Checking Her Out

[i am bob]

I sometimes think that too many of us spend too much time not trusting any woman they meet! If you don't trust someone, why bother trying any further? You don't trust them now, and even if you have them checked out and the report comes back that they are more honest than you are, you still aren't going to trust them later! I think many of us need to grow up in our ideas of how to meet as well as how to treat women! Sure, dating sites in the Philippines are full of scammers. So are the dating sites in all other countries so to cry over being scammed just because it's a Philippine site is just rediculous!

Still there are other ways to meet online that aren't as "dangerous" as the well known dating sites! I met my Special Someone on a Pen Pal site in Cebu where there are a lot of women who can't afford to use an online dating site and/or just want to explore the world outside their own. Get caught asking for money there and you are deleted from the site. Instead of using online to meet, there are also tons of women who work in the malls, go to university, or maybe they work in a hospital, office, or even on a farm... Just say hello and see where things lead!

Does this mean you won't get scammed? About as much as it does in your own country... But for some reason, none of us ever seem to remember what happened at home...

[Jack Peterson]

:) I met Azon through Friends, at First she was very cautious towards me. She had a niece who married a Guy from Nth Dakota, I met him a couple of times after we first got together and he told me all about the Family.When they first met he never announced his arrival he just turned up one day and things turned out great, my meeting the niece certainly put any fears right out of my head I had few and those were soon forgotten that was 8 years ago. Azon was not one of the young hunters of cash. she was a down to earth lady, who had a life of her own already. she wanted a Loving Husband not a Rich Kano ( yes I know they all say that) and that is a good job, cos she got me. 2 hours with her Mama told me a lot about her. When I asked if I could marry Azon ( I am old fashioned on this sort of thing) she said to me have you a wife at Home? I said Oh no! not now, she said mm a lot of foreigners do I hear. I think the old girl was checking me out . Azon's daughter took to me quickly and the rest is History as they say. Over the years she has told me much about the Sites she and her niece used to visit. this Scamming thing works both ways of course. she kept emails from Guys she was never sure about, to try and catch them out ( so you see, the good ones, check us out too) [ all mail Deleted now] I actually met a girl I had been interested in a year before I met my wife, Gosh was I lucky to get out of that. This Girl had worked with Azon ( Dumaguete is a small place) and I soon uncovered a few home truths. she never knew who I was. I am so pleased i chose or was chosen by the right one. I have been so very Lucky, it is easy to meet girls/Ladies on line getting the right one is the hard part. I am sometimes a firm believer, in Gut Feelings and have to agree if i doesn't feel right move on. Meeting the family is to me a sure way of getting some truth (well apart from Culy's story. Bad family there. in the end) if you are not sure but then to me if you have any suspicions, again, Move on. I was lucky and met the right one I am sure a lot here will say the same.Not all will have the same luck I am sure but if I had to it all again I think I would know now what to look for in a Filipina, for a start I think I would turn the tables and tell them a hard luck story and see what the reaction would be. They are not all bad. Sorting the Wheat from the Chaff is never going to be easy. So take it easy out there. :thumbsup: To me Life is positive Hope those seeking can find the right one as a lot of us here have and most are trying to

Happy Jack P. :tiphat:

[FlyAway]

Should have mentioned this sooner. In a way I did have my lady checked out before meeting her. We started out as good old fashioned pen pals. Just a letter here and there. She was working in Hong Kong as a domestic help. Her number 1 priority from the start was to get her younger brothers and sisters through school. Her mother also got a Doctorate in Education.

Anyway, our writing relationship moved up to weekly chats on Yahoo Messenger. Never did she ask for any money. This continued for 3 years. One day a long time friends mother mentioned she was taking a vacation to Hong Kong. Well she meets up with her and they all have a good time. 4th year my mother decides to go on a group tour of Hong Kong. So now my mother meets her and they spend most of the time going around Hong Kong. Here I have not met her in person at all.

After 5 years, all the siblings are out of college. So I fly to Hong Kong to meet her face to face. Another story on how we ended up getting married. So the way I see it, I have 2 mothers giving approval.

and we have now been married 7 years.

[jode]

sometimes think that too many of us spend too much time not trusting any woman they meet! If you don't trust someone, why bother trying any further?

That is the point. You shouldn't trust anyone you meet here just based on superficial indicators like words and appearance or even sexual compatability. You try further because you are attracted to the person and you want to find out if the relationship is worth pursuing or if her intent is completely selfish. Personally I trust my girl completely. It doesn't mean I don't have my doubts if it will continue to work if i push the relationship further than it was meant to be.

