Advice From Someone On The Ground In The Philippines

[paul]

Lee, I never touched the girl, not even one time, if that is what you are saying. Either way man, It's all good. I look forward to seeing you on the 25th. Take care,Paul

[Mr Lee]

Lee, I never touched the girl, not even one time, if that is what you are saying. Either way man, It's all good. I look forward to seeing you on the 25th. Take care,Paul

OK, let me edit my post, wanted to give you her virginity. Your post in the bar girl section sure lead me to believe that she did and you did, but I will not post what you deleted here and you are correct, it is all good and we all have opinions, and I look forward to seeing you and sharing one or many tubes of beer with you at the Moon Cafe get together on April 25th starting at 4 PM.

[Old55]

TheMason, Lee and Paul, very good points of view guys! Required reading for those never in country.

[brock]

Paul, the guy from the UK is just one guy who may or may not have gotten to know the lady for any length of time........ We all have different points of view or opinions and you have been living in the Philippines for a while so yours may be different than mine, but not everyone has the time to spend months in the Phils trying to get to know someone.................... I could rattle off many names who met on the Internet and are very happy with their ladies, so it can go either way.............. My point is that if a person spends enough time getting to know a lady on the Internet and a web cam, then they at least have some idea who they are and what they are about and IMO, those people have a leg up on people who just meet in person........... I think your idea may be better suited for people who are moving to the Phils or those who will be staying for months and not weeks. JMHO

I think it's more than that, Lee. In the thread I posted on about the Brit today, I feel as though it has a lot to do with each guy's ability to judge good character. In having lived here for so long now, and having learned much of the language and how to "read" Filipinas more, of course I have honed skills that a new guy may not have. But, I think that most of these guys, like that 61 year-old Brit, for example, was using the wrong head when he made that decision. (Please read my recent post on "another forum", regarding that.) But, no matter where they live with the girl, or for how long, is irrelevant. Either way, perhaps we should agree to disagree, as my mentor, G. Gordon Liddy would say.

As I walk around the malls nowadays and look in some of the Internet cafes, I see more and more bar girls walking around the malls and chatting online, and just plain old blending in as everyday girls.......So if what a person seeks is a bar girl or a wild lady, then those would be very easy to find both in the bars at night, or Internet cafes and in the malls in the daytimeOne other tip, it might be better to seek women online during the night time here because a bar girl would be working in the bars and not online at that time.

Sorry to get slightly off topic here but I can not understand how you know the girls in the mall or Internet cafe are bar girls. All the bargirls that I have seen as they turn up for work or when they are going home are dressed just the same as any young woman of that age,usually jeans and T shirt or just casual clothing. Is it something else other than the way they dress that tell you they work in a bar. :th_goodidea:

Easy to tell Tom.....They are the ones with a mattress strapped to their back.

[Jollygoodfellow]

Paul, the guy from the UK is just one guy who may or may not have gotten to know the lady for any length of time........ We all have different points of view or opinions and you have been living in the Philippines for a while so yours may be different than mine, but not everyone has the time to spend months in the Phils trying to get to know someone.................... I could rattle off many names who met on the Internet and are very happy with their ladies, so it can go either way.............. My point is that if a person spends enough time getting to know a lady on the Internet and a web cam, then they at least have some idea who they are and what they are about and IMO, those people have a leg up on people who just meet in person........... I think your idea may be better suited for people who are moving to the Phils or those who will be staying for months and not weeks. JMHO

I think it's more than that, Lee. In the thread I posted on about the Brit today, I feel as though it has a lot to do with each guy's ability to judge good character. In having lived here for so long now, and having learned much of the language and how to "read" Filipinas more, of course I have honed skills that a new guy may not have. But, I think that most of these guys, like that 61 year-old Brit, for example, was using the wrong head when he made that decision. (Please read my recent post on LinC, regarding that.) But, no matter where they live with the girl, or for how long, is irrelevant. Either way, perhaps we should agree to disagree, as my mentor, G. Gordon Liddy would say.

As I walk around the malls nowadays and look in some of the Internet cafes, I see more and more bar girls walking around the malls and chatting online, and just plain old blending in as everyday girls.......So if what a person seeks is a bar girl or a wild lady, then those would be very easy to find both in the bars at night, or Internet cafes and in the malls in the daytimeOne other tip, it might be better to seek women online during the night time here because a bar girl would be working in the bars and not online at that time.

Sorry to get slightly off topic here but I can not understand how you know the girls in the mall or Internet cafe are bar girls. All the bargirls that I have seen as they turn up for work or when they are going home are dressed just the same as any young woman of that age,usually jeans and T shirt or just casual clothing. Is it something else other than the way they dress that tell you they work in a bar. :thumbsup:

Easy to tell Tom.....They are the ones with a mattress strapped to their back.

Ahh so thats how its done,is that what you see Lee :th_goodidea:

[Mr Lee]

Sorry to get slightly off topic here but I can not understand how you know the girls in the mall or Internet cafe are bar girls. All the bargirls that I have seen as they turn up for work or when they are going home are dressed just the same as any young woman of that age,usually jeans and T shirt or just casual clothing. Is it something else other than the way they dress that tell you they work in a bar. :1 (235):

Sorry I did not answer this sooner. I know who they were because I recognized their faces from the bars. I even saw one of my neighbors working in one bar. Since I am happily married, I like to study faces and eyes when I am in those types of bars, that is unless I get to see one lady that just happens to have an exceptional body. Remember, I used to manage a totally nude club in Florida, so I have seen enough regular everyday bodies to last me a lifetime, but an exceptional body and face is always a treat to look at.

[Markham]

The only bar girl I ever had an on-going relationship with was Iyah, which some of you have met.Rose was not a bar girl, but a virgin. We were going to live together. I fetched her at her home and took her around town with me that day.I took her back to fetch her things and heard her talking to her aunt. She (Rose) had told me previously that she wasn't a virgin. I found out by listening to their conversation that she was, in fact a virgin. (It was a somewhat heated discussion between her and her aunt.) She told her aunt not to tell me - like it would be a secret for long? Either way, I split up with her for lying to me about that.Vivian and I, I believe, one day later, began talking again. She text me and asked if I was with anyone. I let her know I had just split with a girl who was going to live in with me. She and I continued talking, and decided to give it a try again. She came here yesterday. For the record, I have been with a total of 2 girls, sexually, since Viv and I split up a while back, like 2 months ago maybe? Days and weeks run together for me, so it is difficult to keep track.Either way, I stand by what I said:1. I am very qualified to offer advice about this topic to new guys.2. Do not meet girls on line, but rather meet them here, in person. (The chances are simply better when meeting them on the ground here. Period.)3. Lee and I do agree on this topic, as he posted previously.Also, for the record, I have never once stated you can find "the perfect" girl in your first trip, certainly not necessarily during a 21 day trip to the Philippines.So, any of you who wish, feel free to judge me as you wish. I'm a big boy and I can take it. :1 (235): EDIT: By the way, Vivian has never worked in a bar, just for the sake of argument here.EDIT2: Forgot some text.

Thank you for clearing all that up Paul and we wish you and Vivian the best of luck and all the good things that life has to offer. .......I personally would not have broken up with a girl that was a virgin and gave you her virginity and then lied to say she was not, but if a girl claimed to be a virgin and lied, that would be a real lie IMO.......If Rose knew you wanted a non virgin and cared enough to lie to you to try to get you, I would be complimented if I were you...... We all tell white lies from time to time and a white lie like that shows to me that she cared for you very much and wanted to please you by saying she was not. JMHO But who am I, I do not know anything about women, dating or finding women, or the Philippines since I am only here 3 to 4 months a year, every year and have been coming back and forth to the Philippines for over 15 years now.......

I fully understand - and agree with - Paul's stance here. He was lied to. Period. It's all a matter of basic trust and for someone to lie to ingratiate themselves to another over something relatively small, tells me that they might, or could, be untruthful in other more serious matters.

I think I will now crown you King Paul, king of the expats here in the Philippines because you know all and no one knows more than you do, or should dare to disagree with you, because you have to be correct in your opinion.

I think that's a rather an unnecessarily smug and sarcastic statement to make about a member, don't you? Paul is an ordinary member here and those words from a moderator strike me as an abuse of power and privilege. Is this some kind of "payback" from your "another forum" days when Paul was your "boss"? Enquiring minds wish to know. Lee, you're basically a good chap but you do see issues as being "black" or "white", for you there is no middle ground, no grey area. And I do wonder why it is that you post predominantly positive messages about the Philippines whilst you're in the States but you tend to post negatively whilst you're here. Just an observation, you understand.Mark

[Mr Lee]

The only bar girl I ever had an on-going relationship with was Iyah, which some of you have met.Rose was not a bar girl, but a virgin. We were going to live together. I fetched her at her home and took her around town with me that day.I took her back to fetch her things and heard her talking to her aunt. She (Rose) had told me previously that she wasn't a virgin. I found out by listening to their conversation that she was, in fact a virgin. (It was a somewhat heated discussion between her and her aunt.) She told her aunt not to tell me - like it would be a secret for long? Either way, I split up with her for lying to me about that.Vivian and I, I believe, one day later, began talking again. She text me and asked if I was with anyone. I let her know I had just split with a girl who was going to live in with me. She and I continued talking, and decided to give it a try again. She came here yesterday. For the record, I have been with a total of 2 girls, sexually, since Viv and I split up a while back, like 2 months ago maybe? Days and weeks run together for me, so it is difficult to keep track.Either way, I stand by what I said:1. I am very qualified to offer advice about this topic to new guys.2. Do not meet girls on line, but rather meet them here, in person. (The chances are simply better when meeting them on the ground here. Period.)3. Lee and I do agree on this topic, as he posted previously.Also, for the record, I have never once stated you can find "the perfect" girl in your first trip, certainly not necessarily during a 21 day trip to the Philippines.So, any of you who wish, feel free to judge me as you wish. I'm a big boy and I can take it. :1 (235): EDIT: By the way, Vivian has never worked in a bar, just for the sake of argument here.EDIT2: Forgot some text.

Thank you for clearing all that up Paul and we wish you and Vivian the best of luck and all the good things that life has to offer. .......I personally would not have broken up with a girl that was a virgin and gave you her virginity and then lied to say she was not, but if a girl claimed to be a virgin and lied, that would be a real lie IMO.......If Rose knew you wanted a non virgin and cared enough to lie to you to try to get you, I would be complimented if I were you...... We all tell white lies from time to time and a white lie like that shows to me that she cared for you very much and wanted to please you by saying she was not. JMHO But who am I, I do not know anything about women, dating or finding women, or the Philippines since I am only here 3 to 4 months a year, every year and have been coming back and forth to the Philippines for over 15 years now.......

I fully understand - and agree with - Paul's stance here. He was lied to. Period. It's all a matter of basic trust and for someone to lie to ingratiate themselves to another over something relatively small, tells me that they might, or could, be untruthful in other more serious matters.

I think I will now crown you King Paul, king of the expats here in the Philippines because you know all and no one knows more than you do, or should dare to disagree with you, because you have to be correct in your opinion.

I think that's a rather an unnecessarily smug and sarcastic statement to make about a member, don't you? Paul is an ordinary member here and those words from a moderator strike me as an abuse of power and privilege. Is this some kind of "payback" from your "another forum" days when Paul was your "boss"? Enquiring minds wish to know. Lee, you're basically a good chap but you do see issues as being "black" or "white", for you there is no middle ground, no grey area. And I do wonder why it is that you post predominantly positive messages about the Philippines whilst you're in the States but you tend to post negatively whilst you're here. Just an observation, you understand.Mark

Yes Mark, I understand and I respect your opinion........ I do not think telling the truth is talking negative about the Philippines........There are many great women here and I just want people who read to see both sides of an issue.....I am not paying Paul back for anything and we are friends but we do not see eye to eye on issues like this.....I do not think that men reading this forum should think that they can come to the Philippines for a week to three weeks and find a fantastic wife every time.......With all the hype about how great Filipinas are, things have changed a lot over the last 15 years and things like Cable TV, and the Internet are responsible IMHO......Maybe 6 or 7 years back, I watched Sex in the City on cable TV here and I remember telling my wife, There goes the morality of the Philippines........I have since watched the proliferation of bar girl type bars spread all over the Philippines and more and more sexpats coming.....Now while that is good for the guys who own the bars and quite possibly the economy here, I feel that is not good for the country in general....JMHO....Also remember I am not a prude and I would even like to see prostitution legalized but kept in one area such as Las Vegas does.Girly bars have there place and I was in Sppoks yesterday and it was very nice, but I am not a sexpat and unfortunately the ladies there did not make any money on me........It just hurts me to see all this happening here and I have sat down with many of the ladies and talked to them in Cebu and they all have the same story, they are looking for a foreigner and they go to the Internet Cafe in the daytime and try to find one that way.......Reality is not negative and while Paul tells it one way, I feel the need to tell it like I see it..........You will notice that Paul will never let anyone get the last word on a subject and while he accuses me of the same thing and maybe that is why we butt heads so much, I do not state things as facts unless I know them to be facts and I just do not understand what Philippines Paul has been in all this time to think the way he does. Mark, I suggest you read the whole issue and read the post in the bar girl section too and then you will see why I posted what I did. BTW Mark, how did you meet Leah? Was it via the Internet or in person?BTW2, I think calling Paul that was a compliment.

[paul]

Yes Mark, I understand and I respect your opinion........ I do not think telling the truth is talking negative about the Philippines........There are many great women here and I just want people who read to see both sides of an issue.....I am not paying Paul back for anything and we are friends but we do not see eye to eye on issues like this.....I do not think that men reading this forum should think that they can come to the Philippines for a week to three weeks and find a fantastic wife every time.......With all the hype about how great Filipinas are, things have changed a lot over the last 15 years and things like Cable TV, and the Internet are responsible IMHO......Maybe 6 or 7 years back, I watched Sex in the City on cable TV here and I remember telling my wife, There goes the morality of the Philippines........I have since watched the proliferation of bar girl type bars spread all over the Philippines and more and more sexpats coming.....Now while that is good for the guys who own the bars and quite possibly the economy here, I feel that is not good for the country in general....JMHO....Also remember I am not a prude and I would even like to see prostitution legalized but kept in one area such as Las Vegas does.Girly bars have there place and I was in Sppoks yesterday and it was very nice, but I am not a sexpat and unfortunately the ladies there did not make any money on me........It just hurts me to see all this happening here and I have sat down with many of the ladies and talked to them in Cebu and they all have the same story, they are looking for a foreigner and they go to the Internet Cafe in the daytime and try to find one that way.......Reality is not negative and while Paul tells it one way, I feel the need to tell it like I see it..........You will notice that Paul will never let anyone get the last word on a subject and while he accuses me of the same thing and maybe that is why we butt heads so much, I do not state things as facts unless I know them to be facts and I just do not understand what Philippines Paul has been in all this time to think the way he does. Mark, I suggest you read the whole issue and read the post in the bar girl section too and then you will see why I posted what I did. BTW Mark, how did you meet Leah? Was it via the Internet or in person?BTW2, I think calling Paul that was a compliment.

Well, I wasn't going to say anything further on this. But, as usual with Lee, there usually is reason to do so. He can't ever let a topic drop.Lee, First, I have never, ever said someone, anyone, can come to the Philippines and find "the" perfect wife in 21 days. When and where did I ever say that? Or, is this something you simply assumed in my writing? Second, you have been married for a long time, and you don't have a clue about bar girls, Lee. When was the last time you bar fined one? Oh, don't compare the bar girls here with the bar girls in the states. Two completely different creatures, Lee, completely different.Third, everyone who knows both of us, knows you didn't mean your statement as a compliment. I just ignored it, originally.Lastly, trust me when I say this, Lee. Mark and I don't see eye to eye on everything either, Lee. That, you can rest assured. However, Mark is quite intelligent, reads threads very well prior to posting, and is an asset to any forum of which he is a member. Anyone can see that in every post the man makes. By the way, thanks, Mark.Okay, now let's let Lee set the morality for each of us here.

