Dazed And Confused

[bobbyharmon]

I have only been involved with American women and aside from my wife who I lost a 15 years ago they have all been close to my age. Now I am thinking to move to the Philippines and most of the ladies I have been communicating with are in their early 20's. That’s over 45 years younger than me. It is really strange so many beautiful girls have an interest in me. I have read many sites on the Philippines and I am still dazed and confused. I have a nice pension and collect SS but I am far from rich. I could probably buy a house there but will most likely live simply just in case of emergencies. I have a couple of questions:

1. I know I can love a young girl as I hear they are so sweet and kind and take such good care of guys like me but will they love me sincerely and not try to take my money.

2. I heard from some guys that the girls families will want loans or will try and sponge on me. That I should move as far away from the family as possible Others say to become part of the family and help them

3. Some girls have asked for some money online. Not too much like $50. Should I send it to them or cross them off the list.

4. English seems to be a issue with some so can you have a relationship other than just smiling at each other

5. Am I thinking too much and just go with my gut. I honestly don't know if that will work with such a huge age difference. Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible. I just don't know

I would love to hear your opinions on what I might face and your experiences are so valuable. I know its asking a lot but I am really confused. I see myself falling for many girls so a filter would be great to narrow down to the right one. I guess I sound like a silly naive person. This is all new to me and I feel like a kid in a candy shop.

thank you for the help Bobby

[joeatmanila]

I have only been involved with American women and aside from my wife who I lost a 15 years ago they have all been close to my age. Now I am thinking to move to the Philippines and most of the ladies I have been communicating with are in their early 20's. That’s over 45 years younger than me. It is really strange so many beautiful girls have an interest in me. I have read many sites on the Philippines and I am still dazed and confused. I have a nice pension and collect SS but I am far from rich. I could probably buy a house there but will most likely live simply just in case of emergencies. I have a couple of questions:

1. I know I can love a young girl as I hear they are so sweet and kind and take such good care of guys like me but will they love me sincerely and not try to take my money.

2. I heard from some guys that the girls families will want loans or will try and sponge on me. That I should move as far away from the family as possible Others say to become part of the family and help them

3. Some girls have asked for some money online. Not too much like $50. Should I send it to them or cross them off the list.

4. English seems to be a issue with some so can you have a relationship other than just smiling at each other

5. Am I thinking too much and just go with my gut. I honestly don't know if that will work with such a huge age difference. Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible. I just don't know

I would love to hear your opinions on what I might face and your experiences are so valuable. I know its asking a lot but I am really confused. I see myself falling for many girls so a filter would be great to narrow down to the right one. I guess I sound like a silly naive person. This is all new to me and I feel like a kid in a candy shop.

thank you for the help Bobby

Welcome to the forum Bobby

All your questions are extensively answered if you just browse the topics of this forum.

Keep your pockets closed, your suspicions in alert, your eyes and ears wide open, seat there read and learn. BEFORE YOU TAKE OUT A SINGLE DOLLAR FROM YOUR POCKET!!!!

Just be sure that a 20's filipina is not dreaming a 65 mature full of experience daddy to show her the way in life....rather she waits for 65 years of savings and benefits to take her out of her misery or sponsor her next ipad....

[Jack Peterson]

I have only been involved with American women and aside from my wife who I lost a 15 years ago they have all been close to my age. Now I am thinking to move to the Philippines and most of the ladies I have been communicating with are in their early 20's. That’s over 45 years younger than me. It is really strange so many beautiful girls have an interest in me. I have read many sites on the Philippines and I am still dazed and confused. I have a nice pension and collect SS but I am far from rich. I could probably buy a house there but will most likely live simply just in case of emergencies. I have a couple of questions:

1. I know I can love a young girl as I hear they are so sweet and kind and take such good care of guys like me but will they love me sincerely and not try to take my money.

2. I heard from some guys that the girls families will want loans or will try and sponge on me. That I should move as far away from the family as possible Others say to become part of the family and help them

3. Some girls have asked for some money online. Not too much like $50. Should I send it to them or cross them off the list.

4. English seems to be a issue with some so can you have a relationship other than just smiling at each other

5. Am I thinking too much and just go with my gut. I honestly don't know if that will work with such a huge age difference. Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible. I just don't know

I would love to hear your opinions on what I might face and your experiences are so valuable. I know its asking a lot but I am really confused. I see myself falling for many girls so a filter would be great to narrow down to the right one. I guess I sound like a silly naive person. This is all new to me and I feel like a kid in a candy shop.

thank you for the help Bobby

:tiphat: Hi Bobby, Jack P just popping up to say hello, You are not the first and of course, you will not be the last to post like this. not sure I am the right person, to be the first to answer you, I am very biased to certain things. Age, well to me, it is of importance, the young girls will be led to a degree but older ones and maybe family, Whilst not always the case, there can be the mentality, of foreigner, rich man. until you meet a Girl/ Lady, for me, stay away from Sending any money. Start this and you could end up sending regularly with nothing on the end. Like you in the Sweet shop, just look for what you feel Comfortable with. i have a good family here, and yes I have of late, had a few problems with them.

