Problems With Filipinas

[donottrustfilipinas]

I had written a long post but because I had included a hyperlink to wikipedia page, I'm guessing that the page was not uploaded as there must a rule against inserting links to outside websites.  Oh well, I was trying to respond to a number of posts.  

 

Recently, I did a test of a Filipina dating website and uploaded a profile of myself and was honest about my looks, my life, etc.  This was not done this time with the intent of looking for a Filipina but rather to show how QUICKLY Filipinas JUMP on someone NEW on the site.   In the course over just over an hour, I had twelve women showing interest and some writing emails. Wow, I must be quite something!  NOT!  I'm no different from any ordinary guy although I'm a bit shorter and bit overweight but that has no bearing on these Filipinas!  Oddly, I don't have this type of result on women in the States on dating websites.  Hmmm, I wonder what makes me so incredibly appealing to Filipinas then? Someone out there tell me!  

 

Just based on my sad experiences, I feel justified in saying Filipinas can't be trusted.   Perhaps you have a good one but from my perspective, these older guys are basically walking "retirement policies" for these "ladies" that supposedly have given their hearts to them.  Once he kicks the bucket in his seventies/eighties (ideally earlier), she'll still be young enough (in her mind) to do what she wants with the inheritance and other assets.  Perhaps it will be to help the grandchildren of her brothers/sisters still back in the Philippines to help them through college or start a business.  Or maybe she just wants the assurance she'll never go back to being poor as she was in the province from which she came.  

 

There's no real statistics on how long most Filipina/Westerner marriages last other than those that post about how badly or how well their marriages have gone.  Personally, I'm of the opinion (no facts to back it up) that most of these marriages are doomed to failure unless there is really good communication and love between the two.  Some on this forum have the rarity --- a successful marriage with a Filipina that has lasted long term and may actually have true love for both.  I think though it's a LOT harder/rarer than marriage with someone that one has spent a lot of time with one-on-one and not through emails/online chats.  You know her true character and how she really feels about you.

 

I know this is a forum for expats in the Philippines and the reason I posted here is because men searching about relationships with Filipinas will stumble upon this site and they should know that getting involved with a Filipina online is one fraught with risks higher than normal for heartbreak and betrayal.  Whenever one person in a relationship is not around the other for a majority of the time, you can't know what he or she is doing or how they really feel about you.  

 

I know what it's like to be an expat.  I lived and worked in Japan for five years and had relationships with Japanese women there.  The Japanese women there weren't desperate to leave Japan for a better life elsewhere. All that I dated had well-paying jobs, traveled abroad once or twice a year, and lived well in the city I lived in.   I did not marry a Japanese woman because most did not share the same religious beliefs as I do -- Christian -- and I could not spend a lifetime with someone who didn't have a belief in God.  Those that were Christian and Japanese, I found we had different plans in life and we didn't ever get to the point of ever thinking about getting married. 

[MikeB]

I had written a long post but because I had included a hyperlink to wikipedia page, I'm guessing that the page was not uploaded as there must a rule against inserting links to outside websites.

 That didn't happen. There is no such rule except for links to other Philippines' forums or blogs. If your link violated the forum rules it would be removed, not the entire post.

 

[Dave Hounddriver]

Recently, I did a test of a Filipina dating website and uploaded a profile of myself and was honest about my looks, my life, etc.  This was not done this time with the intent of looking for a Filipina but rather to show how QUICKLY Filipinas JUMP on someone NEW on the site.   In the course over just over an hour, I had twelve women showing interest and some writing emails. Wow, I must be quite something!  NOT!  I'm no different from any ordinary guy

 

What you have proven is how many potential scammers jump on the new guy.  The average filipina could not even be bothered with dating sites except as an afterthought.  A lot of average filipinas without boyfriends do not have the cash for computers, Internet, or Internet cafe.  So who do you think you are you going to find by looking on line?

 

I suggest that using the same method over and over will yield the same results and your 'experiment' appears to support that conclusion.

 

Some guys find their partner on line.  It can be done.  There are potential partners using school, work and friends computers.  There are potential partners who have money.  Some have jobs, some are widowed, some have relatives who are generous.  But you have to be careful.

 

I find your belief that filipinas are looking to find a man and move out of the country to get a better life just wrong.  Of course they want to travel, as much as anyone would.  Of course they want a better life, as much as anyone would.  Of course they take advantage of idiots, much as a used car salesman does back home.  But move here and show your partner a good life in the Philippines and she will be thrilled.

 

BTW, the days of mail order brides are over.  Calling them Internet brides does not work any better.  You just cannot order a wife from a pretty picture somewhere and expect any more than what you have already found.  You need to give your head a shake.

 

I know what it's like to be an expat.  I lived and worked in Japan for five years and had relationships with Japanese women there.  The Japanese women there weren't desperate to leave Japan for a better life elsewhere

 

People that actually come to the Philippines to be an expat and find a partner do as well as you suggest you did with the Japanese women there.  Perhaps that is what you should write about as that is what you know about.  Are there Japanese expat forums that would welcome you?  Go for it!

[Thomas]

In the course over just over an hour, I had twelve women showing interest and some writing emails. Wow, I must be quite something!  NOT!  I'm no different from any ordinary guy although I'm a bit shorter and bit overweight but that has no bearing on these Filipinas!  Oddly, I don't have this type of result on women in the States on dating websites.  Hmmm, I wonder what makes me so incredibly appealing to Filipinas then? Someone out there tell me!  

Well. At the Philippines many think fat is a GOOD sign. (=Some think fat is a sign of wealth, although crap food China chips have started making some rather poor Filipin people fat too.)

In a local beaty contest at Mindanao a year ago, fat wonn both the female and the male class. (The male was very fat.)

A very fat American told he told his Filipina wife he planed to go on died to reduce weight. Her respoms was:

-Nooooooooo!    

:lol:

 

It's common economy is one factor when (mainly women) chose partner, in western countries too, but less and less the more women earn by themselves. BUT it's a huge difference between:

/doing it to scam/get RICH, not bothering about other factors

/doing it to survive

/or just having surviving SECURITY as ONE of the factors...  

 

--

BUT it seem you have an ATTITUDE problem. I don't look any special either, most western women don't notice me when I do nothing, but don't let me in peace when I put on charm an charisma, so mostly I DON'T put them on   :hystery:  

(I'm not married, because it's hard to find women suiting BOTH my very serious hard concentrated "working side" and my bohemic relaxed "joking side" which I switch fast between depending of situation. I have even said "No thanks" to a funny, clever - rather rich  :)  - young Swedish woman, looking as a young Dolly Parton - the HEAD part  :)    because my "working side" didn't found her thinking ahead enough.  But now I have reduced my minimum demands a bit, because I better start a family before it's to late.)

And I believe it's a better potential to get good caretaking at old age in the Philippines than in Sweden  :)   I mean if finding a good family or at least wife.

I think though it's a LOT harder/rarer than marriage with someone that one has spent a lot of time with one-on-one and not through emails/online chats.  You know her true character and how she really feels about you.

Yes, sure. And because of the cultural differences, that meeting time better be MORE than in between people from same culture, so not odd if it's a high marriage failer percentage, when couples decide to marry after meeting only short periods...

Whenever one person in a relationship is not around the other for a majority of the time, you can't know what he or she is doing or how they really feel about you.  

Well. Sure biger risk, when living appart. BUT I remind you over 50% of WESTERNERS have cheated even when living TOGETHER... :bash:  :)

[i am bob]

I'm really starting to wonder....  Is our OP somebody who was banned from this site and has just come back to try and make us look bad?  Or is the OP really that inept in relationships?  Can't find a "good" Filipina?  Can't find a good Japanese lady?  Can't find a good American woman?  Maybe you should try the Antarctic!  Sorry if I sound a little rough about this but all these general insults towards all Filipinas are insults against my Special Someone as well as all our wives and girlfriends.  As for your comment about educating members (and new members) of this forum of what to expect?  You're just proving my point.  Grow up!  Change your attitude towards women and life - and then maybe, just maybe, somewhere in this world you might be lucky enough to find someone who can tolerate you.

[Thomas]

 Is our OP somebody who was banned from this site and has just come back to try and make us look bad?

I think we look good   :lol:

[Jake]

I'm really starting to wonder....  Is our OP somebody who was banned from this site and has just come back to try and make us look bad?  Or is the OP really that inept in relationships?  Can't find a "good" Filipina?  Can't find a good Japanese lady?  Can't find a good American woman?  Maybe you should try the Antarctic!  Sorry if I sound a little rough about this but all these general insults towards all Filipinas are insults against my Special Someone as well as all our wives and girlfriends.  As for your comment about educating members (and new members) of this forum of what to expect?  You're just proving my point.  Grow up!  Change your attitude towards women and life - and then maybe, just maybe, somewhere in this world you might be lucky enough to find someone who can tolerate you.

Grow up!  Change your attitude towards women and life - and then maybe, just maybe, somewhere in this world you might 

be lucky enough to find someone who can tolerate you.

 

Wow.....triple ouch with a triple like!  I also believe that OP is jerking us around, inciting most of us to feed

his adversarial attitude towards our wonderful Pinays.  He brags about the thousands of women here in

the States that are more appealing to him.  Perhaps the OP should tell us his wonderful stories about those

encounters.  

 

Oh never mind......I would rather take my morning dump instead.

 

Donottrustblondandblueeyes -- Jake

[jpbago]

  Perhaps you have a good one but from my perspective, these older guys are basically walking "retirement policies" for these "ladies" that supposedly have given their hearts to them.  Once he kicks the bucket in his seventies/eighties (ideally earlier), she'll still be young enough (in her mind) to do what she wants with the inheritance and other assets.

 

The life expectancy of the foreigners is 15 to 20 years more than it is for the Filipinas. Do the math. I know of 2 that lost their wives.

 

Some of these expats don,t have a lot of money to leave behind. Or they have a will made out with other plans.

[donottrustfilipinas]

Hello all,

 

There seems to be those that think I'm simply trolling and trying to make Filipinas look bad.  If you are going to have a forum in a democratic society, then viewpoints that are not your own will sometimes be expressed.  Your experience and thoughts may differ but you should have the opinion that they should at least be expressed.   But the moderator(s) of this forum are the ones in control and I defer to them and whatever they choose to do in regards to mine or anyone else's posts.  

 

Yes, some Filipinas can be wonderful wives -- I am not denying that.  I only argue that meeting them (as well as other third world nationalities) as the worst possible way to get to know them.  Some of you moved to the Philippines first and then met your future wife there.  You had time to get to know their true character, their families, friends, and so on just as you would have had you met and married someone in the States (or whatever first world nation you are from).   There lies the best road for a successful long-term relationship.  

 

I have admitted to stupidly being involved with Filipinas that I met online and stupidly trusted as I thought each was different and that a bad apple couldn't be picked from the tree yet again.  I  was wrong.  What makes Filipino men so terrible that Filipinas must, in droves, search for a man elsewhere?  Are these men womanizers, cheaters, heartless and cruel to their Filipina girlfriends and wives - driving them to seek out the gentle and loving western man?  That seems to be the case if you get to talking to these Filipinas online! 

 

I think it's ludicrous to actually believe that.  There are thousands of Filipino men that would make good husbands but many of them can't provide the lifestyle that Filipinas see on TV, in movies, and from the girl friend that married the "rich" westerner and is settled in a townhouse in the outskirts of Chicago and emailing about how nice it is with all the trees and that she loves driving the car her hubby bought for her and the driving lessons she's taking now.

 

There is an amazing amount of teaching that has to go on with a Filipina (or other third world nationality) when they are brought over as a new wife to, in this case, the States.  I know because I went through it with my ex-wife.  It was like teaching a teenager.  She had to learn to drive.  She didn't understand about checking accounts.   She had to relearn to the American concept of work and applying for a job as her resume was the Filipino way and job interviews are different (for the record, she wanted to work and I supported in her in what she wanted to do).  I had to search the job listings for her as she had no idea if a job listing that she liked was going to be nearby or not.  I had to write the cover letters to employers so that her "Filipino English" didn't show up and ruin her chances for an interview.  The supermarket was different for her as well as the idea of using coupons.  I had to explain the whole thing about products in the supermarket having USE BY, SELL BY, BEST IF USED BY, and other markings so that she understood that milk, for example, didn't have to be thrown away by the SELL BY date as she was doing at first.  She was afraid to walk on the residential streets (it was a safe neighborhood) because it had so few people walking during the daytime -- compared to the streets in the Philippines where it would have dozens, if not more, at any time. 

 

So if any man chooses, as I did, to meet and marry a Filipina online, and bring her to his country to live, is indeed very much a crap shoot.  Maybe she will turn out to be a good woman after finally being able to do what other adult women already in the U.S are capable or maybe she will turn out as a beautiful woman that really cares not for him but what he has given her in terms of his income and assets and a much better lifestyle than to which she was accustomed. 

[Thomas]

There are thousands of Filipino men that would make good husbands but many of them can't provide the lifestyle that Filipinas see on TV

Well. Sure there are both these situations,

but there are also many who leave Filipinas with kids they have made together not paying anything undepending of if they were married or not... Some westerners do the same too to Filipinas    :bash:  :th_unfair:

There is an amazing amount of teaching that has to go on with a Filipina (or other third world nationality) when they are brought over as a new wife to, in this case, the States.

Sure. But how come you find that remarkable?? I suppouse you would have much to learn, if you would move to the Philippines...  

I have studied the Philippines almost full time over a year and I have only started   :)