There is no longer any need to be concerned over who she is texting or what she is doing online or her past or her intentions. That has come because she has passed dozens of tests and checks and overcome all my doubts and we have lived together for about a year and i know her completely, with many unfakeable moments of revelation about who she is and how she feels.

She understands my doubts and tolerated my tests because she knows her fellow filipinas and how many of them are. So she has made her life completely transparent to me since a month after we met online over 2 1/2 yrs ago, and continues to be totally open with me about everything. For instance in one check, I impersonated her on FB and talked to the only other foreigner she lived with, and know from his answers, everything she told me about him and her is true including that she was a virgin when she met him. That is the kind of investigating that leads to well founded trust not just taking a leap of faith.

Those kind of measures are maybe more than needs to be done if you are just coming here to meet ladies but if you are one of those who is totally gone for a girl and want to rush to the altar when you get here, then you better do your homework. As there are hundreds of stories of that going bad and leading to financial ruin or even worse.

I have made the same point in several posts and want to personally drop the subject and leave it for others to relate their experience. I pushed it because i was one who was totally gone for a girl and fell for alot of lies. Fortunately for me she wasn't really evil, but just a girl desperate for money, but who loved someone else. Also had several less painful but also only for the money results to relationships.

If you run into one of the really evil ones, they can strip all you have and gut you like a fish. With the law on their side here. Too many of us have had that kind of experience where we come from, to want to go through it again. That is especially sad because there are so many very good and loving ones here, they could have had instead. They just didn't bother to do their homework and were in a rush of desire like at one time I was.

Edited May 28, 2012 by jode

[shiredevon]

What we have to realise is that a lot of us are older non adonis types, so to expect a women to be sincere straight away is somewhat naive,

Most girls aren't looking for an old fat git like me but realise that if they can stomach you they're life's could improve dramatically, so a lot are only gonna go with you for that reason,

I might add however that a lot will also grow to love you in their own way and be honest and faithfull, problems arise if they're with you for the money and your circumstances change they'll drop you like a hot potato..

[bunny]

i met a guy who spent all his money just to move here for a girl he met online. when he arrived, he found out the girl had a boyfriend and was just using him to get through nursing school. poor guy. stories like this make me sad.... and i know it has something to do with how hard life here for some people is, but it's still just not right.

[joeatmanila]

I am sorry to whomever i might offend.

A man who needs to "investigate" his wife to be...no wonder why he is alone and he better remain as such.

Go get married an ex convict from your local jail in your own city. Guaranteed success. You get her detailed background for free from the police, on her slightest single misbehavior you can sue her or even throw her back to jail. She will cook, clean, make you feel DA MAN, iron your shirt, clean your drooling saliva, when you fart she will be replying "honey that was great, shoot one more", when you go to the bar she will be waiting with alcaselzers love and compassion for her drunk hubby to come...she will speak your language and she is all you deserve from a woman, cause you have no clue what a woman is.

If you still need to investigate your woman, my services are generously offered. A small fee upfront and the rest by the facts i will provide you.

[Mike S]

i met a guy who spent all his money just to move here for a girl he met online. when he arrived, he found out the girl had a boyfriend and was just using him to get through nursing school. poor guy. stories like this make me sad.... and i know it has something to do with how hard life here for some people is, but it's still just not right.

Two things wrong here ..... if he spent ALL his money just to move here it wouldn't matter if he found Mother Teresa as a companion it would not work out ..... you can't live on love alone ..... second of all .... if he was paying her way through nursing school and had never me her he is just plain not using his head or apparently has never read any info from this or any boards dealing with sending money or he would have read ...... NEVER ... NEVER .... NEVER ..... send money to someone you don't know personally .... had she been above board she would never have asked for money ..... and if you feel you just have to be Mr. Money-Ko only send what you can AFFORD to lose and don't ever expect anything in return ..... IMHO

[Fatcat]

cause you have no clue what a woman is

Please enlighten us.

[i am bob]

cause you have no clue what a woman is

Please enlighten us.

Sorry but I think Joe is right!

If a man feels the need to have a woman so fully investigated that he needs every single fact about her.... If he needs a woman who only does what he bids and tell him how good he is at everything he does - regardless if what he does is proper or not.... That is not a woman I would want to spend my life with!

Good post Joe!

:tiphat: