Preventing Scams

[MikeB]

So did I get scammed? Or was this just a relationship that didn't work out?

Impossible for a casual reader to say, you would have to know if she had feelings for you (at least as a friend) or was there larceny in her heart. I think the word "scam" is overused and, anyway, it doesn't sound like it was much of a financial windfall for her. You did due diligence so you knew she was playing. It sounds like you had a fairly pleasant time together and parted ways amicably. Putting the kibosh on the visiting cousin was a wise decision.

[Dave Hounddriver]

Come to find out she has quite a few facebook accounts under different names. None of them her own.

So did I get scammed?

Here is one definition I like, taken from a generic web site.

Scam definition: obtaining money by means of deception including fake personalities, fake photos,

But she could also be considered as an 'escort'. People in that profession do not give out their true life details. You get their companionship and they get some form of compensation. I suggest the difference between a scammer and an escort is that you know what she is up to.

[i am bob]

IMHO - In this case, I don't think you got scammed unless you think you got scammed. Why? By the sounds of it, you had a fairly good time and expenses weren't too high. At the same time you had some reasonably good company and now you know that it just wasn't to be.

What do you think? Were you or weren't you? It would be interesting to know what your thoughts on this are!

[jode]

Seems like with her head cold and monthly, it was just a case of bad timing for part of your vacation. The fact that she didn't expect you to share in her misery, but just endured it alone and hardly spoke to you, is a plus I would say. The cousin visit could have turned out to your advantage but those maneuvers are tricky.

More than likely she was just miserable in her condition and wanted a familiar face to cheer her up, and also to earn points with a relative for including her in the good living. You certainly didn't get scammed because she didn't misrepresent herself too much and you said you are satisfied with the results of your trip.

If she didn't talk about her family it is probably because she has a broken or dysfunctional one. Its my experience that if the family is close and loving it will be her greatest pride and joy and she will talk endlessly about them if she can. Family is all important here and those from a broken one are to be greatly pitied.

They like to imagine themselves as more than they are and put many untruths in their profiles for who knows what reason. Don't think they are fooling too many. Most filipinas have a terrible self image. Its part of what makes them sweet. If they had an over inflated self-image they would be like the women back home.

Once you convince them of how wonderful they are alot of the sweetness goes, so guys don't overdo the praise and compliments. She may be a knockout, but if you get her to believe that, you may be the one who is out.

Maybe you shouldn't give up on her. Maybe she didn't contact you because she was ashamed of her condition while on the trip and just doesn't want to try and be rejected. You can't blame her for keeping other options open, you haven't really been together that long. Do you keep other options open?

The fantasy of other accounts she has may be just that, the fantasy of a troubled girl. Tell her that you know about them, and ask her to come clean, and see what her response is. If she lies then forget her. Try a little tenderness and see her response. You had a long chat history and some good times together. She may be worth keeping on the back burner at least.

Edited May 9, 2012 by jode

[Jack Peterson]

Not Scammed maybe but Sounds as if you may have been used here to set up a false identity for a scam to happen later to some other unsuspecting guy IMHO. The PMA thing would have given some bell sounds to me I think good you stopped the Cousin visit No telling where that would have led too. lesson Learned? time to move on best of luck for the Future.

Jack P. :tiphat:

Edited May 9, 2012 by Jack Peterson

[earthdome]

What do you think? Were you or weren't you? It would be interesting to know what your thoughts on this are!

No, I don't think I was scammed. Mostly because I didn't let myself get scammed. I held back on any big emotional or monetary commitment because I wasn't sure enough of her intentions. By nature I am a skeptic and a cynic. I try to base my evaluation of someone on their actions... not on what they say. There weren't enough red flags to call off the vacation and I saw it as an opportunity to determine if the relationship had a future.

I am glad I spent time on this board and other websites so that my eyes were open to all possibilities both positive and negative in a filipina relationship with a foreigner.

Nice to see all the healthy filipina/foreigner relationships on this forum, that gives me hope that I can find that special filipina for a long term relationship.