We are Building and this opens another little situation, that some try and exploit. Then I have been with my Wife some years now so the Family are somewhat used to me., Yes families will expect you to cough up for their needs but as I have always told them, I will help you if Justified BUT! I will not be your ATM, But all this can only be after you have met the lady and her Family. Where possible try and get her family involved on Screen, if you are any Judge of character, You should be able to get a feel for the Life she leads. Families here can be a little overbearing on the ladies.

English is widely Spoken and what I think you have. is a fear of writing it. Did you try YM video link or Skype.? You will get a lot more response to questions if you can actually talk to a lady. Bobby what ever you do, stay away from married ladies, getting involved with one will just open a Bad can of worms for you right from the start. Trawling the forum will open your eyes to a lot of things, Don't pay too much attention to some of the topics of late we seem to have a few Unhappy members that feel it is all bad here. many of us have good lives and are totally happy with our lot, Integration is my key word,

Find a nice lady, there will be some nice ones at the age you will feel Comfortable with. Don't promise anything to soon and above all, try and keep your word on what you do promise. To sum it all up.( from me here just now) there really is only one person that can answer your Questions, That is you.You to need to ask them ( the ladies) the questions you would like to hear, a good answer to. I hope i have made a little sense here but just ask away if there is anything else you need after this, there will be a lot of help and advice coming your way I feel sure. BTW Are you planing to come soon

Take care and be happy, Regards jack P. :tiphat:

[Mike S]

Excellant posts so far guys with some very good information ...... I'm only going to touch on one subject which was already covered above but IMHO needs to be drilled into newbie's heads .... (no offense but this is usually where problems start) .....

GIVE OR SEND NO MONEY ....... think about ..... there is NO REASON TO ...... why should you send money to someone you have never met .... I don't care how little or how much .... does it sound cruel for someone who has an abundance to refuse someone who appears to have nothing ...... NO ...... it is only safeguarding any future relationship you may develop with the lady ..... if you begin to feel you are being used you probably are or if you are not then the seeds of doubt have already crept in and your relationship is finished ..... never once in all the years that I chatted on the net with quite a few ladies was I asked for money ...... you can usually tell right away if they are sincere or not ..... if after a couple of correspondences they suddenly start asking for money or other things than chances are they are just in the game for what they can get from you ..... the reason I say this is because as scammer doesn't have a lot of time to sit around and make bola bola to you .... she wants what she can get and move on to the next sucker .....

Next thought .... if you do develop a relationship after several months of constant communication and you show the lady you are rather weak and a push over she may try and push the envelope of opportunity and take advantage of your weaknesses ..... this has happened even though the couple stayed together she will rule the roost and if that is your thing than no problems ....

Also just remember with younger girls (not all of them by any means) are generally more inclined to do what their families tell them to especially if they still live at home as she will be under their direct supervision and control ..... so if they tell her to extract money from you she will more than likely try to ..... again this is by far not always the case .... and their are guys with ladies in their teens that are very happy ...... I'm just trying to pinpoint a few pitfalls that you COULD encounter on your road to happiness .....

I personally when looking for a partner tried to find a lady that was mature (not necessarily meaning age) who was not living at home with the entire family and works or had worked recently ..... and although it sounds harsh as I can't speak any Filipino she had to speak fairly good English ..... (yea I know selfish of me I know) but it is not much funny sitting across the table from a gorgeous lady and all you can do is smile at each other ..... I once heard a guy complain that he was damn tired of having to talk to his partner in 1st grade English ..... well my question to him would by "then why the h*ll did you hook up with her .... you knew that when you first met her she couldn't speak passable English"

Anyway just a few of my thoughts .... there are a LOT of good ... intelligent and loving Filipinas out there and they far out weight the bad ones .... just take your time and choose with your head at first and not your heart ..... that will come later down the road .... keep reading the board and ask questions I don't think any of us mind repeating info that has already been given here ...... so ask away ...... it's all good ....... :dance: :thumbsup:

Edited August 2, 2012 by Mike S

[Call me bubba]

Hello Bobby welcome to the Forum.

2. I heard from some guys that the girls families will want loans or will try and sponge on me. That I should move as far away from the family as possible Others say to become part of the family and help them

3. Some girls have asked for some money online. Not too much like $50. Should I send it to them or cross them off the list.

#2 How did they live before YOU($$) come into their lives?

How would extra $$ help improve their living situation? MY answer would be NO,

if and when You did, it should be very limited.

#3NO NO Never, cross her off if she is asking You,

who else could she be asking for $$$,it would start at Small amounts,

THEN ... suddenly,,, oh my (fill in the blank) is sick, my cat needs an operation,

my mole needs to be removed.

I need $$ to pay for my tuition as my wallet/purse was stolen, our house caught on fire/flooded out/earthquake damaged etc etc.

Allow me to post the links to other postings that could be of much use to you.

AND please Read about TRAVIS, his experience

http://www.philippin...ade/#entry49358

. that should be a MUST READ

http://www.philippin...ing-the-family/

http://www.philippin...the-family-tax/

http://www.philippin...family-members/

http://www.philippin...elp-the-family/

http://www.philippin...ic/12483-dowry/

http://www.philippin...horror-stories/

http://www.philippin...philippines/��= A woman who loved her husbands money

http://www.philippin...man-in-angeles/

http://www.philippin...ecking-her-out/

http://www.philippin...sing-it-back/�� = So you want to BUY a house

http://www.philippin...l-or-poor-girl/

Edited August 2, 2012 by Call me Bubba

[bobbyharmon]

Joe, Jack, Mike thank you, thank you, thank you!!! for taking the time to write. Your responses make absolute sense and I have already gone through many posts on the forum and its amazing but this place is really a goldmine of information. I even enjoy the heated talks as everyone has their opinions and I can still gleam stuff from those as well. There are so many different examples of what works and doesn't work and many common sense things to watch out for especially with money. I do look forward to the challenge of finding the right gal and enjoying my time in the Philippines. I hope to meet with some of you once I get over there. Thanks again.

[Jake]

I know its asking a lot but I am really confused.......I guess I sound like a silly naive person. This is all new to me and I feel like a kid in a candy shop.

thank you for the help Bobby

Hello Bobby,

Your title says it all -- DAZED and CONFUSED! On behave of my fellow members, many of us were exactly

in your shoes many beers ago.....he, he. Yeah, we were all silly and naive too! Except that you have taken

one important step in your master plan: joining the best forum in town and asking away without fear of being

silly. As you may have noticed, sometimes we will throw in some curve balls (humor) in trying to assist you.

Please jot down any questions that may come up while you gleam over the tons of information, comments

and suggestions. In fact, go to our X-rated joke section when you need to take a break.....he, he.

Here are a couple threads for starters:

http://www.philippin...-me/#entry68767 and http://www.philippin...__12#entry51837

Welcome aboard sir -- Jake

Edited August 2, 2012 by Jake

[earthdome]

If you use the online dating sites for filipinas or asians you will get bombarded with chat requests... etc.

I found that almost all of the filipinas that contacted me would quickly do one of two things... try to get me to signup for some sex webcam website... or quickly ask for money or strongly hint that they needed money for some hardship. I soon realized it was a waste of time to interact with the ones who contacted me.

What worked much better for me was searching and carefully reviewing their profiles... then initiate contact with good prospects. That worked much better for me...

and I found a nice single woman with a college degree and good english from what appears to be a good but modest family in a provincial capitol. We have now been chatting for over 2 months and she has never once asked me for money or even hinted that she needed my support for something. I have seen some of her family members on cam and have been on her facebook account. She seemed wary at first and it took a while to build up some trust between us. I will be visiting her and her family in late Sept. and we will see where things go from there.

[Mike S]

Excellent .... earthdome and might I just add for the benefit of others starting out in the online companion search if you are serious don't be a "cheap charlie" and spring for a membership that allows you to share more than just the basic information about yourself you will be greatly rewarded ........ write your profile with complete honesty and spell out exactly WHAT you are looking for in a companion and let them know right up front that you will not be supporting them or their family ..... learn just a few Tagalog words like di ba and oo and hindi (di ba - "right?" "isn't it?" or "don't you think?" ....... oo - yes ...... hindi - no) and use them in your profile ...... maybe some others if your brave enough ..... this will show the girls you are not totally ignorant of their culture or language (I used the Tagalog words because you maybe chatting to girls all over the Phils and 99% will understand some Tagalog) ..... you will be pleasantly surprised at how many undesirables this will weed out ...... now don't expect the girls to have more than just the basic accounts (however some will) as it costs by the month and many just don't have the extra money ...... :mocking: ..... good luck and happy chatting :cheersty:

[billten]

1. I know I can love a young girl as I hear they are so sweet and kind and take such good care of guys like me but will they love me sincerely and not try to take my money.

2. I heard from some guys that the girls families will want loans or will try and sponge on me. That I should move as far away from the family as possible Others say to become part of the family and help them

3. Some girls have asked for some money online. Not too much like $50. Should I send it to them or cross them off the list.

4. English seems to be a issue with some so can you have a relationship other than just smiling at each other

5. Am I thinking too much and just go with my gut. I honestly don't know if that will work with such a huge age difference. Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible. I just don't know

1. NO! Unless you meet the right girl you WILL get screwed (and not in a good way!)

2. YES, Move away, far far away...

3. CROSS THEM OFF!

4. NO! Communication is the basis of every relationship, what the hell do you think they see in you if they don't even understand what you are saying, move on.

5. I think your gut is dead on the money.

Seriously though, i'm sorry if my answers seem harsh, but they are honest. My suggestion is, GET OFF THE COMPUTER! Most of the girls who you meet online, not all its true, but most, are on there to try to hook a fish. Come here, have a holiday, meet lots of decent girls, review the forum, meeting decent ladies has come up many times. Maybe between your gut and being over here, you can meet your future, i know i did. Good luck...