Going To Usa To Get Married

[Beachboy]

Wow .. unfricking real. I've copied this entire topic , and I'll keep it as a reminder of how screwed up things can get. I've worked with Phils birth certificates here in Hawaii and I know some of them are a mess --- just type written scraps of paper that are almost unreadable. But I can't believe that the government is so inept that it getsin a seemingly endless loop unable to correct one. Texas and Rowena I really admire the way you struck with it. And Rowena, ignore the extortion demands .. that's what they are. Separate yourself from your family for a while at least .. they have no love for you and are just trying to use you. If you can, settle in the US for 3 years and get your citizenship .. Good luck.

[TexasRangersFan]

Update: 11/30/12

Haven't been keeping up with the goings on here in the site for a while now.

I found out that I had cracked a few ribs on my left side when the car fell over.

Knew the side was sore just didn't know how bad. The soreness went away after a few days so I didn't worry about it.

About 3 weeks ago tho the smoke was pretty bad here at our house and we were all coughing. I coughed so hard I felt a sharp pain in my side and it put me on the floor. I knew right away what it was. This is not the first time I have broken some ribs. Anyway. Its better now. very little if any pain when I cough. Took some tylenol and just keep going.

Now the bad news.

Keep getting these threatening texts from Rowenas family. Saying basically give us money or else.

Well tonight we found out the or else.

The text says. hi....weng mzta, uli m krn december? wla n rvah me trabaho tabange m vah........., botis nka? ingon c tya vah paareon kno m sa balay blik ky makeg storya cla tanan ky kon dli daw mo ad2 cla sa egency ni glen? blesilda ni

I was told this says. basically hello how are you. are you coming in december. I need help with money. if you don't meet with family and aunt, aunt will go to agency and complain about glen.

asked what agency and she said she didn't know her aunt was not there and she would have to wait until she sees her again to find out what agency.

Last time they started this bad was August 30th. 2 days after filing for my ACR-I card which I have still not recieved after 3 months.

We called and demanded to talk with her parents. Her sister refused said they were sleeping.

I know there are some really bad words now in their language that I didn't know of before.

Rowena was crying and screaming at her sister and calling her every name in english and in their language I am sure she could think of.

We were finally able to talk with her mother. We had told her mother last month that we would be there for christmas. Her mother claimed she new nothing about what her sister had said or done. I really find that hard to believe since she had stated a couple of months ago that she had been telling us what the aunt had told her to do in order to get money from us.

Not sure what to do now. Leave country. Call police. File complaint ( with who I don't know)

Any ideas?

Rowena says that they are bad people and she wants nothing to do with them. I get the same feeling about them.

I am thinking about contacting the US embassy ( just to let them know whats going on in case this gets worse) and perhaps the BI office as well in Manilla.

[MikeB]

Not sure what to do now. Leave country. Call police. File complaint ( with who I don't know) Any ideas? Rowena says that they are bad people and she wants nothing to do with them. I get the same feeling about them. I am thinking about contacting the US embassy ( just to let them know whats going on in case this gets worse) and perhaps the BI office as well in Manilla.

And tell them what? That your fiancee's relatives are threatening to go to some agency to complain about you?

[Thomas]

We were finally able to talk with her mother. We had told her mother last month that we would be there for christmas. Her mother claimed she new nothing about what her sister had said or done. I really find that hard to believe since she had stated a couple of months ago that she had been telling us what the aunt had told her to do in order to get money from us. Not sure what to do now. Leave country. Call police. File complaint ( with who I don't know) Any ideas? Rowena says that they are bad people and she wants nothing to do with them. I get the same feeling about them.

Just from what you have told, it seem for me the parents are NOT involved, or knowing of it but are weak having problem saying No to the evil ones.

A very serious problem. Because of the Philippine bribe culture and crazy justice system, you can never know what mess evil people can make even when you have done nothing wrong.

(E g - if that information is corect - a foreigner was jailed long time on a FALSE accusation claiming he missed a document, although he could show it!!!)

I haven't lived long time there yet, so I don't know what I have to tell officials to live there legal, but if it is similar to Thailand, then you have to tell exact adress. How many databases is it for whole Philippines? If many, then it's hard work for the family to find you. Or if you are lucky :) are the registrations not collected in databases, just on papers? IF it's just on papers, or many different places to check, then I would think of staying inside Phili, but move far, otherwice I wouldn't dare to stay, and leave Phili as soon as possible. Of course it would be possible to stay illigal, not do (part of) the regitrations, but I DON'T recomend that, because then would officials "hunt" you too, even if they don't bother much.

BUT before leaving I would try to make her PARENTS to stop this, because otherwice:

1. They risk their daughter will leave THEM, never want to have contact with them.

2. If the family behave this bad, so she have to leave them, then the PARENTS will lose the chanse to get support when you can give them that.

How is the relation and the power between the parents and the evil aunt?

I mean - Is it realistic to demand the parents tell the AUNT to leave you in peace?

Your gf can tell/ask her parents to tell the sister to stop this terrible behaviour anyway.

Sad for your gf if it wouldn't be solved OK,

BUT it would be an economical ADVANTAGE if the family will go on behaving bad, because then would it will be very easy to skip bother about requests for money for them. I find it easy to say No to a..holes, but hard to handle very important (=health) requests, including judging if they are true or not. If no one in the family behave ok, then you don't have that problem..

[Thomas]

I think it is done so that a corrupt beuracracy can increase their revenue, as you end up paying them extra when they make a mistake.

Im afraid youre getting paranoid …………….

Im sad to admit the mistakes in BC are borne out of dumbness or to be kind doziness rather than conspiracy. Do not believe in PI that a college graduates are really that well educated. There are not and quality varies im afraid. More embarrassingly, there are a lot of college graduates who are even intimidated or scared to fill up a basic form.

Also bear in mind, sometimes BC infos are not filled up by the parents but the clerk/nurse/midwives, etc who are rather shoddy in filling up forms. Prime example is my maiden name. My BC info was entered by the midwife who misspelled my family name. My parents did not bother to check or correct the wrong entry. So they themselves don’t know that I have different surname spelling from my siblings. The problem only surface when I graduated in college as the Uni insisted in using the BC spelling. My father had to execute an affidavit to say that the family and my BC name is the same person. However, all my records now carry the wrong spelling of the family names.

My siblings used to tease me terribly – as im the cuckoo in the nest. And I used to answer back, “yeah…………. the only brilliant one in the nest of mediocres!!! (To the loud guffaws of my juvenile siblings …………. :rolleyes: )

I know many examples high exams isn't proof of that person isn't stupid... :mocking:

It isn't only in the Philippines officials mess up. E g:

/I have several fights with Swedish officials concerning pay from obligatoric insurances depending of my serious knee injury. I have wonn some and lose some in court, even lost two extreemly crazy cases :1 (103): (To boring to tell details, it's enough crap to become abook :)

/But it's a bit funny the priest managed to register THREE spelling errors in my name plus wrong birth parish. Either I were born there (I were born in the taxicab on the way to the provincial hospital), or my parents living there, but the priest registrated me in that small parish anyway, just because my mother had been visited her parents there. Perhaps he was happy he had anyone to claim was born there during that year :)

[Call me bubba]

Not sure what to do now. Leave country. Call police. File complaint ( with who I don't know) Any ideas?

File it with your barangay? make a copy of your issues, keep it safe-place or make a video for "protection" in case the worse occurs

In the DEAR PAO column-(manilatimes.net) has discussed issues related to this in the past maybe they have an answer for you

also this person had suggested that you may want to visit the LOCAL PAO office for advice(usually in the city hall offices)

2. change your SIM #

3. move away

do what you feel is best to PROTECT YOURSELF & your partner

[TexasRangersFan]

Update: 11/12/12

Confronted Rowena's family and found out what is going on.

First off my definition of Blackmail. When someone attempts to get money from another by way of threatening to cause harm to them.

