Special Study Of Expat And Their Partners

[phildiver]

Preface: This study/investigation was concluded in December of 2011. If you have disagreement or are offended by the results and say “Oh, Not Me” please don’t whine to me about it. I just took down the information. So please lighten up.

General Facts: The Philippines is a poor country and foreigners are a way out of this poverty for many women giving them and their families’ possibility of a better life. Foreigners on the other hand, have an opportunity to be with women whom they could only dream about having back in their home countries. And the men should really not complain. I mean the fact is, all most expats have to do is look in the mirror and they should count their blessing that anyone would want to look at them let alone be involved with them in the first place despite financial security they may offer!!!

Over the past couple (two) of years we have been conducting an informal study of Expats and their Filipina partners as it concerned various aspects of a relationship. The study included the cities of Manila, Cebu, Davao and Dumaguete. The purpose of this article is not to get anyone into trouble or name names. It is solely to bring out the rather surprising results of our study. The study involved over 200 men from a few different countries but mostly Americans and Brits as many of the foreigners we tried to interview (mostly German & Swiss) had limited English and made it difficult for me to communicate with. All the men and women (Girls) interviewed were involved in relationships. The only steady demographic was with the age of the men who were mostly in their 60’s and 70’s. There were a few outside this age range in their 50’s and younger but that was a very small age demographic. As for the background makeup of these men it really was an interesting melting pot of guys from all walks of life. Politically – conservative and liberal, Work – blue and white collar drinkers, smokers, pot heads, you name it. While I didn't keep an actual tally, I will say that most of the men involved in this study were blue collar, middle class and would not necessarily be considered very cultured, sophisticated or even formally educated. Most though were very knowledgeable on many subjects from life experience, reading, the internet, etc…The few at the higher moneyed levels (blue and white collar) seemed to be very cultured, sophisticated, traveled, knowledgeable, educated and outside the majority percentage findings of the study that follows. Hey what can I say, that’s how it came out. The more moneyed guys also had more stable and loyal relationships.

Those of you who have followed my blog (see web address below) are well aware of my reporting over the years about expats. As I have mentioned on more than a few occasions most of the men living in the Philippines came here either for financial reasons and/or for sex or relationships with very young women. The majority of the men or women involved in this investigation were married or in serious relationships with many of the men having gf’s and wives 35 to 50 plus years younger than themselves. A number of men also had partners that were within 20 years of their age.

Much of the information for this study was gained from informal discussions (which would not be a cause of alarm or suspicion) mostly from the women who tend to be more honest and forthcoming and since most of the questions were geared to the women. It was actually amazing how much people are willing to talk about. Percentages were generated by dividing the number of people actually answering a question in a specific category by the total number in the category. For the record, my wife did the interviews of the women. My wife is an incredibly astute person, educated, street smart, likeable and very easy to be with and get comfortable around. She had the extraordinary ability to put the women at ease and get them to divulge the things pertinent to the study. None of the girls were compromised as a result of this study and they had total anonymity as did the men. Furthermore, there will never be a release of names as none were recorded. Only the information!!

Conclusions

1. Most of the gf/wives of these guys have or have had Filipino boyfriends on the side during their time with a Foreigner bf/husband. This number was higher with the much younger women but also included a large number of women within 20 years in age of their foreigner partners. The overall number was nearly 85% of women of both age ranges having cheated sometime during the relationship (infidelity was for this study was based on having sexual intercourse with someone other than your partner). In fact many of the women had Filipino boyfriends before embarking on their relationships with the foreigners and many of these women were encouraged to have relationships with foreigners for obvious financial considerations. During the relationship, many women mentioned a lack of consistent sexual desire and/or sexual performance issues with their foreign men. Some women mentioned outright disgust at the thought of having sex with their male partners. As for the men, less than 35% said they cheated on their gf/wives. I would probably challenge this as being to low a figure but that is what they said to me. Some of the men were actually doing their own house helpers.

2. Over 75% of the women tried to get pregnant soon into the relationship/marriage in order to create more financial security for themselves; oftentimes the age of the man or their having had vasectomies prevented this from happening;

3. Over 65% of the women are either mentally and/or physically abused by their husbands;

4. Over 75% of the husbands are extremely frugal with their wives and keep them on as short a leash financially as possible;

5. About 25% of the men live purely on Social Security, 60% have pensions supplementing their SS benefits and the 15% balance of men are financially well off (having SS, pensions and substantial savings) and would be well off in any country;

6. 100% of the women interviewed had extreme jealousy of their partners and concerns about their philandering despite a low number actually doing so.

7. Over 75% of the men smoked;

8. Over 75% of the men drink and over 40% of these men have drinking problems;

9. Over 75% of the men were either fat or obese;

Even though this study has taken place over a couple of years and I have forgotten many of the people involved, I still enjoyed conducting it. Back in the states I was a very successful watchdog in a particular business sector so I guess I am naturally attracted to doing stuff like this. As an objective investigator, I also make no judgments on the outcome and try to stick to facts and logical conclusions. I think I have done that here.

