Advice From Someone On The Ground In The Philippines

[Mike S]

Paul ... I can fully understand how a person could loose a large sum of money to an ex-wife ..... been there done that ...... easy as joint banking accounts ... credit cards ..... pensions .... properties and other stuff including alimony and child support are involved ...... but for some one to send $54,000 to a person he never met is ridicules ..... either the guy is lying .... a complete idiot and has more money than he knows what to do with .......... I have heard all these sad tales also but you know something if they are true these guys must live in a vacuum .... anyone with family ... friends or co-workers would I'm sure discuss their relationship and receive advise from them ....... no one with half a brain is going to let a friend or relative do something like that ....... I also feel ... but can't prove that this very same person (with no brains) would if coming here and meeting this woman would do the exact same thing and maybe more as there would be an inducement ....... if she told him the caraboa died or her mother needed an operation or other such stuff ....... people like this are suckers and as WC Fields used to say "born every minute" ........... don't tell me that guys coming here for 21 days and meeting girls aren't fleeced by supposedly new girlfriends and when they get back to their home countries continue to send support .....Unless you can spend some time here or have the means to come back and forth 4-5 times a year it is going to be almost impossible to find a so called good girl only coming here on your vacations ....... How about the guys who come here (after meeting their girlfriends ... god knows where) .......... get married and take them to the states ... only to have the wife leave him for another younger or perhaps wealthier man ....... I personally know 3 guys that this has happened to ...... and they didn't meet their ex-wife's on-line .......... All I can speak of is from my own personal experiences ..... not what someone told me or I read about on the web ... newspaper or magazine .......... in the 4-5 years I was chatting on-line to numerous girls (more than 20+ ..... number not important) I was never ONCE asked for money or anything else for that matter ...... not even to pay for their chat time (am I exceptional .... I don't think so .... just careful) ...... I met Julie on line .... and believe me she is a good girl or I wouldn't have made her my asawa .......... so for people to make a broad sweeping statement that "good girls " can't be found on line is just reduculous and totally unfounded by facts ...... as is that statement that the only way to find a true girlfriend or wife is by coming here to the Phils ...... sure coming here is going to solidify the bond but meeting can be of any means ....... web ... friend .... letter .... telephone ... or by coming here .......... that is like saying "there is only one way to skin a cat" ........ If the above expression of my own feelings hurts some one's feelings than so be it ...... if you can't stand the heat ... don't build a fire ...... people that know me know I say what I feel both on the internet and in person ...... I don't hold things back nor make pretences ....... and also don't care about other peoples opinions of me ...... after all they are like another part of the body ... and everybody has one ....... and the above post is MY OPION ...... so I have one too .......

[Markham]

Mike,There are undoubtedly exceptions to most rules and I, for one, am very happy for you that you first encountered your now wife Julie online. But I'd suggest that for every one in your position, there are over a hundred guys who have been taken for an emotional ride that has turned out badly for them.A friend of mine has a rather novel approach. He sits at one of the tables outside a bar/cafe in a Mall and if he spies an attractive looking girl walking, he simply calls out asking for her phone number. His "success" rate is remarkably high and he's not an exceptionally good-looking guy by any means.Mark

[Mr Lee]

Mike,There are undoubtedly exceptions to most rules and I, for one, am very happy for you that you first encountered your now wife Julie online. But I'd suggest that for every one in your position, there are over a hundred guys who have been taken for an emotional ride that has turned out badly for them.A friend of mine has a rather novel approach. He sits at one of the tables outside a bar/cafe in a Mall and if he spies an attractive looking girl walking, he simply calls out asking for her phone number. His "success" rate is remarkably high and he's not an exceptionally good-looking guy by any means.Mark

Mark, my first problem with what you say there is over a hundred for every one, did you personally count them all. Come on, you are much smarter than to make a comment like that. How do you come to those figures? Next is the part where the guy looks for attractive girls, why is that? I already know the answer and as I have said, it is quite easy to meet plenty of women and many of them will be good girls, but quite a few might also be bar girls. If that is what a person seeks, then it is sooooooo easy to find that type of women, but if they seek a good wife, as I am sure you wanted when you found Leah, I would doubt that Leah would be the kind of woman to respond to your friend in the mall. I know my wife when single, would have just walked by and made like your friend did not exist. Mark the more you post, the more you make my point even stronger. Enough said.

[Markham]

Mark, my first problem with what you say there is over a hundred for every one, did you personally count them all. Come on, you are much smarter than to make a comment like that. How do you come to those figures? Next is the part where the guy looks for attractive girls, why is that? I already know the answer and as I have said, it is quite easy to meet plenty of women and many of them will be good girls, but quite a few might also be bar girls. If that is what a person seeks, then it is sooooooo easy to find that type of women, but if they seek a good wife, as I am sure you wanted when you found Leah, I would doubt that Leah would be the kind of woman to respond to your friend in the mall. I know my wife when single, would have just walked by and made like your friend did not exist. Mark the more you post, the more you make my point even stronger. Enough said.

