Can You Have Your Cake And Eat It Too?

[Medic Mike]

 

Let me be sure I have this straight.  I cannot count the number of posts I have read over the years where a filipina is doing the exact same thing and words like scammer and dragon lady get thrown around.  But when a male buddy does it he is a 'good ole boy'?

 

I'm not going to say he is right or wrong but I would not call him a buddy.  I would refer to him as an acquaintance, or someone I know, and I would separate myself from him.  Not because he has more than one girl on a hook, but because he has encouraged both to fall in love with him.  Search for a post I made a year ago about a young girl committing suicide when some stud pulled that sh** and you may get where I am coming from.

 

If its just sex then fine.  If he wants to be a bigamist then  :bash:

As always Dave, right to the point.  Forget about the legality, or the fun.  We're all human and need to be treated with respect.  MM, your mate is having fun, but he really needs to consider the moral side and think about how it's going to affect both women.  I'm assuming that they don't know about each other?

 

Just so you know, despite my current employment, I'm a social worker studying for my masters and am very cognizant of mental health issues and how the seemingly mundane and frivolous can affect people.  What may seem like harmless fun to some may be having a profound effect on others.  I think your friend needs to show some respect and consideration to both these woman and have a think about how he would feel if he was on the other end of a similar situation.  

 

Just for the record Dave; I do judge my friends, they do a lot of things I don't agree with at times on many levels; but the people I call friends are those that I know will be there for me if things go to sh&t, no matter what.  My friends, despite their societal norm shortcomings in some cases, are those I can count on when the sh&t hits the fan despite our differences. I return that in kind.  

 

Thanks Brett....the bottom line is, he is really in love with both these women, it is not a matter of having fun, which is not really what he is doing, he is actually really committed to both of these ladies. Like I have told him, crunch time is coming on account these ladies would like children. "Zac" is a little younger than me, so kids are not totally off the table. My advice, that is the perfect out for one of these relationships....just say because of his age, he does not see himself having children again. That should be an out for one of the girls.

[BrettGC]

 

 

Let me be sure I have this straight.  I cannot count the number of posts I have read over the years where a filipina is doing the exact same thing and words like scammer and dragon lady get thrown around.  But when a male buddy does it he is a 'good ole boy'?

 

I'm not going to say he is right or wrong but I would not call him a buddy.  I would refer to him as an acquaintance, or someone I know, and I would separate myself from him.  Not because he has more than one girl on a hook, but because he has encouraged both to fall in love with him.  Search for a post I made a year ago about a young girl committing suicide when some stud pulled that sh** and you may get where I am coming from.

 

If its just sex then fine.  If he wants to be a bigamist then  :bash:

As always Dave, right to the point.  Forget about the legality, or the fun.  We're all human and need to be treated with respect.  MM, your mate is having fun, but he really needs to consider the moral side and think about how it's going to affect both women.  I'm assuming that they don't know about each other?

 

Just so you know, despite my current employment, I'm a social worker studying for my masters and am very cognizant of mental health issues and how the seemingly mundane and frivolous can affect people.  What may seem like harmless fun to some may be having a profound effect on others.  I think your friend needs to show some respect and consideration to both these woman and have a think about how he would feel if he was on the other end of a similar situation.  

 

Just for the record Dave; I do judge my friends, they do a lot of things I don't agree with at times on many levels; but the people I call friends are those that I know will be there for me if things go to sh&t, no matter what.  My friends, despite their societal norm shortcomings in some cases, are those I can count on when the sh&t hits the fan despite our differences. I return that in kind.  

 

Thanks Brett....the bottom line is, he is really in love with both these women, it is not a matter of having fun, which is not really what he is doing, he is actually really committed to both of these ladies. Like I have told him, crunch time is coming on account these ladies would like children. "Zac" is a little younger than me, so kids are not totally off the table. My advice, that is the perfect out for one of these relationships....just say because of his age, he does not see himself having children again. That should be an out for one of the girls.

 

 

Great OP though MM, made me smile.  I guess you can have your cake and eat it too but at the end of the day, if you're half a human being that's lived a little, been through the ups and downs of life, you'd make a decision one way or the other.  I guess, as hard as it is sometimes; treat people how you want to be treated.  I remember the boss man of these forums commenting on one of my posts after I said "be polite, respectful and friendly and it will be returned".  He said "when have you ever seen anyone in PH saying please or thank you?" (paraphrasing here, but that was the ghist of the response).  You know what?  On every visit to PH on my part, I make friends, regardless of how they react to my demenour.  It's far easier to be layed back than it is to be confrontational and arrogant as a westerner in PH.  Takes less energy and at the end of the day I'm a lazy bugger :)

[Medic Mike]

 

 

 

Let me be sure I have this straight.  I cannot count the number of posts I have read over the years where a filipina is doing the exact same thing and words like scammer and dragon lady get thrown around.  But when a male buddy does it he is a 'good ole boy'?

 

I'm not going to say he is right or wrong but I would not call him a buddy.  I would refer to him as an acquaintance, or someone I know, and I would separate myself from him.  Not because he has more than one girl on a hook, but because he has encouraged both to fall in love with him.  Search for a post I made a year ago about a young girl committing suicide when some stud pulled that sh** and you may get where I am coming from.

 

If its just sex then fine.  If he wants to be a bigamist then  :bash:

As always Dave, right to the point.  Forget about the legality, or the fun.  We're all human and need to be treated with respect.  MM, your mate is having fun, but he really needs to consider the moral side and think about how it's going to affect both women.  I'm assuming that they don't know about each other?

 

Just so you know, despite my current employment, I'm a social worker studying for my masters and am very cognizant of mental health issues and how the seemingly mundane and frivolous can affect people.  What may seem like harmless fun to some may be having a profound effect on others.  I think your friend needs to show some respect and consideration to both these woman and have a think about how he would feel if he was on the other end of a similar situation.  

 

Just for the record Dave; I do judge my friends, they do a lot of things I don't agree with at times on many levels; but the people I call friends are those that I know will be there for me if things go to sh&t, no matter what.  My friends, despite their societal norm shortcomings in some cases, are those I can count on when the sh&t hits the fan despite our differences. I return that in kind.  

 

Thanks Brett....the bottom line is, he is really in love with both these women, it is not a matter of having fun, which is not really what he is doing, he is actually really committed to both of these ladies. Like I have told him, crunch time is coming on account these ladies would like children. "Zac" is a little younger than me, so kids are not totally off the table. My advice, that is the perfect out for one of these relationships....just say because of his age, he does not see himself having children again. That should be an out for one of the girls.

 

 

Great OP though MM, made me smile.  I guess you can have your cake and eat it too but at the end of the day, if you're half a human being that's lived a little, been through the ups and downs of life, you'd make a decision one way or the other.  I guess, as hard as it is sometimes; treat people how you want to be treated.  I remember the boss man of these forums commenting on one of my posts after I said "be polite, respectful and friendly and it will be returned".  He said "when have you ever seen anyone in PH saying please or thank you?" (paraphrasing here, but that was the ghist of the response).  You know what?  On every visit to PH on my part, I make friends, regardless of how they react to my demenour.  It's far easier to be layed back than it is to be confrontational and arrogant as a westerner in PH.  Takes less energy and at the end of the day I'm a lazy bugger :)

 

Well said Brett :) ...we are going to have to catch up for a beer soon :)

[Bruce]

I think your friend Zac is a stand up kind of guy. (Jake has already pinned Zac's picture up on his refrigerator) While there are some sticking points. Relationships come and go. Start and end. It is what happens in between that is important and hopefully if the relationship ends, it does not end badly.

 

In the limited information you gave, Zac has done more than was required for these 2 women. Each now has a much better chance at a brighter future. As do their families all from your friend Zac. 

 

Also, I think that most members here are looking at things from a western point of view. Whereas Mormon men have in the current and the past, had multiple relationships as do muslim men.

 

We all have heard the many stories of a Pinay in a relationship with a foreigner and still having a boy friend or husband that she introduces as her brother or cousin.

 

So, there is a chance that Zac can continue this, albeit after informing both women that THIS is the was it was and THIS is how it will continue... Or Zac will be looking for lucky #3. With each on a different island and depending on Zac's financial strength, Zac may be in the driver's seat for a long time.

 

Here is to you Zac! :thumbsup:  :cheersty:

[Medic Mike]

I think your friend Zac is a stand up kind of guy. (Jake has already pinned Zac's picture up on his refrigerator) While there are some sticking points. Relationships come and go. Start and end. It is what happens in between that is important and hopefully if the relationship ends, it does not end badly.

 

In the limited information you gave, Zac has done more than was required for these 2 women. Each now has a much better chance at a brighter future. As do their families all from your friend Zac. 

 

Also, I think that most members here are looking at things from a western point of view. Whereas Mormon men have in the current and the past, had multiple relationships as do muslim men.

 

We all have heard the many stories of a Pinay in a relationship with a foreigner and still having a boy friend or husband that she introduces as her brother or cousin.

 

So, there is a chance that Zac can continue this, albeit after informing both women that THIS is the was it was and THIS is how it will continue... Or Zac will be looking for lucky #3. With each on a different island and depending on Zac's financial strength, Zac may be in the driver's seat for a long time.

 

Here is to you Zac! :thumbsup:  :cheersty:

LOL...thanks for that Bruce, I actually started this thread for "Zac" so he can get some different opnions. I can tell you he is not looking for #3...lol....he really was not looking for the situation he is in. I can kind of relate, I really suck at confrontations with females in general. I have been in relationships months too long, cause I wanted to put off the tears of the breakup which I knew I should have done months before.

[Bruce]

I actually started this thread for "Zac" so he can get some different opnions.

 

Sure Zac, er I mean Mike, glad to help!  :cheersty:

[Medic Mike]

 

I actually started this thread for "Zac" so he can get some different opnions.

 

Sure Zac, er I mean Mike, glad to help!  :cheersty:

 

lol....I wish...lol....I have enough trouble with one pretty pinoy.....now where did I leave that credit card last...hehe

[BrettGC]

All I have to add in a meaningful way to this conversation is that I miss my goats.

[Old55]

Some one is going to be hurt and the longer it goes on the deeper that pain.

[Bruce]

All I have to add in a meaningful way to this conversation is that I miss my goats.

 

Oh! So that is why you wear Levi 501 button down jeans......... :hystery: