Dowry?

[Curley]

:unsure: Wow! This is Quite a revelation, I asked my Wife about it, she tells me that in the Hills and poorer areas it still happens. mmm Well, I had never heard of it, maybe in Thailand and India but never here. Any way, have a look at what Chan Robles has to say on it. It would appear that it is not always just a ONE OFF payment, he Quotes monthly payments for a number of years. Not for me I fear, if the Girl or the mother won't yield, move on is my answer. I have a friend who would never Admit to this but we have always said, there was more to the marriage than met the eye. Nice new Small holding the In-Laws-Have

The one thing he quotes from a Supreme Court Ruling, it is a legally binding agreement between the male and the family.

Looks like you would indeed be marrying the family. You really will become their ATM. :no: What ever happened to marrying for love I wonder.

Jack P. :tiphat:

How many marriages are made in the name of love? Lust.... probably more although with the stigma of sex before marriage almost gone, lust is probably not such a factor any more. Take a look at the attitude of Parents if the girl has a wealthy boyfriend or one with a good job...... they are usually very keen for the marriage to go ahead. Yep, money counts.

[sjp52]

I know what I would do. I would tell the girl if you want to marry me and have a good life you must do it with out the parents permission ( hard decision for her as she has been with them her whole life and only part time with you ). Even if she decides to go with you there could be problems down the road with her missing her family. My better judgement would say its a no win situation.

[Curley]

I just want to add that I did make it very clear from the start that I would be able to give her a good life but that I would not support her family. That obviously fell on deaf ears as far as Mother was concerned.

Mother has been married twice..... first time had 7 kids, married again at 42 to a 28 year old unmarried man and had 2 more children. The Father must have had some heavy persuasion to take on a woman 14 years his senior with 7 kids in tow. They're now 50 and 64. Apparently the Father's family were not pleased with his choice of wife!

[Ashanti]

I know what I would do. I would tell the girl if you want to marry me and have a good life you must do it with out the parents permission ( hard decision for her as she has been with them her whole life and only part time with you ). Even if she decides to go with you there could be problems down the road with her missing her family. My better judgement would say its a no win situation.

not that hard if the girl has her heard well screwed on regardless of age!!!

what the mother is demanding is nonsense - even if they truly practice the old filipino tradition, which is very doubtful. what does the girl or the mother thinks- she is Miss Universe???????????

[Curley]

I know what I would do. I would tell the girl if you want to marry me and have a good life you must do it with out the parents permission ( hard decision for her as she has been with them her whole life and only part time with you ). Even if she decides to go with you there could be problems down the road with her missing her family. My better judgement would say its a no win situation.

I agree with you but she cannot marry without the parents consent at 20, only live with me. Yes there could be problems in the future, especially from the Mother, as you say a no win situation.

A great pity, she's very attractive, good figure, intelligent and speaks 4 languages. We have parted amicably so who knows what will happen, if she does change her mind and wants to live together with no support from the family, I would probably agree but to live well away from family with no prospect of marriage till she's 25.

[Curley]

I know what I would do. I would tell the girl if you want to marry me and have a good life you must do it with out the parents permission ( hard decision for her as she has been with them her whole life and only part time with you ). Even if she decides to go with you there could be problems down the road with her missing her family. My better judgement would say its a no win situation.

not that hard if the girl has her heard well screwed on regardless of age!!!

what the mother is demanding is nonsense - even if they truly practice the old filipino tradition, which is very doubtful. what does the girl or the mother thinks- she is Miss Universe???????????

Not quite Miss Universe material but a very attractive girl, the biggest attraction for me is not her looks but her intelligence. She loves learning and can hold a very sensible conversation. Oh, and a great singer too.

[daisy]

I will give my two cents:

At 19 she is still so young to be allowed by her parents to go out with you for three weeks. I have a 24 year old daughter and I go crazy these days thinking that she has already a boyfriend. She is now accusing me of just being jealous because I don't have her full attention.... :( With this, I would still say that gone were those days that parents of the bride could demand something from the guy. Nowadays, both parents would discussed whatever contributions they could share for the wedding and if possible for their future. The girl might not take much of the expenses since majority will be shouldered by the guy and his family.

Regardless of their financial background, the parents should not have allowed that three weeks escapade and after all demand for such amount!!! To me it's plainly selling their daughter to somebody whom they think CAN'T say NO to them anymore after that 3 weeks!!! If I want that amount for my daughter, then right there and then before taking her with you, I will demand that amount!!! Sorry to say but if I happen to be the daughter, I will run away with the guy for nothing!!!!! :mocking:

It is still sad....

[Call me bubba]

Sorry Curley, i agree with the crowd... RUN!

[Curley]

I will give my two cents:

At 19 she is still so young to be allowed by her parents to go out with you for three weeks. I have a 24 year old daughter and I go crazy these days thinking that she has already a boyfriend. She is now accusing me of just being jealous because I don't have her full attention.... :( With this, I would still say that gone were those days that parents of the bride could demand something from the guy. Nowadays, both parents would discussed whatever contributions they could share for the wedding and if possible for their future. The girl might not take much of the expenses since majority will be shouldered by the guy and his family.

Regardless of their financial background, the parents should not have allowed that three weeks escapade and after all demand for such amount!!! To me it's plainly selling their daughter to somebody whom they think CAN'T say NO to them anymore after that 3 weeks!!! If I want that amount for my daughter, then right there and then before taking her with you, I will demand that amount!!! Sorry to say but if I happen to be the daughter, I will run away with the guy for nothing!!!!! :mocking:

It is still sad....

She was 20 1/2 when we went for our 3 week holiday, I must say I was surprised that the parents agreed.... the daughter had never had a boyfriend, never kissed a boy and promised her mother that we would be good :sign0095: Perhaps the Mother was calculating that "something" would happen and I would then do anything to keep the girl.

Perhaps Daisy and Ashanti should talk to her :)

[Jack Peterson]

:unsure: Wow! This is Quite a revelation, I asked my Wife about it, she tells me that in the Hills and poorer areas it still happens. mmm Well, I had never heard of it, maybe in Thailand and India but never here. Any way, have a look at what Chan Robles has to say on it. It would appear that it is not always just a ONE OFF payment, he Quotes monthly payments for a number of years. Not for me I fear, if the Girl or the mother won't yield, move on is my answer. I have a friend who would never Admit to this but we have always said, there was more to the marriage than met the eye. Nice new Small holding the In-Laws-Have

The one thing he quotes from a Supreme Court Ruling, it is a legally binding agreement between the male and the family.

Looks like you would indeed be marrying the family. You really will become their ATM. :no: What ever happened to marrying for love I wonder.

Jack P. :tiphat:

How many marriages are made in the name of love? Lust.... probably more although with the stigma of sex before marriage almost gone, lust is probably not such a factor any more. Take a look at the attitude of Parents if the girl has a wealthy boyfriend or one with a good job...... they are usually very keen for the marriage to go ahead. Yep, money counts.

Lets Quote our Grand Parents Thoughts and sayings. " MARRY in haste and relent in leisure" come on Curley, you know it makes sense. This is a get rich Quick scheme, I have not known you that long but I can tell, you are beyond this. :thumbsup:

Please don't be a statistic, be the man that said NO!

We all know that the PI family can be overruling But this is Just taking the P....s!

If she is for real, let her make the decision. ??????? She makes her bed, let her Lay on it. Harsh but honest words here my friend.

Jack P. :)