Disparaging Comments & Flat Out Rudeness In Manila

[GregZ]

I have previously stated that WE (me & my Filipina) had not experienced much, if any, negativity from folks here in the Philippines regarding our relationship as a couple. Well, that was Cebu City.

Here in Manila, nearly every time we go out together there are glares, stares and comments. I largely ignore glares and stares. Just curiosity about the tourist attraction (ME)!? Alone I get the same looks... and I get a few comments about how much money I have and how I need to share it with everyone. That is fine... and expected in part. I just WISH it were TRUE. :540:

There is an attitude of expectation though that goes beyond that. If I don't buy the wallet or belt or sunglasses there is an anger issue... very disconcerting at times. I NEVER stop on the street here to look at anything when by myself or with my girl. It makes me a target and moving targets are harder to hit.

That all said, I generally discount any negative events because my life is too short to let other people's 'issues' bring me down. HOWEVER, recently WE were walking on the street and a guy we are passed said something. My sweet, timid Taring responds with words that I cannot repeat here. He said something to the effect of, "Got you an American. How does it feel?"

Ignorance is bliss, and I prefer to remain blissful. But, my curiosity got to me and I asked how often she hears things like that. :1 (103): It is WAY too often for me; nearly every time we go out. I've just never noticed because she largely ignored it or just rolled her eyes or gave some other non-verbal response. It is in Tagalog, so I don't understand and didn't realize until now.

Do YOU have similar experiences? Where in the Philippines are you? What other thoughts can my buddies here share with me on this subject? I'm ready to go back to Cebu City... just when I was starting to like Manila. I am stuck here until at least June though... so maybe I should just stay inside the condo complex until then? Nah, I'm gonna live my life.

[Bruce]

As for people staring at you... you do realize (I hope you realize) that there are red lip stick marks all over your face!

Out on Samar when I would be out in public with one of the helpers who is about 15, men would ask if she was my wife and I would explain that nooo, I am a sponsor for her studies ... But in Waray (their native language) comments would be made to her about me and suggar daddy and sex and things that I was unaware of but would make her angry.

But it is human nature and i am not going to waste my time and efforts to explain reality to each and every one! So I just smile and ignore things.

[JJReyes]

Yes. I had lost my Pilipino language abilities after a prolonged absence, but it's beginning to come back due to frequent visits. Since I don't look typically Pilipino, I have fun listening to conversations when they don't think I understand the language. Any disparaging comments about an older foreign national and a younger Filipina includes a strong hint of envy. The example in Tagalog is, "The Kano has no taste, I am prettier than her." The friends respond by laughing.

More fun for me is my associate, who has white hair and a US Marine Corp emblem tatooed on his arm. It happens while walking or seating in a restaurant. I am amazed how many bold, young girls approach him. The opening questions are, "How old are you?" "Are you married?" Another classic line is, "Are you collecting Social Security?" Noticing the emblem, "Military retired?" This is out-and-out solicitation! Forgotten are words like, "Hi. My name is ...." Now, they never ask me. Everyone seems to know I am married. Maybe they spot my pot belly from a distance and immediately realize I have been happily married for more than forty years.

My associate had to die his hair black for an Independent Film (all the foreigners are villains oppressing some tribal group). His comment is the young girls no longer approach him because he looks too young.

Edited January 23, 2013 by JJReyes

[lyno 47]

I am 6,3 in bare feet with shoes a little taller when at the malls people look at me all the time not sure why maybe the height or just coz i am ugly i do get asked politely how tall i am sometimes little kids just stare and look up at me from behind there mom cheers lyno

[OnMyWay]

I am living in a poor (lower middle class?) neighborhood in Laguna and I don't have to deal with street vendors much. When we go to an area where there are some, they don't seem that aggressive. The few times I suspected a rude remark, it was from younger boys, but maybe there have others I am not aware of. My girlfriend can get upset about things like that but I don't recall her telling me about an incident when we were out somewhere.

One theory might be that if you are in an area where they have bars and bar girls, some locals might assume you are with a bar girl and make a rude comment due to that???

At 6'2", I do stick out like a sore thumb, so I am used to the staring, but here in our neighborhood I think everyone has gotten used to me. Yesterday, we were at Asian Hospital in Alabang, and in the elevators the doors have mirrors on the inside. So I'm standing in the back of the crowded elevator, staring at my big head in the mirror, towering above everyone else, mostly small women, and I think "I am freaking giant!" I also noticed that the little old lady in front of me needs Rogaine really urgently! :hystery:

[bootleultras]

I think we all get stared at a lot..... I do, mostly because of my overly white complexion !!

In my place i definitely get the stares but they are more curious ones than malicious in any way and of course the obligatory " hey Joe" quite a lot but nothing out of the ordinary.

I think Manila is a whole different cup of tea though....its a lot more aggressive of a place than anywhere else I go in every aspect, that is the more you go into Manila proper eg Pasay, Ermita, Quiapo etc

Obviously the likes of Makati & Quezon City, well at least Eastwood & Fairview are more laid back due to the sheer number of tourists these days, I cannot recall ever hearing any comments when Ive been walking with my wife & I understand a fair bit of the lingo too.

I would just laugh it off each time as they're probably just jealous as was mentioned before and either wish they had your money (which none of us really have anyway!) or they are wishing they were on your arm rather than your wife!

[GregZ]

In my place i definitely get the stares but they are more curious ones than malicious in any way and of course the obligatory " hey Joe" quite a lot but nothing out of the ordinary.

I think Manila is a whole different cup of tea though....its a lot more aggressive of a place than anywhere else I go in every aspect, that is the more you go into Manila proper eg Pasay, Ermita, Quiapo etc

... just jealous as was mentioned before and either wish they had your money (which none of us really have anyway!) or they are wishing they were on your arm rather than your wife!

Your area descriptions sound about right... I'm in Pasay. Back in Cebu I got "hey Joe" and "thank you" quite a bit, so I miss that for the replacement.

Here, a lot of the problem is that familiarity breeds contempt. We are living in the 30 floor building so must have money and the pedi-cabs outside want my business, but we walk everywhere. So the more they see us.... you know. Since I am sustaining an extra household here things are kind of tight; in the end I'm with you on the jealously thing... wish it wasn't like that.

One theory might be that if you are in an area where they have bars and bar girls, some locals might assume you are with a bar girl and make a rude comment due to that???

At 6'2", I do stick out like a sore thumb, so I am used to the staring, but here in our neighborhood I think everyone has gotten used to me.

No bars around me that I know of... I think that like I stated above, the same guys keep seeing me... lots of gossip here I'm sure.

I'm 6' so I'm glad you have to deal with the other 2" over me. In our neighborhood back in Cebu they are used to me and everyone knows my Taring... she has 2000 cousins there (...almost). I go walking by myself a lot THERE, for exercise, and NEVER have had any problem or felt uncomfortable/unsafe. I am in pretty good shape so that is a good deterrent in itself.

[brock]

I have had lots of comments,Like hey joe can I f**k your daughter.and you are rich do you have a big c**k,,But my wife doesnt explain to me until we are well away from the people, Which is probably a good thing really or I would be getting myself into a lot of trouble.

I think their is a lot of racial abuse and rudeness towards the foreigners, Some people just close their eyes and ears to it.

[Jollygoodfellow]

Never been to Manila but have heard the same sort of things many times about the people in Manila are not as friendly as other places. Could be just a big city thing and maybe the provinces are different. Wash your face and see if that makes a difference.

:crack-up:

[Call me bubba]

I think their is a lot of racial abuse and rudeness towards the foreigners, Some people just close their eyes and ears to it.

omg, you mean that the some philippine people are RACIST and RUDE?? say that cant be.

after living here all this time, I have become DEAF to things that I are said,

what is HARD AS hell is to explain to my child that these things exist from her own country-men/women/children and it does happen elsewhere but,

how does your child reacts or feels these things?we know how our wife/gf/partner feels......

how do we make them feel that its NOT the kano(father) that causes these remarks

but the SIMPLE-mindedness(ignorance) of the natives? (i would use stupidity but i have refrain from using this word to describe the locals),

i post this as some of us have children and they see.sense.feel things that we dont.