on holiday with me for 3 weeks, planning to move to Philippines in May/June and to get married soon after. She has been a little "down" the last couple of weeks, yesterday it all came out.... her parents (read Mother) are demanding 500,000 "present" before the wedding and no more staying together till after the wedding.

I have a couple of questions;

1.) How old is she? If she is over 18 but under 21 you need parental consent. (Run)

If she is 21-24 you need written confirmation of parental advice. (Possible)

If she is over 25, too bad...Momma is SOL and has absolutely no say in the matter (Unless your lady gives it to her in which case....Run)!

2.) Did you see any possible hint of this coming or did this slap you in the face?

3.) How does your lady feel about it all? (This could be a preview of your life together with her family). Can you live with this? FYI: P500K is approx $12,000 USD!

She was 19 when we met, will be 21 in Oct 2012, Did I see a hint? Yes but not for anything like this amount. Preview of my life? Nope, I've already turned it down flat, I did offer to buy my girl a small house as a wedding present, it would be in her name and she could rent it out or let the parents live there free of charge. I also promised her an allowance every month (didn't say how much) that she could use for clothes, make up family etc.

This did not suit Mother, she wants 500,000 cash! No guarantee of this being a one off! Adios...... I have my running shoes on. I did offer the girl the chance to live with me but the brainwashing of the family is too great at the moment.

[Curley]

Sorry Curley, i agree with the crowd... RUN!

This is likely a preview of your married life i'm sorry to say. Unless your lovely bride to be is a VERY strong woman and ready to toss her parents out on their butts, you're in for a rough ass ride man. Better to kill it before it gets really ugly and you have a lot more cash on the table.

Yes, absolutely agree with you. She knows she cannot withstand their pressure so we have agreed amicably to call it off.

[Curley]

It's an old tradition, still practiced in parts of the world. No problem, but tell them they have three too many 0's to the right of the 5.

May be able to afford that :thumbsup:

[Steve & Myrlita]

Has anyone else been hit for a dowry demand in the Philippines? Briefly, a well brought up Catholic girl, educated, never had a boyfriend before, I met the parents 3 times, got on well, they were all in favour, allowed her to come on holiday with me for 3 weeks, planning to move to Philippines in May/June and to get married soon after. She has been a little "down" the last couple of weeks, yesterday it all came out.... her parents (read Mother) are demanding 500,000 "present" before the wedding and no more staying together till after the wedding.

I have a couple of questions;

1.) How old is she? If she is over 18 but under 21 you need parental consent. (Run)

If she is 21-24 you need written confirmation of parental advice. (Possible)

If she is over 25, too bad...Momma is SOL and has absolutely no say in the matter (Unless your lady gives it to her in which case....Run)!

2.) Did you see any possible hint of this coming or did this slap you in the face?

3.) How does your lady feel about it all? (This could be a preview of your life together with her family). Can you live with this? FYI: P500K is approx $12,000 USD!

She was 19 when we met, will be 21 in Oct 2012, Did I see a hint? Yes but not for anything like this amount. Preview of my life? Nope, I've already turned it down flat, I did offer to buy my girl a small house as a wedding present, it would be in her name and she could rent it out or let the parents live there free of charge. I also promised her an allowance every month (didn't say how much) that she could use for clothes, make up family etc.

This did not suit Mother, she wants 500,000 cash! No guarantee of this being a one off! Adios...... I have my running shoes on. I did offer the girl the chance to live with me but the brainwashing of the family is too great at the moment.

Very good sir. She just showed you that you will never be number one with her but her family will be priority and she will forever expect you to comply with that without question and like it too. I'm sorry you got hurt but I glad you found out now instead of later when would too late. Take care.

PS:

P500K cash? When did you fall on the floor laughing and how long did it last?

Edited April 10, 2012 by Steve & Myrlita

[Curley]

I say negotiate, see if the mother will throw in 2 more daughters for the same price. :th_Good-Luck:

There's only one other sister unmarried and she takes after her Mother so I wouldn't want her. :signnvm:

[Americano]

Are you sure her family is Catholic? Sounds more like Muslim to me. The Muslims in Mindanao expect a lot of money and presents when someone marries their daughter.

I say forget about her too.

Edited April 10, 2012 by Americano

[Jack Peterson]

:unsure: Wow! This is Quite a revelation, I asked my Wife about it, she tells me that in the Hills and poorer areas it still happens. mmm Well, I had never heard of it, maybe in Thailand and India but never here. Any way, have a look at what Chan Robles has to say on it. It would appear that it is not always just a ONE OFF payment, he Quotes monthly payments for a number of years. Not for me I fear, if the Girl or the mother won't yield, move on is my answer. I have a friend who would never Admit to this but we have always said, there was more to the marriage than met the eye. Nice new Small holding the In-Laws-Have

The one thing he quotes from a Supreme Court Ruling, it is a legally binding agreement between the male and the family.

Looks like you would indeed be marrying the family. You really will become their ATM. :no: What ever happened to marrying for love I wonder.

Jack P. :tiphat:

[Curley]

Are you sure her family is Catholic? Sounds more like Muslim to me. The Muslims in Mindanao expect a lot of money and presents when someone marries their daughter.

I say forget about her too.

Yes, Catholic, sings in the Cathedral choir, I've met her priest. Some Thai families try the same trick. I could pay it without it hurting too much but it's the chance of ongoing demands that worries me. I'm out.