She Is Ashamed Of Me....?

[i am bob]

In the past (while trying the online dating thing), I would sometimes be chatting with a young woman who, when I paid them a compliment, would respond with how she would be ashamed. I thought nothing of it at the time, just a way of using words. After all, some of these women were not that familiar with English. But my Special Someone does this as well. When I have done something special for her, she will be "ashamed of me". A good example is I sent her a gift - I paid her tuition for her next term at school. It's not expensive at all! What Philippine tuition costs, I think I may go back and get a Doctorate. But having done this for my Special Someone has made her "ashamed of me" - with lots of online hugs and kisses!

So, my question to all those brave and knowledgeable souls out there.... Is this just a cultural thing? Or is it a language thing? Or do I really shame her?

I am soooo confused!!!

[Jack Peterson]

she will be "ashamed of me".

Bob! what this means is, she will be embarrassed, nothing Sinister, Philippinos, get ashamed to speak English in case they make mistakes,

Its a Cultural thing.

[i am bob]

Thanks Jack!

I hadn't really thought about it that much until reading Earthdome's adventures recently. It kind of made me stop and wonder if maybe I wasn't seeing the whole picture either. I have to admit that I was thinking the same as you posted but I did want to see what others thought too.

:tiphat:

[Old55]

Sometimes when Filipinos are unsure how to react or an inability to respond to a kindness or other like situation they can become "I am shy" or "I am ashamed" it's more or less a Face thing but not in a bad way. I would guess she is pleased, but you put her in a positon that she is unable to reciprocate.

[earthdome]

Sometimes when Filipinos are unsure how to react or an inability to respond to a kindness or other like situation they can become "I am shy" or "I am ashamed" it's more or less a Face thing but not in a bad way. I would guess she is pleased, but you put her in a positon that she is unable to reciprocate.

I have also heard "pity myself". Would that be the same thing?

[Jack Peterson]

Sometimes when Filipinos are unsure how to react or an inability to respond to a kindness or other like situation they can become "I am shy" or "I am ashamed" it's more or less a Face thing but not in a bad way. I would guess she is pleased, but you put her in a positon that she is unable to reciprocate.

I have also heard "pity myself". Would that be the same thing?

My wife uses this sometimes, usually when she has done a foo par, ie; paid more in one shop and found it cheaper elsewhere. she will say I pity myself. Other times she uses the phrase in it's right context, I pity the children down the road, they have no food. maybe it is just a little understood word, when used against themselves.

:tiphat:

[cebu rocks]

Another one is ambitious which is a good thing but not to Filipinos it means they are ambitious to gain advantage of something or someone . We use the same words with different meanings all the time .

[Dr. Cockroach]

"but you put her in a positon that she is unable to reciprocate"

That's exactly what she meant. It's the cultural way of saying how much she appreciated the gesture!

[Dougbert]

My GF has said similar things when I give her something or offer to do so. I take it as a good sign (she isn't asking you for it and is embarrassed by your generosity), but it can be confusing the first time you hear it. Old55 hits the nail on the head.

[MikeeW]

I have noticed there are dozens of expressions used here that are the result of being taught to respond in a certain way. Not much different than what is learned in your own homeland, as the case may be. Remain your shoes, for a while, she has a kidney, he has high blood, open the light and the list goes on. Oddly, there are expressions and words which are almost too correct. I was unfamiliar with the term mendicant, though I had seen many. I had a sales person tell me the company had sent the issue I had on to another....what you and I would call "passing the buck". The word he used was it has been "escalated". There is so much memorizing of english expressions that getting close is a lot like hand grenades. So, escalate translates to elevate. Remain your shoes could also be said, leave them outside. Open a switch is surely a lot less of a mouthful than turn on the switch. It all makes sense after a while. More Power.