Lee, you must think your response was so good, you had to say it twice - but then, you are originally from New York (think Frank Sinatra)!I have talked with a number of people who own internet cafes in various parts of the Philippines - it was a business I was considering - and they gave me a valuable insight as to a goodly part of their clientele. It is not without good cause that Bislig is known as "Scammer Central".As for my friend who collects phone numbers and the possibility of him getting a bar girl's phone number, on the surface that could be a risk he runs. However, bar girls are less likely to give out their phone number since she could only meet him inside the bar (from where he could, of course, bar-fine her) and she could face a hefty fine if she dates outside the bar. There are, of course, exceptions to that general observation. But, my friend tells me he has a better than 50:50 success rate and none of them are employed in a bar.As to the likelihood of responses, I'd say that a girl who has spent most of her life in the provinces is less likely to give her phone number if asked by my friend than a girl who was brought-up in the city, unless she was very self-confident and open-minded.

[Old55]

Frank Sinatra was born in Hoboken, New Jersey. We forgive you Mark because many of us think Wales is part of England. :SugarwareZ-037: Four or five years ago in a internet cafe Moalboal Cebu I was sitting next to two cute 12 or 13 year old school girls (kids) "internet chatting" an American giggling about the money he would send.

[Mr Lee]

Mark, my first problem with what you say there is over a hundred for every one, did you personally count them all. Come on, you are much smarter than to make a comment like that. How do you come to those figures? Next is the part where the guy looks for attractive girls, why is that? I already know the answer and as I have said, it is quite easy to meet plenty of women and many of them will be good girls, but quite a few might also be bar girls. If that is what a person seeks, then it is sooooooo easy to find that type of women, but if they seek a good wife, as I am sure you wanted when you found Leah, I would doubt that Leah would be the kind of woman to respond to your friend in the mall. I know my wife when single, would have just walked by and made like your friend did not exist. Mark the more you post, the more you make my point even stronger. Enough said.

Lee, you must think your response was so good, you had to say it twice - but then, you are originally from New York (think Frank Sinatra)!I have talked with a number of people who own internet cafes in various parts of the Philippines - it was a business I was considering - and they gave me a valuable insight as to a goodly part of their clientele. It is not without good cause that Bislig is known as "Scammer Central".As for my friend who collects phone numbers and the possibility of him getting a bar girl's phone number, on the surface that could be a risk he runs. However, bar girls are less likely to give out their phone number since she could only meet him inside the bar (from where he could, of course, bar-fine her) and she could face a hefty fine if she dates outside the bar. There are, of course, exceptions to that general observation. But, my friend tells me he has a better than 50:50 success rate and none of them are employed in a bar.As to the likelihood of responses, I'd say that a girl who has spent most of her life in the provinces is less likely to give her phone number if asked by my friend than a girl who was brought-up in the city, unless she was very self-confident and open-minded.

Mark, thank you for pointing out the double post, as you know the Forum when down because you text me to tell me, and sometimes during things like that, it will do that to even the best of us. If my memory does not fail me, I had to delete one of your double posts not that long ago, but I could be mistaken.I have a friend who used to ask girls he bunked into in the streets if they would go to bed with him and he said he had a one in 10 chance they would say yes and the other 9 would slap him or laugh at him or just disregard him, but he said it was worth it because he got sex every night he wanted it. Mark my friend, there are all types in this world, both in the Philippines and around the world.Now I noticed that you avoided what I said before, so I will ask it as a question, would Leah be the type of girl who would give out her phone number to your friend? I think not and that is my exact point. Mark you can argue until your fingers fall off but IMO good girls do not give their phone numbers to total strangers here in the Philippines or even in the states and if the other type of girl is the one people seek, then go for it. I personally can find all that type of women that I would ever want right back in the states. and I sure did not go half way around the world to get the same type of woman that I could easily find right in my own back yard.IMO many western men go to the Philippines because they do not want the same headaches that many western women have already given them. I never had a problem finding girls back home that I could score with and if the guys are the type that did, like some we know, then I guess it is OK for them to go to the Philippines because they may have been too ugly back in their own countries to score. I personally do not think that is the case with many of us who went to the Philippines to find a wife or gf. Mark, I guess you will defend that position even though you have already said you met Leah via an introduction which only proves my point all the more. There are more ways to meet women than just on the street and the Internet is but a tool to try to develop a relationship. In fact I would imagine that after you met Leah, that you must have used that too to develop your relationship with her or the telephone which is yet another tool for such a purpose. It really does not matter how someone meets their lady, but no one has the right to say that there way is the only way, unless they know everyone who ever met a woman here and they all met them on the ground, which we all know is not the case. I am done wasting my time with this because you have your opinion and I will never change mine because I know too many guys who met great wives or gf's from here in the Philippines via the Internet. Edited April 20, 2009 by Mr. Lee

[Markham]

Now I noticed that you avoided what I said before, so I will ask it as a question, would Leah be the type of girl who would give out her phone number to your friend? I think not and that is my exact point. Mark you can argue until your fingers fall off but IMO good girls do not give their phone numbers to total strangers here in the Philippines

If she and I weren't an "item", Leah probably wouldn't give out her phone number straight away but being a self-confident, outgoing person she might stop and chat to him for a while. Possibly, if she liked him and wanted to spend more time with him, then she might conceivably give him her phone number. Does that make her not a "good girl"? I think - no, I know - not.Just as you see everything in terms of "right" or "wrong", "black" or "white", you seem to believe that there just two types of girls here: "good girls" who wouldn't entertain the idea of giving-out their phone numbers to total strangers and "bar girls" who might do just that. And, by extension, you seem to assume that any girl who does give out their phone number must a bar girl. Lee, you are very mistaken about that.

Mark, I guess you will defend that position even though you have already said you met Leah via an introduction which only proves my point all the more.

Erm, pardon? Have you been reading my posts fully? My position - and one I do defend - is that the Internet is not a good place to meet women. There are whole well-organised "industries" here and elsewhere which use women and sex to extract money from gullible men. If you don't recognise that, it's about time you opened your eyes.

the Internet is but a tool to try to develop a relationship.

Yes, to develop a relationship but not to initiate one.

In fact I would imagine that after you met Leah, that you must have used that too to develop your relationship with her or the telephone which is yet another tool for such a purpose.

The telephone certainly. We did chat on Yahoo whilst I was out of the country.

I am done wasting my time with this because you have your opinion and I will never change mine because I know too many guys who met great wives or gf's from here in the Philippines via the Internet.

Well I am sorry you feel you are wasting your time posting messages. I didn't ask you to reply to mine and you were under no obligation to do so. However, you always must have the last say. On any topic.

[paul]

Good. I hope you guys are finished hijackin' my thread now. :SugarwareZ-037: :lol: :D

[Bruce]

As a newcomer to all this, let me give you a different take on it. I am happy with the internet results. It saved me time and effort in obtaining what I wanted. Now, I am not looking for a wife, nor a soul mate. I have a cat who is just perrrfect for me. I am a basic need person. I know what I want and while observing certain legal and financial restraints, I do what I want, when I want, and how I want. I used the internet to find a real nice woman to guide me around. The 'search options' allowed me to steer clear of young girls and GOD FEARING women! Narrowed it down to a select few. I used Lee's advice about money and gold diggers to spend a little money to see what reaction I would get before I had an actual travel date in mind. And like Lee said, there would be all kinds of 'emergencies' requiring money... so, these gold diggers got cut fast.I had already stated via the internet that I was not looking for a wife. And I was not going to bring anyone home from the Philippines. So that help cut out any plans on the part of any prospective guides..... I set things up to be met at the airport. I did not need any 'free time' to run around so I did not mind being met there. I was also 'watched' all the time, which again was not a problem because I did not have plans to go running around looking for a GF / wife type person. I don't drink or bar hop / whore around, so it was not a real problem being watched / protected from the female pinay on the prowl....I seemed to have chosen well. Got a tour guide and introductions to medical people on Samar which fit into my plan of doing some medical volunteer work. In fact, Samar was chosen because she is from there. If I had hooked up with a guide from a different island, then I would have done the medical work there instead of Samar. Met the entire family. No parties, no hands out. Certainly no chaparone issues from her 5 kids. Spent the time doing what I wanted. When I said we were going, we went. She saw that I willingly spent money, a bit too freely for her tastes. So she took money from me and did the paying, which saved me a good bit of money. I was paying 20 pesos for a 5 peso ride on a tricycle... Stupid Kano that I am. Like I really cared I was spending 10 cents US! But it made her happy to save me money. Not that the driver tried to take advantage of me, but really, he needs the 20 pesos / 10 cents far more than I did. Now, if the internet 'dating' was not available, how much time and effort would have been lost on my part getting to know someone who would be able to handle things with the locals? I paid for everything, same as I would do in the US. I called the shots and got to do what I wanted without any hassels or attitudes. I accomplished my goals and am already planning a return trip. Will be met at the airport again by the same woman again. Repeat as needed! My advice would be to NOT look for a GF/ wife. Instead use the internet as a resouce to set up a good vacation to see what it is like in the area you are going to. Once there, see how thing progress if you are looking for love. But be prepared to cut it off quick if you see the warning signs that you are being used as a meal ticket. As you can see, I am not exactly Mr. Romantic. But that is me. And I make it known, so those who are looking to be rescued from a life in the rice fields did not waste my time nor did I waste their time. Use the internet for the best results you can get. But it, like Lee, is simply a tool. A means to an end. Use it well.

[Mr Lee]

One comment that I would like to make on Bruce's post, is that I tried to get him to stop spending too freely and he refused and did what he wanted. He is a big boy and I was not his boss, but just advised and he did as he wanted, and that was fine with me.I would just like to point out to him and others who may be reading this thread, that when you spend freely, you may be making it hard for other visitors who do not wish to do so, because the locals then think it is normal for someone to give a 15 peso tip for a tricycle ride, etc, etc. Therefore you will be making it hard for the expats that live here and the next visitors because it may then be expected, and spending like that will only confirm the myth that all white people are very rich.