Corporal Punishment

[Call me bubba]

This topic is LONG OVER DUE. :AddEmoticons04230:

as we have discussed everything from cheap throw away tickets, to what is the best rice or place to eat,....etc etc......

As some FM are parents and our way of "discipline" may not "fit the norm"

of how the locals may or may not accept.

by US discussing what we do & how we do it

MAYBE just Maybe it will PREVENT 1 of us(FM) of being seen as a "ABUSIVE" parent or having a CONFLICT w/the local Brgy or police.

Hope that some of the local FM will share w/us what is acceptable ways to "discipline" our children

w/out earning the IRE of being a "bad or abusive"parent.

not all of us in this forum has a partner(wife/gf) to share in the discipline of our children.

As for me I am a single parent, and I feel i must be double careful in how I deal w/my children

(10yo,3yo) any suggestions,tips,hints .....etc.... is appreciated :999:

Edited December 30, 2012 by Pittman apartments Sgn

[stevewool]

me being a parent of 5 kids, 3 of my own and 2 adopted i have a little experiance, its hard let me tell you but i think, no i know i have done very well, when the kids where very young a tap on the bottom did work but once they become older that when the problems start, you dont what them to feel threatened or even afraid of you but you have to be firm and sticking to what you have said also,i have never ever sworn infront of my kids its wrong when all you hear is swearing and shouting at kids it makes my blood boil when i see it happen especially when they are babies and dont even understand,so to sum it up how i brought my kids up, lots of love shown to all, a firm hand if it goes t*t* up and most important is to talk to each other and listern

[i am bob]

I was lucky with my daughter - she was the perfect angel! Now my daughter (born with Spina Bifida, Hydrocephalus and something else resembling Cerebral Palsy) was often given things when shopping - candy, earrings, a woman once chased us through the mall with a dress she bought for my daughter. But one day when she was around 4 or 5 she was being a little sassy. She wanted gum and I told her "NO". Well, she told me - in a haughty tone - that she was going to get some and there was nothing I could do to stop her. It just so happened that I was carrying her in my arm at the time (rather than her wheelchair) so I told her if she didn't stop, she would get a spanking. "You won't spank me!" she dared. So I did. Rather I slapped my bare arm that was carrying her. Her eyes got big, the tears were flying everywhere and she just sobbed over and over "YOU SPANKED ME!" The looks I got from everybody in that mall for the next 30 minutes until she could finally stop crying... I was lucky to be alive! And the funny thing is this - my daughter can't feel anything below the waste so she couldn't tell I just slapped my own arm, she only heard the sound of the slap! But that was the first and last time my daughter ever had to be punished in any way!

Now my twin sons? Let's put it this way - they always introduced each other as their evil twin. Bad - sometimes. Evil - definitely not! While they were in diapers and being bad, I would cup the palm of my hand and gently swat their diapers. Kind of like clapping with one hand. They hear the noise and they knew. Once they were out of diapers? It was stand in the corner for how ever long was declared. No moving. No talking. No looking. Once that time was reached, punishment was almost over - we would sit down and carefully discussed what the action was that they were punished for, why it was bad to do that action and how the person on the other end of their actions felt because of them. My ex and I would ask the question and they had to provide the answers to show that they understood. Sometimes a couple more questions were needed for them to understand. And the punishment was always concluded with them going to make right what it was they had done wrong - be it an apology, giving somebody else a certain toy to play with, etc. My sons have grown up to be accepted by their community as both fine, honest and brave lads who would defend the honour of those younger, weaker or in danger of any form. So maybe my form of discipline while they were younger actually worked? I like to think so...

[Thomas]

Now of course Corporal Punishment is a thing of the past, illegal and considered, abuse and /or assault. Has any one else ever come across this ? I have always said a good clip around the ear from parents and family, could help sort out, our local Kids, many, without a little discipline, something surely Lacking, that could, be put right. in fact

It's needed with very few - at least if crapy inconcistent parents aren't in sight :mocking: destroying efforts to make the child changing to good behaviour by TALKING with them... (Some kids need GRABING to make them listen until it's solved.)

Who would decide WHO would get Corporal punnishment?? A big part of at least the Swedish teachers are crap at judging, concentrating at nagging about LOW important things as thewinggum and caps, but most DON'T even try to stop bullying!!! Often they even find the VICTIM being the guilty one, if they lost patience and talked BACK to the bullies!!! :angry:

(It was a while ago, but I have been both youth group leader and substitute teacher, and it's common students are "expected" to be extra naughty and loud when they have substitute teachers :mocking: Mostly I had made them behave good short after the lunch break mostly by NOT "fight" them, but by make the majority find it to noicy, so THEY make noicy ones quiet, after I have initiated the THOUGHT "Can't we have more fun than just have noice?"...

Bullying in the group I could stop fast too by saying:

-It's only allowed to bully ME :hystery:

and then be concistent with that. They find that funny, trying that INSTEAD, but they soon noticed it wasn't any fun to try to bully me, because mostly I just ignored and sometimes I made them lose face so the other students laught at them who tried to bully...

One time it took A BIT longer time, but still solved the FIRST DAY (with a few laps, needing reminding). It was in a school, where the whole school establishement was making a petition trying to get rid of a 12 year old student. 2 hours after lunch break I had made him behave GOOD. I found out he was ONLY bored, because he was much more clever than the others, he would have suit better with 2 year older students... That "impossible" student even asked in the end of the first day, if I could be their permanent teacher! (But I were substitute teacher just waiting at I would move to an other city.)

But I had disciplin problems with 7 year old school classes, because I found their naughtyness to funny :hystery:

[Thomas]

me being a parent of 5 kids, 3 of my own and 2 adopted i have a little experiance, its hard let me tell you but i think, no i know i have done very well, when the kids where very young a tap on the bottom did work but once they become older that when the problems start, you dont what them to feel threatened or even afraid of you but you have to be firm and sticking to what you have said also,i have never ever sworn infront of my kids its wrong when all you hear is swearing and shouting at kids it makes my blood boil when i see it happen especially when they are babies and dont even understand,so to sum it up how i brought my kids up, lots of love shown to all, a firm hand if it goes t*t* up and most important is to talk to each other and listern

Exactly. Something like that.

Most parenting failures (when loving the kids) depend of INCONCISTENCY, even "promoting" BAD behaviour by GIVING them candy/new toy or what they are shouting for, just because the parent had said "No, not today" to make them becoming quiet. Not odd the child missbehave next time too... :hystery: