Facebook Filipinos.

[relcarve25]

    My Filipina wife has been on Facebook for a few years now. Along with millions of other filipinos she regularly posts pictures, galleries and information about our travels past and present. She tries very hard, and I think successfully, to edit all her pictures to make them interesting- not just showing people posing but backgrounds and notable locations also. Recently she decided to post photos of our years living in the little rural barrio in Leyte where we have a house and land. She displayed pictures showing the simple but interesting way of life for the people there. Now! - here is the interesting part. Normally virtually all her friends and relatives click ‘Like’ on her pictures but suddenly there was an almost tangible silence when she posted the Barrio pictures. Only one or two ‘liked’ them, and nobody made any comment at all

.

.    This started us thinking. I started going back over previous posts and looking at the sorts of things her friends had posted. To be absolutely honest I would guess that about 90% of all the photos were simply of the people themselves and the parties they went to. Thousands and thousands of pictures of facial close ups and well dressed Filipinas at gatherings. Many people would start a gallery with 100 photos of themselves posing to the camera in all manner of ridiculous positions. They could have been in their own toilets for all the background information the pics showed. I’m pretty sure that what I saw was a representative sample of Filipina postings. Magnify this by several million times and I am appalled as to what is happening in the social media.

 

    This led my wife and myself to come to several possible conclusions, all of which were pretty depressing, about the Philippines and its people:

 

1. It was almost like most of the Filipinos were ashamed of showing where they came from- at least for it to be shown to the rest of the world? Why would this be? Is it because they have been forced to try to make the leap from a simple, poorer life, to be recognised as part of modern day, developed country, culture? Perhaps they are concerned about others thinking they are ‘primitive.’ (That awful word with it’s negative connotations.)

 

   To most of us foreigners who live in the Philippines, or have travelled extensively there, there is a fascination for an older way of life which has been lost in our own countries. Some of us even envy this ‘simpler’ life and find it admirable. We wouldn’t feel ashamed of it or try to cover up that it is part of our own heritage. There is still a deep and rich culture in the Philippines- certainly when you compare it with the paucity of culture in the UK. It would be sad to think that many modern Filipinos are denying its presence to the world. Once lost it can never be fully regained as many developed countries have found to their cost. Filipinos abroad always come together at Barrio Fiestas, which surely celebrate the simple customs and culture of their country- they don’t seem to be ‘ashamed’ of foreigners seeing this?

 

2. The Filipina obsession with posing for photos and seeking approbation for their looks and beauty appears to be so ingrained that it dominates most of their lives. If this was true they would be some of the most superficial people on earth. Now- I do know from personal experience that this is NOT true. But to outsiders, with no contact with the Philippines, it must show the ladies in a pretty negative light i.e. the stereotype of Filipina women is a person so narcissistically obsessed with her looks as to be totally empty headed and insignificant. My wife certainly doesn’t conform to this picture- please tell me that I’m speaking through my backside and am completely wrong!

Chris Mcguffin.

Edited May 23, 2013 by relcarve25

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I've known a few that will deny where they came from.  The best on was when I was in Pusan, Korea in the Navy we met a hooker in the bar (big surprise?) and she was obviously Filipino.  When someone asked her she denied it and made up somewhere else she was from.  One of the guys said something in Tagalog and she laughed... then was pissed because we knew she was Filipino.  That she was a whore, she didn't care. 

 

Some of the sailors were the same way.  We knew they were Filipino but they would never speak Tagalog, refused to eat with their "Filipino forks" (fingers).  They also were huge braggarts about their money, clothes, and cars. 

 

Granted not all of them.  But enough that we noticed a trend.  It could be just trying not to look poor but when you deny your upbringing or your country it says something about your culture.

 

My girlfriend was raised poorer than dirt but is a proud Filipina. 

 

[i am bob]

I have noticed this phenomenon in most Asian countries. My ex-gf from Taiwan was the same.

[JJReyes]

Your wife's family and friends don't want to be reminded about the past. Facebook is for posting aspirations for the future, even if from your perspective it is self-centered and artificial. You are fascinated by rural life. For Filipinos, it's a reminder of poverty.

 

Years ago we took a newly arrived executive from Yardley Cosmetics and his wife to a rural area. They got to peek inside a nipa hut where the occupants totaling nine, including seven children slept on a single floor. I was expecting the question, "How do they do it?" surrounded by seven children. Instead, they were shocked by the cut-out pages from magazines. They were full page ads for cosmetics, clothes, shoes, bags and a motorcyle (for the husband). Every ad had either a movie star or a model with the product, including the motorcycle.

 

Years later we visited their home just south of Liverpool. The first topic of conversation was the Philippine nipa hut with all the ads plastered on the walls. They still could not comprehend why the rural family preferred all the materialistic stuff. Abstract subjects like better nutrition or quality education was not part of their aspiration.

 

Since I have perked Jake's curiousity, here's the answer to the question. The parents sleep inside a mosquito net that has a slightly tighter weaving making it almost opaque. Thus the Philippine expression, "Bata sa Kulambo."  or "Child in the Mosquito Net."        

[Thomas]

2. The Filipina obsession with posing for photos

My THEORY is it can depend of it's a hobby, which cost very litle to USE, if they have a mobile with camera or other digital camera.

 

Concerning p1 I believe it was similiar in developed countries, when our countries started get out of powerty.

(E g one of my grandfathers was born poor (1905). He was very opposite to snob about all other things, but he was dressed in suit (almost) allways and back when I were born only the baron, taxi, doctor - and my still rather poor grandfather - had cars in whole that parrish!   :)   He had no problem showing the poor house he grew up in, where his father still lived, but he wanted to SHOW he could afford suit and car to LOOK as he had left that poor life with wide margin, although he couldn't realy. My grandmother had to be very economical...   :)

Edited May 23, 2013 by Thomas

[MacBubba]

We have observed both your points in some Filipinos in Canada, but thankfully not the ones that we know in Manila.  Our family and friends relish their roots, and keep them alive and well.  One might say that they are very traditional - they raise their kids the way they were raised, always keeping them connected to their past.  It doesn't matter whether they were born rich and managed to keep that way, or if they or their forebears had to struggle to get to their current station.

 

As for the obsession with looks - my wife spends very little time primping.  Give her a lipstick (applied perfectly without a mirror), and she's ready for anything. 

 

Right now the draw of a simpler life is really beckoning.  It astonishes my wife's family and friends that she (born and bred a city girl) would give up Toronto or Manila for Marinduque.

[pongpong12]

Well ladies will always be vain about their looks especially on photos :-)

[Thomas]

Well ladies will always be vain about their looks especially on photos :-)

Not only women. Haven't you heared of "metrosexuals" (=men, mostly living in mig cities, who shave their chest and such, spend much time in front of mirror...) They can be worse vain than average woman  :)

[Adventurer]

I think Filipinos are much more interested in "people" than anything else or at least the way people look, their face, their partner and their general look.

 

I really noticed this on my return back this last week. When I'm in Australia you get a few glances and as long as you remain positive people will smile and be friendly but they don't really care so much for other people in the street they don't know. Although maybe teenagers will be more fascinated with other teens etc and the opposite sex.

 

Now you come to the Philippines and I really notice how nearly ALL people look at you. Walking through a mall people will gaze with curiosity and interest. I even mentioned it to my girlfriend the other day saying how I noticed that Filipinos are very inquisitive people. it's not just because I'm a foreigner although that probably means I get a lot of extra looks but they look at each other with interest too.

[relcarve25]

I think Filipinos are much more interested in "people" than anything else or at least the way people look, their face, their partner and their general look.

I really noticed this on my return back this last week. When I'm in Australia you get a few glances and as long as you remain positive people will smile and be friendly but they don't really care so much for other people in the street they don't know. Although maybe teenagers will be more fascinated with other teens etc and the opposite sex.

Now you come to the Philippines and I really notice how nearly ALL people look at you. Walking through a mall people will gaze with curiosity and interest. I even mentioned it to my girlfriend the other day saying how I noticed that Filipinos are very inquisitive people. it's not just because I'm a foreigner although that probably means I get a lot of extra looks but they look at each other with interest too.

I think you're 'spot on' there. Filipinos are definitely 'people centred' compared with most of us foreigners. My wife says that herself and it is very noticeable that everything automatically becomes focussed on people, family etc, rather than events or environments. They are also very prone to taking everything that is said as a personal comment directed at them. It is easy to dismiss this attitude as simple arrogance, and a misplaced sense of self importance, but I think it runs much deeper than that. I have often noticed how filipinos will start listening to what you are saying but will just 'switch off' if people are not involved. As soon as the discussion becomes people centred they will concentrate just as totally as anyone else. But I'm not sure if this partly explains the business of being obsessed with photographing themselves continually. Nor is it simple 'vanity' I feel. After all how 'vain' is it possible for a person to be? Perhaps there is a bit of 'Pavlovian' conditioned reflex involved. :no: Maybe most filipinos are 'trained' from a young age to seek approval for everything they do, and the ladies on Facebook translate this into desperately seeking the 'approval' that a 'like' can provide?

Thomas's theory that it is a cheap hobby which everyone can indulge in is probably partly true too. However, if this is the main reason why don't they photograph anything and everything rather than their own face 100 times over? (By the way Thomas I love the anecdotal stories you include in your posts about your ancestors, and families in Sweden in the past.)

On the matter of being reluctant to acknowledge that a person came from a humble background JJ Reyes' idea that they don't want to be reminded of their past might well hold true for many people, but to be honest, I again think that this is too simple an explanation. Filipinos are always saying what a happy childhood they had and how wonderful life was, and is, back in their home Provinces. Why would they then not want to tell the world about it? Also most of the people I am talking about may be those who have 'made' it by escaping from the confines of their backgrounds. In the Western world very many people are only too happy to tell others how they had a deprived upbringing but are now a success. (Look at me now!) Filipinos are not at all reluctant or shy about comparing themselves with others to make themselves feel good. Surely one of the best ways to do this is to say to the world- "Look where I came from and look at me now,"- not to deny their heritage?

Anyway- what do I know? I just find the matter curious and inconsistent.

Chris McG.

Edited May 24, 2013 by relcarve25