Doesn't Help To Be A Good Man, When They'll Never Meet

[CebuAndy]

Last months I used Internet dating and made many contacts. When I arrived here last weekend, I had 200+ phone numbers. Monday I started texting them, and suggested a date in a mall daytime. 6 days later, and none of my contacts from internet dating have meet me. None. Zero.

 

So I took a critical look at my profile on a internet dating site.

It says I'm looking for a serious longtime relationship, that my location is Cebu and I plan to stay here forever. 

Is that the problem maybe?

I also say that I do not expect sex on a first date, so no need to worry. This should make them feel comfortable and safe. I also ask for a date in a mall daytime, to help them feel safe, when meeting a stranger. I post many photos of myself.

 

I get so many messages and c.p.numbers, but I can't get a date ???

I usually get  No load or No money for fare.

They have money for internet cafe Php15 or more per hour, but they claim they don't have load or Php8-16 for the jeepney to a mall. :bonk:

 

Someone please enlighten me about the Filipina mindset. :1 (103):

What am I doing wrong here?

 

This happen to me last time I was here to, so I ask myself: Are they really searching for a partner?

In comparison, in Thailand we always use introductions true friends, but the problem here in Cebu is that you're all located all around the island, or another island. So we seldom/never meet up.

 

Doesn't help to be a good man, when the ladies never meet

Fire away :1 (72):

Edited August 3, 2013 by CebuAndy

[MikeB]

It sounds like you're dealing with young 'uns. Try putting in an age delimiter like 25+ ONLY. Should filter most out which is mainly what the whole thing is about.

[robert k]

200 numbers? How well do you know any of them? If you don't know them any better than I think you do, you might as well just start introducing yourself to any woman who looks at you and does not frown, since you are here you might as well not waste time.

 

I think it was great that you were up front but possibly telling them you don't expect sex on the first date was a little too much? Maybe they were worried about the second date? You might consider removing that don't expect sex on the first date part and see if you get any new hits and go from there.

 

Only slightly related, always end on a positive note. Get all the bad, dull and boring stuff out of the way so that all you have left is the good. People usually aren't listening anyway and if whatever you end with is positive and good, people leave with the impression that you are an upbeat person. :) Be enthusiastic. It couldn't hurt.

[CebuAndy]

robert k: in the start I got messages saying we foreigners only want fun with the girl - that's why I later added that I don't look for sex. That's why I still think it's a good idea to be honest about this. I don't expect fun on the first date, I want the lady to be sure about this. Seems that you're judging me. No, I am not interested in 'throwing me at any lady who give me the eye'. Heavens know we get plenty of eyes and smiles when out around. I think a decent serious lady don't smile / stare at foreigners, so I rather avoid those who do. How well do I know them? Sent messages for 2 months, prior to my arrival. Been living in Asia since year 2000.

 

MikeB: I send/reply messages to age up to 40, so I'm realistic.

 

My profile says please dont message me if you don't have  cell phone - don't have load to reply - don't have money for fare.

 

Messages received this morning copy/paste =

 

1: i dont have cellphone sorry, not now we meet bcoz i dont have money to pay jeep togo ayala.

 

2: sorry sir, i dont have budget for my fare, but if you will sen me only for a fare.. promise i will meet you.

 

3: hello sorry i dont hve load now hope u undrstand me.

 

4: ok .. but i dont have cp.

 

- but they all have money for internet cafe, or online from mobile .......

Edited August 3, 2013 by CebuAndy

[robert k]

CebuAndy, I was not judging you, except possibly you were going too far a little too fast, and maybe it sounds a little presumptuous to tell them you don't expect sex on the first date? That you would think you had to tell them that?

 

As for the 200 and how well you know them, I know how hard it can be to really have a meaningful conversation with a Filipina you have only known for days and only from the internet. If you search you can probably find my post on the matter, about how I would pour out the short version of my life in a couple thousand words and at the end of the conversation I would know that their favorite color was blue and they like to eat spaghetti, and usually only that much because I insisted on at least a few answers from them.

