Finding The Place You Think Is Right

[Americano]

Hi Steve,

How old is Emma's brother and is he in good health and able to work? If he's old enough to work and able to work but refuses to work because he's lazy then I would do my best to not give him anything. Supporting a lazy person who refuses to work only adds to the problem.

Find a way to pay the father's bills if necessary directly without a chance of the brother getting his hands on the money. If the father can't trust his son alone in the house then how could he trust him with money?

[bows00]

Remember if you help your brother in-law, it is like giving a drunk a drink.

[Dave Hounddriver]

If your extended family is anything like mine then you cannot give anything to the father without him giving most of it to the brother in law, even if he is a bum. We had to cut off support to a very dear old auntie because everything we gave to her, she gave to 'welfare bum' type relatives and then went hungry herself. I can only guess at the mentality that permits her to do that and then say we are cheap because we do not give her enough. Now we give her nothing. (BTW I say 'we' but this is all my wife's doing and decision. I just give money, or not, as directed by 'she who requests'.

[stevewool]

the cash has been sent to her dad under strict condistion, so much for the nieces and nephews, and then the bro, and the rest for himself, i know it will be hard for him to keep any himself, Ems got a message from her bro but it was ment for another of his sisters, hay sis i thought you was giving me 2000 peso and a phone, well you know what my words would have been, time to have a stern word with Ems, but i must admit she will always ask if i can send this and that,lets hope it stays that way