Advice From Someone On The Ground In The Philippines

[paul]

Now, on any forum or group, you have to take the advice for what it's worth. In this case it's my advice - meeting Filipinas.Where should you meet Filipinas? Should you meet them on the Internet? I mean, after all, you may not get another chance to hook up with a girl after you have arrived in the Philippines. (This may be true, but not for the reasons you believe.)Guys, don't go wasting your time meeting girls on line. Trust me. You can get off the plane, enter the terminal, and before leaving there meet a girl, if that is what you want. However, if you want to relax before heading out to meet a girl, then just don't get any numbers before you are checked into your hotel and have had time to have a shower and a sleep. The reason I tell you this is, quite often, you may meet girls who really, honestly, aren't worth your time once you come to the Philippines. You will... and I mean will meet other girls after arriving here. But, once you have hooked up with them, they may keep the strings so tight on you while you are here, that you will not have the time to meet another girl anywhere. Believe me when I say, they know why not to let you out of their site when you are with them. They are scared that another Filipina will snatch you up. And, in a heartbeat, they may very well do just that! A member of my forums, who had hooked up with "the" perfect Filipina, later found out that she wasn't exactly the perfect one for him. He was fortunate enough to find this out before he swapped "I do's" with her. I have been living here since 2002, January. I have been coming here since 1992, January. I am definitely not new to the Philippines, certainly not to Cebu and the Visayas. So, I may know a little bit about this topic. Of course, the choice is yours. Paul

[Mr Lee]

I will label mine advice from someone who is on the ground part of the year because we spend 3 to 4 months a year living in the Philippines and therefore I may have a different prospective than Paul.I have met an awful lot of expats in the Philippines and in the USA who found good ladies via the Internet, I personally think it is a good idea to at least try some of the dating sites and to make sure to put in your profile that you want someone for you and not someone who wants a meal ticket or who wants a visa to another country, The main thing is to be honest with them and lay out exactly what you expect and what you seek in a lady.Maybe some others on here would like to comment on how they met their ladies or maybe Boss man can start a poll. I know I met my wife via letters long before there was an Internet and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and a fantastic wife. Yes, there will always be cultural differences that cause minor problems but that is a lot better than anything I ever experienced being married to or dating a woman from my own country.

Edited April 15, 2009 by Mr. Lee

[Mr Lee]

I would like to add to my last post. From what I have seen, there are many different types of people who go to the Philippines. A few types are, the people who seek a wife for a hopefully long and happy future and they want to take them back to their own countries. Then there are people who seek to marry a lady and live within the Philippines. Then there are people who seek a long time live in gf to live in the Philippines with them. Then there are those who go to the Philippines and seek to just play around. Then there are those who seek women to play around with, but want some type of relationship, but do not ever want any commitment. I am sure there are many more types but if you are one of the above, my advice would be to seek information from someone who is in the same category. IMO a person who likes to play around cannot give a person who seeks a long time wife good advice, and a person who is happily married and does not fool around, cannot give a person who only seeks to fool around advice, and so on and so on. JMHO.added BTW, no insult meant to Paul, and he is correct in one thing for sure, do not let a lady latch onto you totally. You should not even tell them the exact date that you will be arriving, but it is always good IMO to carry on a long time relationship over the Internet and get to know someone for months via web camera and talking, than just to meet and try to get to know someone in a few days or weeks. Meeting ladies here in person is easy, but it takes time to get to know the true person and the time on the Internet helps IMO. I know that I learned a lot about my wife in letters and on the phone before actually meeting her and then spending weeks in the Philippines getting to know her in person.

Edited April 16, 2009 by Mr. Lee

[paul]

I will label mine advice from someone who is on the ground part of the year because we spend 3 to 4 months a year living in the Philippines and therefore I may have a different prospective than Paul.I have met an awful lot of expats in the Philippines and in the USA who found good ladies via the Internet, I personally think it is a good idea to at least try some of the dating sites and to make sure to put in your profile that you want someone for you and not someone who wants a meal ticket or who wants a visa to another country, The main thing is to be honest with them and lay out exactly what you expect and what you seek in a lady.Maybe some others on here would like to comment on how they met their ladies or maybe Boss man can start a poll. I know I met my wife via letters long before there was an Internet and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and a fantastic wife. Yes, there will always be cultural differences that cause minor problems but that is a lot better than anything I ever experienced being married to or dating a woman from my own country.

The guy from the UK, who was recently murdered, met his girl on the internet. I never, ever suggest for guys to meet any woman on the internet, ever. Back when you met your wife, it was a different world, Lee. Come here and meet them in person. I will always offer that advice.

[Mr Lee]

I will label mine advice from someone who is on the ground part of the year because we spend 3 to 4 months a year living in the Philippines and therefore I may have a different prospective than Paul.I have met an awful lot of expats in the Philippines and in the USA who found good ladies via the Internet, I personally think it is a good idea to at least try some of the dating sites and to make sure to put in your profile that you want someone for you and not someone who wants a meal ticket or who wants a visa to another country, The main thing is to be honest with them and lay out exactly what you expect and what you seek in a lady.Maybe some others on here would like to comment on how they met their ladies or maybe Boss man can start a poll. I know I met my wife via letters long before there was an Internet and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and a fantastic wife. Yes, there will always be cultural differences that cause minor problems but that is a lot better than anything I ever experienced being married to or dating a woman from my own country.

The guy from the UK, who was recently murdered, met his girl on the internet. I never, ever suggest for guys to meet any woman on the internet, ever. Back when you met your wife, it was a different world, Lee. Come here and meet them in person. I will always offer that advice.

Paul, the guy from the UK is just one guy who may or may not have gotten to know the lady for any length of time........ We all have different points of view or opinions and you have been living in the Philippines for a while so yours may be different than mine, but not everyone has the time to spend months in the Phils trying to get to know someone.................... I could rattle off many names who met on the Internet and are very happy with their ladies, so it can go either way.............. My point is that if a person spends enough time getting to know a lady on the Internet and a web cam, then they at least have some idea who they are and what they are about and IMO, those people have a leg up on people who just meet in person........... I think your idea may be better suited for people who are moving to the Phils or those who will be staying for months and not weeks. JMHO

[paul]

Paul, the guy from the UK is just one guy who may or may not have gotten to know the lady for any length of time........ We all have different points of view or opinions and you have been living in the Philippines for a while so yours may be different than mine, but not everyone has the time to spend months in the Phils trying to get to know someone.................... I could rattle off many names who met on the Internet and are very happy with their ladies, so it can go either way.............. My point is that if a person spends enough time getting to know a lady on the Internet and a web cam, then they at least have some idea who they are and what they are about and IMO, those people have a leg up on people who just meet in person........... I think your idea may be better suited for people who are moving to the Phils or those who will be staying for months and not weeks. JMHO

I think it's more than that, Lee. In the thread I posted on about the Brit today, I feel as though it has a lot to do with each guy's ability to judge good character. In having lived here for so long now, and having learned much of the language and how to "read" Filipinas more, of course I have honed skills that a new guy may not have. But, I think that most of these guys, like that 61 year-old Brit, for example, was using the wrong head when he made that decision. (Please read my recent post on "another forum", regarding that.) But, no matter where they live with the girl, or for how long, is irrelevant. Either way, perhaps we should agree to disagree, as my mentor, G. Gordon Liddy would say.

[ancienrocka]

Maybe you're both right and both wrong.Among the many girls I talked to on the internet, two had a major effect of my life.1. This one was a scammer who took me for a lot of money and left me waiting at the airport for her plane which never arrived. Paul knows the story because I asked for his help when he had Pointman. So Paul's right!2. This girl was just a good friend for 2 years with no real romantic side to our relationship at all. I met her when I came to Cebu and after 18 months getting to know each other, she is now my wife - So Lee's right!IMHO there is no "right" answer to the problem. It is not a "black and white" issue - every story is more a shade of grey. What works for one, is a disaster for another.We can continue this discussion on the 25th as we will all be there! A few beers will either produce more entrenched positions or a desire to compromise - I wonder which.

Edited April 16, 2009 by ancienrocka

[Mr Lee]

 I agree Paul that we both can be wrong or correct but that is my point, ruling out the Internet would mean that you never would have met Elsa...... IMO it is the guy and what he says and what he does that can sometimes make the difference and sometimes not....... I have no idea what went wrong with the other girl in your life but I have been told many times before, it is often the first guy who gets there and not the one who gives them money, or is the nicest to them, but of course this does not hold true for all women......All I am saying is to try to meet a few from the Internet unless you are going to be in the Philippines for a long time and even then, it cannot hurt to meet some on-line IMHO.I am not home, so I do not have a fast connection, but I would like to see an honest poll of guys who met their ladies on the Internet and guys who met them in person and IMO it will all balance out......... No way is perfect and there are some great scammers out there on the Internet, but there are also some great ladies and I met two a few weeks ago who are the sisters of a friends wife and they are looking for good husbands, and I can tell you that they are not scammers because my wife and I have talked to them for a long time and they are quite sincere, but I will not introduce them to anyone unless I know them personally for a while and know they are good people and actually looking for a wife.

[Jollygoodfellow]

I agree Paul that we both can be wrong or correct but that is my point, ruling out the Internet would mean that you never would have met Elsa...... IMO it is the guy and what he says and what he does that can sometimes make the difference and sometimes not....... I have no idea what went wrong with the other girl in your life but I have been told many times before, it is often the first guy who gets there and not the one who gibes them money, or is the nicest to them, but of course this does not hold true for all women......All I am saying is to try to meet a few from the Internet unless you are going to be in the Philippines for a long time and even then, it cannot hurt to meet some on-line IMHO.I am not home, so I do not have a fast connection, but I would like to see an honest poll of guys who met their ladies on the Internet and guys who met them in person and IMO it will all balance out......... No way is perfect and there are some great scammers out there on the Internet, but there are also some great ladies and I met two a few weeks ago who are the sisters of a friends wife and they are looking for good husbands, and I can tell you that they are not scammers because my wife and I have talked to them for a long time and they are quite sincere, but I will not introduce them to anyone unless I know them personally for a while and know they are good people and actually looking for a wife.

The first girlfriend that I met from the Internet and later in person is one of the good ones who is not out to scam anyone.She is completely honest and when we did meet in person it was exactly how she had told me.I still talk to her every now and then. NOT all are scammers.

[Mr Lee]

Paul, the guy from the UK is just one guy who may or may not have gotten to know the lady for any length of time........ We all have different points of view or opinions and you have been living in the Philippines for a while so yours may be different than mine, but not everyone has the time to spend months in the Phils trying to get to know someone.................... I could rattle off many names who met on the Internet and are very happy with their ladies, so it can go either way.............. My point is that if a person spends enough time getting to know a lady on the Internet and a web cam, then they at least have some idea who they are and what they are about and IMO, those people have a leg up on people who just meet in person........... I think your idea may be better suited for people who are moving to the Phils or those who will be staying for months and not weeks. JMHO

I think it's more than that, Lee. In the thread I posted on about the Brit today, I feel as though it has a lot to do with each guy's ability to judge good character. In having lived here for so long now, and having learned much of the language and how to "read" Filipinas more, of course I have honed skills that a new guy may not have. But, I think that most of these guys, like that 61 year-old Brit, for example, was using the wrong head when he made that decision. (Please read my recent post on "another forum", regarding that.) But, no matter where they live with the girl, or for how long, is irrelevant. Either way, perhaps we should agree to disagree, as my mentor, G. Gordon Liddy would say.

Now I am not the type of person to throw stones at anyone Paul, but I have to ask how a man who has not been in a long term relationship that has worked out, feels that he is qualified to tell others how to find a good woman.......... Paul, to those of us that know you, we also know that you have bounced around a bit, to say it mildly. ........Now we know that you have been in the Philippines many years and as far as I know you have not found the right woman to settle you down yet, or to just remain in a relationship with, be it by choice or by chance, and then you think others can easily find a good woman on the ground........Now, while I do not think you are wrong about it being easy to find women in many parts of the Philippines, I do think it might be difficult to find the right woman, no matter where in the world we may seek one, and that is why I again say to use the Internet to look and to rule out the ones who do not fit your needs........Now again Paul is correct when he says it has been a long time since I found my wife and I am the first one to admit that the ladies have changed dramatically since then.........When I met my wife, IMO most ladies were good girls and a few were wild, compared to today when I think the pendulum has swung the other way and more girls may be wild and fewer are good girls........So it is going to be all about what you seek.......As I walk around the malls nowadays and look in some of the Internet cafes, I see more and more bar girls walking around the malls and chatting online, and just plain old blending in as everyday girls.......So if what a person seeks is a bar girl or a wild lady, then those would be very easy to find both in the bars at night, or Internet cafes and in the malls in the daytime, but if that is not what they seek, then it might be a good idea for them to do their homework and try to rule out some of the ladies via the Internet who may be scammers or bar girls looking for their fish, and then come and see if they are the same in person as online..........From what I have seen and heard from men who met their ladies online, it is about 1 out of 10 that are keepers and the other 9 need to be tossed back for someone else to play with........Again JMHOAnd again Paul is correct, think with the correct head because no matter if you find your lady in person or on the Internet, it is really going to be about you seeing the clues and a person needs a clear head to do that.I would also like to say that not all girls walking around the malls are bad or good, like everywhere else, there will be a mix of both.One other tip, it might be better to seek women online during the night time here because a bar girl would be working in the bars and not online at that time.