Dazed And Confused

[i am bob]

I have only been involved with American women and aside from my wife who I lost a 15 years ago they have all been close to my age. Now I am thinking to move to the Philippines and most of the ladies I have been communicating with are in their early 20's. That’s over 45 years younger than me. It is really strange so many beautiful girls have an interest in me. I have read many sites on the Philippines and I am still dazed and confused. I have a nice pension and collect SS but I am far from rich. I could probably buy a house there but will most likely live simply just in case of emergencies. I have a couple of questions:

1. I know I can love a young girl as I hear they are so sweet and kind and take such good care of guys like me but will they love me sincerely and not try to take my money.

2. I heard from some guys that the girls families will want loans or will try and sponge on me. That I should move as far away from the family as possible Others say to become part of the family and help them

3. Some girls have asked for some money online. Not too much like $50. Should I send it to them or cross them off the list.

4. English seems to be a issue with some so can you have a relationship other than just smiling at each other

5. Am I thinking too much and just go with my gut. I honestly don't know if that will work with such a huge age difference. Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible. I just don't know

I would love to hear your opinions on what I might face and your experiences are so valuable. I know its asking a lot but I am really confused. I see myself falling for many girls so a filter would be great to narrow down to the right one. I guess I sound like a silly naive person. This is all new to me and I feel like a kid in a candy shop.

thank you for the help Bobby

Hello Bobby! (Do you go by Bobby or Bob?)

There have already been several excellent replies to you questions and I want to add another perspective for you to look at...

Young girls - In all my life I have only dated 1 woman older than I am and the rest have just gotten progressively younger. Maybe because I never grew up? Or that was just what I was looking for in life? I don't know but all were Canadian except for my last girlfriend (a beautiful Taiwanese woman who I actually went up in age for and was 17 years younger than I am) and my present girlfriend who is younger than my children. Yes, I do prefer women younger than I am but I have been trying for about 5 years younger - not 25! Go figure! But the one thing they have all in common? In one way or another they want my money... To buy a nice big house... Big car... Travel... Or so they don't have to work... Honestly - if she worked, wouldn't you want to use some of her money? I prefer to call this Sharing! Of course if she wants all of my money... !!!

Family loans... Some families are greedy... Some families are broke and desperately need help... Some families don't! Some families will love you and some will hate you... Sounds just like Florida, eh? (oops! There's the Canadian in me... hehe!)

Asking for money online... Yes, this is often bad. Sometimes (though rarely) it is a plea for help from the last person she would ask... All you can do is read close to the line, figure out the circumstances and decide if it's true or not... My girlfriend has told me a few times where she does not have the money for something (school, rent, etc) but I also know her family situation and how poor they are - as well as she gets very mad at me when I do (rarely) send money for something as she isn't asking for it but making a statement about the situation. If she was any other way, I wouldn't send any but I will never tell her that! So for all the girls out there, one thing to think about... If she can afford to go online and chat for hours with you, how broke is she? As a side note, I even had women in Canada asking me online for money so...

English is an issue for some... Those who complain about their girlfriends English either should help them get better at it (a little time for teaching rather than just staring at her?) or go and take lessons in the local language! It's their country, not ours! Why should they do everything on their own to make us happy?

Going with your gut... Yes, this is usually how we end up in relationships, isn't it? And when our gut says run, we should also listen! But then don't forget to listen to your gut when it says "Stay! This is the woman for you!"

Ok, so I am sometimes long winded - even on a keyboard... I just believe that, no matter where we are in this world, the "Relationship" questions are always the same - just that they appear a little different! The biggest thing you can do for yourself is to listen to what the women are saying and how they say it... You will usually find your answer there!

[brock]

Very good answers from everybody.

My little piece of advice is, If you are on a dating site, Be sure to put on your profile the whole truth about yourself and the kind of girl you are looking for, And also that under NO circumstances will you ever send money to them, until you have actually met them in person.

A 100% free site with thousands of girls looking for a husband is Dateinasia, But of course their are also lots of scammers on there as on all sites, just be careful.

[i am bob]

I do have one thought that many have not even suggested....

IF you meet somebody online, does it have to be a relationship right away? Why not just be friends? That was how I met my Special Someone... We were strictly penpals to start with while I was looking at the dating sites - and she knew it! I would sometimes mention what the latest dating site disaster tried to get away with and she would laugh at me and tell me I should find somebody more to my liking... After a few months I realized that she was more to my liking and she found the same in me... We have plans to be together once I finally get to Cebu but we both also realize that it will be once we meet if we truly are what we both want in life... Though I have to admit that I think I am hooked for life!

One other thought... Usually it is better to meet somebody for the first time in person, is it not? So what is wrong with waiting until the move is done before looking for someone?

[Julia]

I do have one thought that many have not even suggested....

IF you meet somebody online, does it have to be a relationship right away? Why not just be friends? That was how I met my Special Someone... We were strictly penpals to start with while I was looking at the dating sites - and she knew it! I would sometimes mention what the latest dating site disaster tried to get away with and she would laugh at me and tell me I should find somebody more to my liking... After a few months I realized that she was more to my liking and she found the same in me... We have plans to be together once I finally get to Cebu but we both also realize that it will be once we meet if we truly are what we both want in life... Though I have to admit that I think I am hooked for life!

One other thought... Usually it is better to meet somebody for the first time in person, is it not? So what is wrong with waiting until the move is done before looking for someone?

:th_thbestpost:

[Julia]

Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible

Hi, Bobby! still looking for a mature and responsible woman? got many single lady friends within that range --- the only challenge you will meet if you date these type of women though is that they are married to there profession,,,

but first I need to ask permission from JGF is I am allowed to do that here, I don't want to break any rules and regulations is this site you know... :cheersty:

[Jake]

Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible

Hi, Bobby! still looking for a mature and responsible woman? got many single lady friends within that range --- the only challenge you will meet if you date these type of women though is that they are married to there profession,,,

but first I need to ask permission from JGF is I am allowed to do that here, I don't want to break any rules and regulations is this site you know... :cheersty:

Hello Julia,

I don't think the Boss would frown upon your suggestion. However, I recommend you proceed privately

via PM to both Jimmy and your lady friends. If both mutually agree to communicate with each other (you

need to provide contact info), then I think it would be OK, rather posting on an open forum.

Respectfully -- Jake

[Julia]

Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible

Hi, Bobby! still looking for a mature and responsible woman? got many single lady friends within that range --- the only challenge you will meet if you date these type of women though is that they are married to there profession,,,

but first I need to ask permission from JGF is I am allowed to do that here, I don't want to break any rules and regulations is this site you know... :cheersty:

Hello Julia,

I don't think the Boss would frown upon your suggestion. However, I recommend you proceed privately

via PM to both Jimmy and your lady friends. If both mutually agree to communicate with each other (you

need to provide contact info), then I think it would be OK, rather posting on an open forum.

Respectfully -- Jake

maraming salamat, Jake! :thumbsup:

[Thomas]

Maybe I should look for a woman in her 40's or 50's and they will be more mature or responsible.

Still searching? One of my friends is a 58 year old widow Filipina, but full with energy and funny. She has RETIRED from being company consultant, because she got bored :)

Among other things, we talk about business problems in Phili. She said she want a husband as pay :hystery: (She joked, but she want one.)

[Curley]

My little piece of advice is, If you are on a dating site, Be sure to put on your profile the whole truth about yourself and the kind of girl you are looking for,

Then you find out that the majority just look at the pretty pictures and make contact......... they don't even read your well written profile!

[MacBubba]

Then you find out that the majority just look at the pretty pictures and make contact......... they don't even read your well written profile!

But the more discerning ones will read on.