Apparently this is not the first time this has happened.

It appears that Aunty has attempted blackmailing others in the past as well.

So far it has been with Pinoys only.

Her oldest sister was the first to find this out many years ago.

Older sister was living with a young pinoy and getting ready for their wedding when Aunty started her blackmail with his family. Ended the marriage and now older sister sneaks out to see her pinoy still. But lives at home. She now has 3 children by him. No money was recieved.

Her sister 1 year younger found this out as well.

Same as older sister only this one was pregnant. She moved back in with Mama and Papa and didn't get any money from her pinoy's family.

There is yet another sister who is in the process of getting married now to a pinoy and they are being subjected to similar blackmail as we are.

Rowena has 5 sisters. So far 4 have experienced the blackmail thing.

Aunty is trying to get money any way she can.

Aunty is the oldest of Papa's Siblings.

Her reasoning for attempting to blackmail us is to get money for her daughter who is a nurse at mactan hospital to become an OFW and go to America.

Mama and Papa claim to have no knowledge of all this. We don't believe them.

Found out that Aunty had sold property that belonged to all the siblings several months ago to pay for her son to become an OFW as well. She just didn't bother telling the rest of the family she was selling the property nor did she share the wealth. Now she is broke again. Most of Papa's Siblings live in the Manila area. None are happy with Aunty.

Found out that Aunty has been getting advice from a woman who claims to be an attorney. She is not tho. We confronted them all face to face last week. After consulting a real attorney who was suggested to us by the US Embassy.

Sound like some bad soap opera. It is. To me its sort of to be expected in a way here.

This is what we did.

First I emailed the US Embassy. Second I contacted my family here. ( have 4 generations of my fathers family including my father who have lived here. Some married and had children, 2 older generations of my mothers family, as well as my niece who married a pinoy 2 years ago.)

Third we went to the BI office and spoke to the director and showed him the Text messages.

US Embassy result. Email with a list of Amercano freindly attorneys here in Cebu.

BI office visit result. Was told to keep my Visa current and not worry. Also recieved my ACR-I card. Only waited for that since Aug. 28 two days before all this started. Seems the Card was there for several weeks at least waiting to be picked up. Altho they had said differently when I went in there the week before this.

Attorney visit results. While the laws do not say that I have to pay them any support at this time. The laws here are basically up to whatever judge we would see if we were to see a judge. However there is a process to be followed prior to that. And of course the assurance for us not to worry.

Result from contacting my family here. That may cost me more than just paying off her Aunt in the long run. However I do hate Blackmailers.

Then armed with the knowledge of the laws here and family by our side we confronted Rowena's Moma and Aunty and her wanna be attorney.

The result was interesting to say the least. Lots of name calling and threats to have me deported and file a complaint at the Consolate office here to stop the wedding unless we pay. Moma of course didn't say anything except that she was sorry and had no idea what was going on.

My response. I couldn't stop laughing. Why? This whole thing is so stupid I couldn't help myself.

My family's response. Well lets just say I had to drag the 4 of them out to their car. Fortunatly I am bigger then they are.

We then had a family sit down with Mama, Papa, Lolo and Sisters along with my family.

Result was we heard I am sorry about 50 times from her family. Except the second to youngest sister who found the whole thing extremely funny and laughed about it. Are they really sorry? Probably not.

Result from my family being there. Well lets just say they pursuaded her family to be a little more understanding. As well as informed them what would happen should any further misfortunes happen to us.

What did Rowena do? For a pint sized woman she sure is hard to hold back when she wants to hit someone. She was very hard on her family. To the point of trying to punch her Aunty.

Some on here may critisize her however one should remember that we can pick a lot of things we want in this life. Unfortunatly family is not one of those things. Loving ones parents and not liking them is common all around the world. Dealing with them can at times be complicated and dealing with ones emotions about that can be difficult as well.