The women bring beauty (eye of the beholder), sweetness, patience, innocence to a degree, obedience, and other positive elements to a relationship in the eyes of the men. While on the other hand, the foreign men generally bring a host of bad habits and lifestyle issues with them here including; excessive drinking, smoking, abuse, obesity, health, poor hygiene, body decay, dental, and so much more… and again they should be so lucky to have a woman willing to accept these issues. So it also should be no surprise that this acceptance comes with a price. In this study, that price was mostly in the form of infidelity but it seems loyalty (taking care of their men) was not compromised and was steadfast with the women despite their infidelity.

Lets make no mistake that there were a number of women in this study that have true larceny in their hearts and would do anything to get the financial benefits they seek including lying, stealing and even consider doing harm to their partners.

I have no suggestions about dealing with the things our study revealed. I only hope that it doesn’t exist in your life.

http://mylifeinthephilippines.com

[TheMason]

I love how you present opinion and heresay as fact. You should go work for Fox News.

[Okieboy]

hahahha I see the same things in the good old USA, the times are hard there now,35% of males able to work cannot get work or have stopped looking

[Dzighnman]

SPECIAL analysis of this "special study"

Firstly, I am as light mnded as the next guy and even if this purported "study" held water, I would not take offense. I know full well that even the best of statistical analysis struggle to isolate opinion when the conclusions are conveyed.

This study/investigation was concluded in December of 2011

As someone that has collected, assessed and drawn conclusions from "data" my entire career, I must reply to this post with my opinion. Any study, of any value whatsoever, would not contain a statement such as, " While I didn't keep an actual tally,". That statement tells me straightaway, that this "study" is more an informal reporting of your opinion. A true statistical analysis would have also taken some of the collected data towards the undeniable positives that contribute to many relatioships NOT being a party to one or more of the mostly dysfunction that you purport to have vetted out.

I personally, lend little to no creedence to this collection of data as it is presented with a common theme, Foreigners are mostly evil losers and Filipinas are conniving opportunists. Both conclusions that I feel would not be supported if in fact, we were reviewing the results of an objective study with objective questions asked in a consistent and straightforward manner, and not in a way such that they support this pre-decided conclusion.

I do find this more entertaining and telling of the author than in any way, a true and accurate representation of the demographic you claim is the subject of your special study. You do not state how you came across these subjects of your study, other than to indicate it was conducted in a manner "(which would not be a cause of alarm or suspicion)". OK, you tricked them with leading questions is how I read that. Without you disclosing more about your subject pool, one might conclude that it is most likely limited to people you met at restos and/or bars so no surprise that you came across drinking problems etc. By the way, are you qualified to assess anyone regarding their use of alcohol? Maybe you came across a subject that was on vacation and otherwise did not drink?)

You listed 9 key conclusions, ALL negative... this is the most telling evidence that you are not only stating unsupported opinion, but moreso, that you are sadly presenting opinion that perpetuates the myth that the mojority of these relationships are dysfunctional in some way... a myth that I, on the ground in the Philippines do not see... maybe it is due to my associating with many outside of bars, homebodies and good family folks....

Most studies start off with a detailed description of the author and their stated goals in conductiong the analysis.... I did not see that in yours. You stated, "If you have disagreement or are offended by the results and say “Oh, Not Me” please don’t whine to me about it. I just took down the information. So please lighten up." So I will clarify, I do not have DATA to disagree with your results, nor am I in any way offended as I do not take your conclusions as fact... your entitled opinion.. no prob. I do take issue with this being presented as some level of accurate and carefully collated data... which is infererred... the title should be, "My sad opinion on foreigner relations in the Philippines". Then I would have skipped over the whole thing as even the entertainment value is low.

....and lastly, so that I know how to read your future posts... are you a paid advertiser or something? I see a website and the all so subtle referral link. Not thast I see anything wrong with that, it is just nice to know when I am reading an infommercial, like those fake newspaper adverts made to look like real news. Helps me know one more website to avoid... thanks for that!

Oh, one more thing: If you have disagreement or are offended by the results and say “Oh, Not Me” please don’t whine to me about it. I just responded to the information. So please lighten up.

:hystery: :hystery: :hystery: :hystery:

Edited May 18, 2012 by Jollygoodfellow

[Dzighnman]

hahahha I see the same things in the good old USA, the times are hard there now,35% of males able to work cannot get work or have stopped looking

Very true Okieboy, and a more troubling number might be the underemployed... on the upside, we see many more Phd's taking your McDonalds orders now so accuracy is up on that front.

:th_unfair:

[Mike S]

Kinda reminds you of here ...... college grads working at Jollibee and ChowKing ..... but at least they are working ..... not sitting on their a*s like in the US getting welfare and food stamps ......

[phildiver]

Well Dzighnman If you read the study you will see that the my job of asking the men questions was the easiest and was totally objective with no opinion. I could see how many smoked, drank,I could ask about their financial resources, Casually see about any cheating on their part or mistresses, see how they looked, etc... all information that men of any country are readily willing to talk about freely with anyone even someone they just met if they were at ease. Turns out many guys here are bored but open and relaxed and share stuff that would never happen elsewhere in the World. Outside the Philippines most would tell you to go F yourself. Not here. Despite having great friendsI have much better friends here than I had in the States. The pressure is off here.

Now my partner on the other hand had all the hard work and it turns out even her job was easy as well. WHY, because Fililipinas love to talk to other Filipinas. They need an outlet to vent. You truly think you are their soulmate or something ha ha ha. Yes in rare cases but overall they love to be with other Filipinas if only to vent about their charming life with a 250 lb. glutton, or a guy smells like death, who drinks, smokes, eats like a pig but otherwise might be sweet on them. So you can critize or question the integrity of the study all you want. Like I said all we did is collect information. I didn't keep tallies of names, or how many lived in one place or another, as (again) that was totally irrelevant to the study. And we would never consider revealing this information even if we had it as we would never consider hurting anyone or their relationship for whatever it is. Obviously the women are willing to endur with their partners or they would leave right.

Now I know this might be hard to take and accept. I didn't make it up. We didn't do this to hurt people. My partner mentioned to me from time to time about girls she spoke to about their relationships and I was surprised at how many were screwing around on the side so I thought doing a study on this would be cool so we did.

Dzighnman I think it is great that you associate with those not frequenting bars and are homebodies etc. And I hope you are an exception if you have a close relationship with your partner. And if you do happen to have a really close and genuine relationship with your wife or GF I will bet money if you have her go and talk to other girls those girls will be happy to open up about their relationships with their partners and tell everything if they are comfortable. Try it and let me know the results. Or if you have abunch of girls together have someone listen in on their conversation and you will be amazed how much they talk about their own relationships. The good, bad and ugly

I'm sorry but I don't like when my credibility is attacked so I get bitchy

And I have nothing to promote, nothing to sell like JS or RF, BM or others that want to show you how to make money here or a number of other commerical things.

Peace

Edited May 17, 2012 by phildiver

[Ashanti]

Fililipinas love to talk to other Filipinas. They need an outlet to vent. You truly think you are their soulmate or something ha ha ha. Yes in rare cases but overall they love to be with other Filipinas if only to vent about their charming life with a 250 lb. glutton, or a guy smells like death, who drinks, smokes, eats like a pig but otherwise might be sweet on them. So you can critize or question the integrity of the study all you want.

That well maybe true ...................

But please DO NOT ever confused the genuine filipinas loyalty to their menfolk. While some will openly say negatively about their menfolk to fellow filipinas that they are comfortable with but it is a different story if anyone other than her, the wife, say negatively about their menfolk!!!

[Steve & Myrlita]

Fililipinas love to talk to other Filipinas. They need an outlet to vent. You truly think you are their soulmate or something ha ha ha. Yes in rare cases but overall they love to be with other Filipinas if only to vent about their charming life with a 250 lb. glutton, or a guy smells like death, who drinks, smokes, eats like a pig but otherwise might be sweet on them. So you can critize or question the integrity of the study all you want.

That well maybe true ...................

But please DO NOT ever confused the genuine filipinas loyalty to their menfolk. While some will openly say negatively about their menfolk to fellow filipinas that they are comfortable with but it is a different story if anyone other than her, the wife, say negatively about their menfolk!!!

Aah, in other words, I can talk about him but don't you dare.... :th_unfair: :bash:

[phildiver]

Fililipinas love to talk to other Filipinas. They need an outlet to vent. You truly think you are their soulmate or something ha ha ha. Yes in rare cases but overall they love to be with other Filipinas if only to vent about their charming life with a 250 lb. glutton, or a guy smells like death, who drinks, smokes, eats like a pig but otherwise might be sweet on them. So you can critize or question the integrity of the study all you want.

That well maybe true ...................

But please DO NOT ever confused the genuine filipinas loyalty to their menfolk. While some will openly say negatively about their menfolk to fellow filipinas that they are comfortable with but it is a different story if anyone other than her, the wife, say negatively about their menfolk!!!

Aah, in other words, I can talk about him but don't you dare.... :th_unfair: :bash:

Agreed. That is where the 100% jealousy comes into play. It's a strange paridigm. One of the things I have observed (no study involved) and find interesting is that many filipinas tend to get involved with the first guy they can. A lot of this I think comes from fear of loss. What if another guy doesn't come along "I may lose the opportunity". So I do think that many Filipina find themselves with men they really have no interest with but are with for the security they know they have now. And even through having kids they still feel the same. BIZARRE. Not a very healthy way to embark on a relationship. Works with some men the same way....Many Guys are on the Internet in their home country and communicate with a girl here in the Philippines. They come, they meet, she makes an even better impression in person and then he goes home and pursues a fiancee' visa. He doesn't take the time to look around to see more of the country and date other women who may be even more interesting for him. On the other hand I know guys that literally conduct interviews day after day in hotel lobbies or restaurants with potential Mrs. X.