[Mr Lee]

]Yes Mark, I understand and I respect your opinion........ I do not think telling the truth is talking negative about the Philippines........There are many great women here and I just want people who read to see both sides of an issue.....I am not paying Paul back for anything and we are friends but we do not see eye to eye on issues like this.....I do not think that men reading this forum should think that they can come to the Philippines for a week to three weeks and find a fantastic wife every time.......With all the hype about how great Filipinas are, things have changed a lot over the last 15 years and things like Cable TV, and the Internet are responsible IMHO......Maybe 6 or 7 years back, I watched Sex in the City on cable TV here and I remember telling my wife, There goes the morality of the Philippines........I have since watched the proliferation of bar girl type bars spread all over the Philippines and more and more sexpats coming.....Now while that is good for the guys who own the bars and quite possibly the economy here, I feel that is not good for the country in general....JMHO....Also remember I am not a prude and I would even like to see prostitution legalized but kept in one area such as Las Vegas does.Girly bars have there place and I was in Sppoks yesterday and it was very nice, but I am not a sexpat and unfortunately the ladies there did not make any money on me........It just hurts me to see all this happening here and I have sat down with many of the ladies and talked to them in Cebu and they all have the same story, they are looking for a foreigner and they go to the Internet Cafe in the daytime and try to find one that way.......Reality is not negative and while Paul tells it one way, I feel the need to tell it like I see it..........You will notice that Paul will never let anyone get the last word on a subject and while he accuses me of the same thing and maybe that is why we butt heads so much, I do not state things as facts unless I know them to be facts and I just do not understand what Philippines Paul has been in all this time to think the way he does. Mark, I suggest you read the whole issue and read the post in the bar girl section too and then you will see why I posted what I did. BTW Mark, how did you meet Leah? Was it via the Internet or in person?BTW2, I think calling Paul that was a compliment.

Well, I wasn't going to say anything further on this. But, as usual with Lee, there usually is reason to do so. He can't ever let a topic drop.Lee, First, I have never, ever said someone, anyone, can come to the Philippines and find "the" perfect wife in 21 days. When and where did I ever say that? Or, is this something you simply assumed in my writing? Second, you have been married for a long time, and you don't have a clue about bar girls, Lee. When was the last time you bar fined one? Oh, don't compare the bar girls here with the bar girls in the states. Two completely different creatures, Lee, completely different.Third, everyone who knows both of us, knows you didn't mean your statement as a compliment. I just ignored it, originally.Lastly, trust me when I say this, Lee. Mark and I don't see eye to eye on everything either, Lee. That, you can rest assured. However, Mark is quite intelligent, reads threads very well prior to posting, and is an asset to any forum of which he is a member. Anyone can see that in every post the man makes. By the way, thanks, Mark.Okay, now let's let Lee set the morality for each of us here.

First, Paul, you only want people to do what you say they should do. Below is your quote, no where do you say that this is only for the guys who come to the Philippines for a long time. Had you said that, I would not totally disagree with you, but many guys come for a week to 21 days and you refuse to bend and admit that there is more than one way to meet girls. Yes there are scammers on the Internet but there are just as many on the ground IMHO and from what people who have been on the ground and tried that route and told me so face to face.Your quote from your first post "Guys, don't go wasting your time meeting girls on line. Trust me"Second, you are correct, I never bar fined a girl, I have never had the need to and I have gotten all the sex I ever wanted when I was single without ever having to pay for it, but I do not look down on people who feel the need to and I think it is a lot better than ruining good girls...yet, I have been in the bars here in the Philippines and have sat down with quite a few of the ladies and talked to them and I do not have to bar fine them to get answers to questions when the bars are slow.....Oh, BTW, I did tip them p100 to p200 for the time they spent talking to me depending on how long they talked, not that it matters. Third many people call you king, behind your back, I call it like I see it out in the open. I think you know me by now and know that is how I am and always will be and if anyone does not like someone who is totally honest, they do not have to hang with me.....I personally would rather someone tell me to my face what they think than behind my back.....BTW, I was not going to comment on this any farther either but Mark brought it up, so I responded.Last I value Mark as a member and his opinion in posts or in person, and even said that in my post. Yes he is intelligent and I believe that he and I are friends and that will not change because we do not always agree or because he calls me on an issue. ADDED I do not think any of this has to do with moralityOK, now lets drop this, that is unless you have to get the last word as usual.