Perhaps after I make the move in 6-12 months when I can work to meet that special filipina on the ground where I live.

[earthdome]

Seems like with her head cold and monthly, it was just a case of bad timing for part of your vacation. The fact that she didn't expect you to share in her misery, but just endured it alone and hardly spoke to you, is a plus I would say. The cousin visit could have turned out to your advantage but those maneuvers are tricky.

More than likely she was just miserable in her condition and wanted a familiar face to cheer her up, and also to earn points with a relative for including her in the good living. You certainly didn't get scammed because she didn't misrepresent herself too much and you said you are satisfied with the results of your trip.

If she didn't talk about her family it is probably because she has a broken or dysfunctional one. Its my experience that if the family is close and loving it will be her greatest pride and joy and she will talk endlessly about them if she can. Family is all important here and those from a broken one are to be greatly pitied.

They like to imagine themselves as more than they are and put many untruths in their profiles for who knows what reason. Don't think they are fooling too many. Most filipinas have a terrible self image. Its part of what makes them sweet. If they had an over inflated self-image they would be like the women back home.

Once you convince them of how wonderful they are alot of the sweetness goes, so guys don't overdo the praise and compliments. She may be a knockout, but if you get her to believe that, you may be the one who is out.

Maybe you shouldn't give up on her. Maybe she didn't contact you because she was ashamed of her condition while on the trip and just doesn't want to try and be rejected. You can't blame her for keeping other options open, you haven't really been together that long. Do you keep other options open?

The fantasy of other accounts she has may be just that, the fantasy of a troubled girl. Tell her that you know about them, and ask her to come clean, and see what her response is. If she lies then forget her. Try a little tenderness and see her response. You had a long chat history and some good times together. She may be worth keeping on the back burner at least.

Thanks for the insights. At this point I think it is all water under the bridge.

She may very well have sensed my reservations and thus held back herself. Maybe she thought I just wanted a fun vacation with her.

Problem is there was little communication beyond surface things. So who knows what she was thinking.

Ultimately, we just didn't connect given the opportunity to spend 10 days together.

Since I will be moving in 6-12 months I will have much better opportunities to find that special filipina once I am living in the Philippines and can meet people more naturally without the hazards of meeting online or stress of building trust in a relationship during a short time visit.

[Ruddy_Rooster]

Despite the topic title, I saw little about 'Preventing scams'.

Did someone get scammed in AC?, wow. Little 18yr old virgins are getting taken advantage of?

From the Western male point of view, dont give money (outside of general expenses, ie internet cafe) to someone you never met.

From the Filipina point of view, don't sc**w for financial gain.

* I know it's short and concise but am willing to expand further if necessary!

Edited June 25, 2012 by Ruddy_Rooster

[Call me bubba]

for the new members and those who had forgot about this scam,

Perhaps its time to Re-read it,

thanks to OLD55 for this valuable post, I am sure it has helped others to avoid being scammed like this

http://www.philippin...t-visit-to-cebu

The inside story of how the scam works

:This one caught me totally by surprise. During our last visit I became a victim of a clever scam while shopping Ayala mall. Simply going out to the mall has turned out to be quite traumatic.

Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you more experianced expats!

Two nice looking Filipinas in their early 20'a will climb in the cab with you as you are departing the mall. They both start wiping off your forehead and the back of your neck with a napken, this with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.

(It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to JollyBee's.You agree, but on the way, they start undressing.

Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen the frist day of our visit,

again the second day and three times the third day the fourth day

I lost count how many times I was taken advantage of.

Sadly it is very likely this same scam will befall me next visit! I feel so durty and used!

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to taken advantage of us older men.

Warn your friends and other expats to all be very vigilant. Prince supermarket has wallets on sale for 100 peso each. I found even cheaper ones for 50 pesos from downtown street vendors

.So please, send this on to all the older guys that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam.

Edited June 26, 2012 by Call me Bubba

[Jollygoodfellow]

I am sure it has helped others to avoid being scammed like this

Hope all realize it was just a joke :89: