Advice From Someone On The Ground In The Philippines

[Markham]

Girls! Please! Paying me compliments is nice but doesn't alter my opinions about any of this. I really do not like to read messages written in such a vein by a member of the Forum Staff to an ordinary member: it's tantamount to bullying, it is bad Netiquette and outlawed on most sites.Having got that off my chest, my comment regarding negative and positive posts was meant generally and not specific to this topic. I am actually sick and tired of reading negative news story after negative news story about a country I choose to call "home" and a peoples I am trying to assimilate with and earn their trust and respect. I am perfectly capable of reading newspapers, online or in print, but what I find worse is the negative remarks you make after placing a link or quoting an article. I don't want all the negativities of life in the Philippines thrust in my face day in, day out. Much better would be to find something positive. Life is tough enough in the world right now without any need to add to people's problems or give them something else to worry about.You asked me how Leah and I met. The short answer is, by personal introduction. I was advised to cut-short my visit to Cebu in December 2006 by Consular officials from the British and Australian Embassies who were in Cebu in preparation for the ASEAN conference. You may recall that Abu Sayaf issued threats against all foreigners - specifically in Cebu - and indeed threatened to bomb the Marriott Hotel (where I and nermerous delegates were staying) as well as other hotels in the city. According to "intelligence", the threats were considered to pose a creditable risk. With Consular assistance, I was able to get an emergency flight to Cagayan De Oro, a city deemed to be safe. There I met, in person, the longterm girlfriend of a Black American who owned a dating site (now no more). She and I became good friends - on a strictly platonic level - and we kept in touch after I left. Over the weeks that followed, I learned that her relationship with that American was not all that it seemed: he frequently beat her and mistreated her, finally abandoning her when she fell pregnant with his baby. When she knew I was coming back to the Philippines some 6 months later, she put me in touch with Leah but did warn me that Leah's story was very, very similar. I did contact Leah when I arrived back in Cebu in July 2007 and we kept in touch and got to know each other over the next 15 months at which point, at the begining of September last year, Leah left her abusing Black American and came to be with me. I can not give you any more details about Leah's life to that point or our life since right now for legal reasons. Suffice it to say, we will be married later this year, after I get back from the UK.Returning to topic now (what is it now, I've almost forgotten!), my view is that, yes, you can meet a good girl, a "keeper", if you're here for a 21 day or so visit but obviously, the longer your visit, the greater your chances of success. You have to know where to find them - and that won't be in a bar on Mango Avenue. Try "NASA" at the weekends, or "The Pump" any night, or "Sunflower City" where it's Ladies' Night every Thursday. There are simply scores of available and attractive women there but, be warned, they hunt in packs! The Malls - and the Jeepney terminals near them - are another good hunting ground, especially around closing time. You need to use your imagination!In my opinion, anyone who uses Internet dating sites needs to tread very warily. Never ever, ever, repeat ever send money to ANYONE that you have not met in person, regardless of where in the world they live. I read earlier today about a guy who met a Filipina online in 2007, quickly agreed to marry her and since that time has sent her over US$50,000, but he's not met her in person. He's only just realised she has taken advantage of him. I am not sympathetic towards such brainless idiots.In short the best way to meet a Filipina is by personal introduction. Mark

[paul]

Returning to topic now (what is it now, I've almost forgotten!), my view is that, yes, you can meet a good girl, a "keeper", if you're here for a 21 day or so visit but obviously, the longer your visit, the greater your chances of success. You have to know where to find them - and that won't be in a bar on Mango Avenue. Try "NASA" at the weekends, or "The Pump" any night, or "Sunflower City" where it's Ladies' Night every Thursday. There are simply scores of available and attractive women there but, be warned, they hunt in packs! The Malls - and the Jeepney terminals near them - are another good hunting ground, especially around closing time. You need to use your imagination!

Mark, I guess I misread you completely. I never pictured you as the type of guy who may wish to lose his hearing. :1 (235): :D :D Man, I have to say, if I had to limit myself to one of the "Discos" in this province, in order to find a girl for me, I would be alone for a very long time... unless I invested in a good quality pair of earplugs. :) By the way, I met Vivian by introduction here. Now, if we can stay together long enough (we have split tons of times in the 2.5 years we have known each other), I would love to marry her. :)

[Old55]

Those Discos all have the volume set to 11! An off duty cop was shot six times near to a Filipino outdoor Disco the other night. No one heard the shot including the victim who survived the shooting. Typical handgun is over 120dB!

[Mr Lee]

Mark, thank you for your comments and for telling us how you met Leah, and advance best wishes for a long and happy marriage.BTW, I did not give you a nice comment to brown nose you, as I said before, I tell it like it is, either good or bad.

[Markham]

Returning to topic now (what is it now, I've almost forgotten!), my view is that, yes, you can meet a good girl, a "keeper", if you're here for a 21 day or so visit but obviously, the longer your visit, the greater your chances of success. You have to know where to find them - and that won't be in a bar on Mango Avenue. Try "NASA" at the weekends, or "The Pump" any night, or "Sunflower City" where it's Ladies' Night every Thursday. There are simply scores of available and attractive women there but, be warned, they hunt in packs! The Malls - and the Jeepney terminals near them - are another good hunting ground, especially around closing time. You need to use your imagination!