What are we planning on doing now? Same as before. Not much differance really. Still planning on getting married. Have her paperwork ready just getting things taken care of with the US visa now is all. Who knows now that I have contacted my family here ( something I had wanted to avoid doing ) we might just marry here and stay. Ha Ha Ha.

What we did for her family. Just what we said we would do for them last month before the text messages. Helped pay their electric bill and bought them a couple bags of rice. We had already bought toys for Rowena's nieces and nephew for christmas this year ages from 3 to 6 back in November as well as for her two little brothers ages 10 and 15. So we will give them those this month. My family and I may help moma and papa out a little more this next month. Perhaps with starting a business there in Lapu Lapu and having them work for us.

For now we keep our gate locked and only tell the BI and the Embassy where we live. Other than that there is not a whole lot we can do.

For those who wonder why I am telling you all this the reason is simple. Not everyone knows what goes on here. Maybe I can help them to learn something. Maybe not.

[Jake]

Update: 11/12/12

Confronted Rowena's family and found out what is going on......

For those who wonder why I am telling you all this the reason is simple. Not everyone knows what goes on here. Maybe I can help them to learn something. Maybe not.

We appreciate you revealing your personal situation dealing with extended family issues.

Wow, talk about Filipino drama or OA (over acting) and their ability to laugh it off, in spite

of all the unnecessary hardships suffered by the innocent parties. The guilty party would

rather save face than to simply apologize. And guess what, they will continue to spread

bad tsimis (gossip) about you.

Please re-evaluate your situation and put your foot down. Get away from ground zero!

Respectfully -- Jake

[Thomas]

Confronted Rowena's family and found out what is going on.

Very well done!

But if I would have been you, I would probably have "blackmailed" some back :) =Tell I will not assist them with any business, if the family don't do their BEST to STOP the aunt, I mean I see it as Rowena's family's work to try PROPER to stop the aunt. =To get assist from you, they have to try to assist you with stoping the aunt...

This is a realy crap part of SouthEat culture, not confronting very bad behaviour... :bash:

(E g I know an Asian, who didn't even confront her sister, after she had pawn all family land used for OWN fancy living, now demanded her sibblings to pay to save the family land, "offer" to PERHAPS pay SOME back, still going on with her fancy living, still expecting to get her share of inherit when their heart ill mother will die, although she has STOLEN more than her share already!!!)

Edited December 11, 2012 by Thomas

[TexasRangersFan]

Update: 11/12/12

Confronted Rowena's family and found out what is going on......

For those who wonder why I am telling you all this the reason is simple. Not everyone knows what goes on here. Maybe I can help them to learn something. Maybe not.

We appreciate you revealing your personal situation dealing with extended family issues.

Wow, talk about Filipino drama or OA (over acting) and their ability to laugh it off, in spite

of all the unnecessary hardships suffered by the innocent parties. The guilty party would

rather save face than to simply apologize. And guess what, they will continue to spread

bad tsimis (gossip) about you.

Please re-evaluate your situation and put your foot down. Get away from ground zero!

Respectfully -- Jake

I agree some of them will continue. Jealousy is very common here (and her 1 sister is very very jealous). As is Greed. I'm not saying that it is any differant here than anywhere else on those things. Unfortunatly for me the laws here are rather vague and not always read as they are written.

Confronted Rowena's family and found out what is going on.

Very well done!

But if I would have been you, I would probably have "blackmailed" some back :) =Tell I will not assist them with any business, if the family don't do their BEST to STOP the aunt, I mean I see it as Rowena's family's work to try PROPER to stop the aunt. =To get assist from you, they have to try to assist you with stoping the aunt...

This is a realy crap part of SouthEat culture, not confronting very bad behaviour... :bash:

(E g I know an Asian, who didn't even confront her sister, after she had pawn all family land used for OWN fancy living, now demanded her sibblings to pay to save the family land, "offer" to PERHAPS pay SOME back, still going on with her fancy living, still expecting to get her share of inherit when their heart ill mother will die, although she has STOLEN more than her share already!!!)

There are some things that were said and done that I did not mention on here. As to what they were. I didn't hear a thing.