Mark, I guess I misread you completely. I never pictured you as the type of guy who may wish to lose his hearing. :1 (235): :D :D Man, I have to say, if I had to limit myself to one of the "Discos" in this province, in order to find a girl for me, I would be alone for a very long time... unless I invested in a good quality pair of earplugs. :) By the way, I met Vivian by introduction here. Now, if we can stay together long enough (we have split tons of times in the 2.5 years we have known each other), I would love to marry her. :)

Paul,My point was illustrational - to inform people that it is perfectly possible to meet nice girls in person here in their "natural habitat", whether that's in a disco, on the beach or on the Mall.I agree on the sound issue and rarely go to discos but on the occasions that Leah and I do go, I've noticed an overwhelming majority of young and attractive females "dancing around their handbags".Mark

[Mr Lee]

You asked me how Leah and I met. The short answer is, by personal introduction.

Yes mark, that is my number 3 way to meet ladies here, through personal introduction. Thank you for confirming that.

My point was illustrational - to inform people that it is perfectly possible to meet nice girls in person here in their "natural habitat", whether that's in a disco, on the beach or on the Mall.I agree on the sound issue and rarely go to discos but on the occasions that Leah and I do go, I've noticed an overwhelming majority of young and attractive females "dancing around their handbags".Mark

I agree Mark, the ladies are all over the place here and it is quite easy to meet some and some even try to pick me up when I am with my wife in the malls, in restaurants, on the streets, in normal non bar girl type bars, etc. Now, if I was single and looking for a lady, would I ever want to date the type of women who would try to pick me up while I am with another woman, no way, but that is just me and my opinion and that would be totally up to the individual.My point is exactly that, there are at least three ways to meet women here, One being, using the Internet to develop a relationship over time, Two being, on the streets, malls, bars, discos etc, but IMO, not if you are going to be here for only a short time because it takes time to develop a real relationship and to truly get to know each other, and as long as a person has either the time on the ground here or time to come back, or time to continue the relationship on the Internet and or telephone, or time and money to come back often to spend more time getting to know each other, and of course three would be personal introductions, as I said before in an earlier post. So in closing, to the guys who are looking to meet Filipinas in the Philippines, everyone has their own opinion on how to meet ladies and it is totally up to you what type of lady you seek, and no one way is the best way to meet them, but there are choices and the choice is totally up to you to make and not for me or anyone else to tell you how to do it IMHO. Edited April 18, 2009 by Mr. Lee

[Markham]

One being, using the Internet to develop a relationship over time,

Maybe, but it's not a method I would personally recommend to anyone. You have read, have you not, of the idiot who "met" a girl on an Internet Chat Room about 2 years ago and quickly fell in love with her and got engaged. He then proceeded to send her money whenever she asked him - in total, some $54,000. Had he met her in person? No! Is his an isolated story? No! In my opinion, "good girls" do not look for foreigners to marry using the Internet.The Internet is very useful to keep in touch with a girl that you've already met in person. It can help you to get to know that person beyond the physical attractiveness that sparked the mutual interest in the first place. But as a vehicle to meet a girl in the first place - NO! Unless you have a very thick skin and are sceptical by nature.Mark

[Jollygoodfellow]

Girls! Please! Paying me compliments is nice but doesn't alter my opinions about any of this. I really do not like to read messages written in such a vein by a member of the Forum Staff to an ordinary member: it's tantamount to bullying, it is bad Netiquette and outlawed on most sites.

Forum support staff and members sometimes perhaps get over heated and respond in the wrong way, forum support staff get the same warnings as members.

Having got that off my chest, my comment regarding negative and positive posts was meant generally and not specific to this topic. I am actually sick and tired of reading negative news story after negative news story about a country I choose to call "home" and a peoples I am trying to assimilate with and earn their trust and respect. I am perfectly capable of reading newspapers, online or in print, but what I find worse is the negative remarks you make after placing a link or quoting an article. I don't want all the negativities of life in the Philippines thrust in my face day in, day out. Much better would be to find something positive. Life is tough enough in the world right now without any need to add to people's problems or give them something else to worry about.Mark

The reason this forum posts news articles is to encourage debate and opinion on subjects related to the Philippines whether they are positive or negative. I have been home alot over easter and the past week with not much work so I have been watching members logging in but they rarely post anything. I understand you are sick of reading news story's as I'm sick of reading how some idiot gives away thousands of dollars to someone they hardly know on other forums,sometimes I think someone just writes those post's to boost posting numbers. Either way they get the same response every time.So what I suggest is that you or anyone else has something positive to say about their everyday lives in the Philippines please post about it,I for one would love to read about our members daily life experiences of living as an expat. :1 (235):

[Mike S]

Sorry but IMHO ........ NOBODY ....... gives away $50,000 to anyone they know let alone someone they never met ..... coarse Bill Gates could but I doubt he would ...... I agree with Tom ...... sounds to me like all hype just to try and prove a point ...... a couple of thousand ... maybe ...... I could relate my own experiences with on line dating but I won't ....... I'm tired of expressing my experiences as it doesn't mean a thing as each of us are different ...... and have had different experiences with girls ...... and just so you know Mark ...... many members have met their girlfriends and wives on line so you comment "In my opinion, "good girls" do not look for foreigners to marry using the Internet." ........ you better check around ...... in fact I believe one of your good buddies met his girlfriend that way ....... but as you said it is just your opinion and should be taken as such ....... and I am not abusing my so called power as you made the broad sweeping comment to start with ......

[paul]

I hate to tell you Mike, but I personally know a guy, a former client of PMC, who lost almost $100,000 USD to a single girl. I didn't say he was the brightest guy in the world, only that he lost almost $100,000 USD to his former wife. I'm sure she will be living it up for some time to come, maybe.