 

I certainly meant no offence and I apologize if I gave any. I believe it's possible that you told 200 women about you but that you actually know these 200 filipinas very well? Of the women I talked to, I would estimate that it would take me about 5 years to break through the defenses and actually learn something about that many Filipinas if I only had 3 or 4 hours a evening to work on it. I'm fully willing to believe that you are better at it than I am but I would be surprised if you were that much better. I think logically, if you were that much better at it, I wouldn't have answered this post because it would not have existed. No offense meant.

 

I meant what I said in a light hearted manner, you may have noticed the smilie :) . I thought the advice was good to talk to and ask for the number of any woman who smiled back at you because when whatever you are doing isn't working, it's time to try something else. I will wish you the best of luck.

[Old55]

Well I think there could be more to this story but that's just me.

[CebuAndy]

Old55: like what ?

Maybe most here are in a relationship, and haven't used internet dating for a while. Things are changing, Gentlemen.

I pasted the replies, which is typical of what I receive these days - so what more is it to the story?

I change my profile text weekly, and a friend comes with ideas. Still, what I pasted before, is what I get in my mailbox.

I'm eagerly waiting to know, what's more to the story?

 

Many of you have long time gf and wifes - Filipina - so you should know - what's the secret about their mind, and what do they really want from Internet dating? Just boredom, and not really searching? I don't know - but some of you guys should know them, better than I.

 

I'm a good guy, want a good girl, for serious long time relationship. Somehow, I still fail.

 

Sometimes I wish I hadn't posted ...

[jon1]

Why waste your time with the Internet? You are in Cebu and can easily find a good woman in person. Just go to the mall and check out the shoppers. Last time I went to the big Ayala mall there, I felt like I was in a meat market and I was the ribeye special! I even had my woman in hand and was still getting bold looks.

 

If you are working too hard you are wrong..... my .02

[Medic Mike]

Why waste your time with the Internet? You are in Cebu and can easily find a good woman in person. Just go to the mall and check out the shoppers. Last time I went to the big Ayala mall there, I felt like I was in a meat market and I was the ribeye special! I even had my woman in hand and was still getting bold looks.

 

If you are working too hard you are wrong..... my .02

I agree very much with Jon, I went down that internet road about 2 years ago, and found that only about 20 percent of the ladies I made contact with were really online for the right reasons. When I finally started meeting them, I then found only half of them were really interested in me. Long story made short, the girls I did meet, nothing in common, no magic.

 

I ended up in SM mall one day shopping for presents for friends, and ended up meeting a terrific girl working in one of the dress shops. My advice, be yourself, go shopping and visit the local malls. Find a Filipina that you fancy, strike up some small talk, maybe buy her and her friends lunch or something like that, and let nature take its course. :)

[Americano]

robert k: in the start I got messages saying we foreigners only want fun with the girl - that's why I later added that I don't look for sex. That's why I still think it's a good idea to be honest about this. I don't expect fun on the first date, I want the lady to be sure about this. Seems that you're judging me. No, I am not interested in 'throwing me at any lady who give me the eye'. Heavens know we get plenty of eyes and smiles when out around. I think a decent serious lady don't smile / stare at foreigners, so I rather avoid those who do. How well do I know them? Sent messages for 2 months, prior to my arrival. Been living in Asia since year 2000.

 

MikeB: I send/reply messages to age up to 40, so I'm realistic.

 

My profile says please dont message me if you don't have  cell phone - don't have load to reply - don't have money for fare.

 

Messages received this morning copy/paste =

 

1: i dont have cellphone sorry, not now we meet bcoz i dont have money to pay jeep togo ayala.

 

2: sorry sir, i dont have budget for my fare, but if you will sen me only for a fare.. promise i will meet you.

 

3: hello sorry i dont hve load now hope u undrstand me.

 

4: ok .. but i dont have cp.

 

- but they all have money for internet cafe, or online from mobile .......

 

Andy,

 

Its possible to meet nice ladies on the Internet dating sites but the women who sent the 4 messages that you shared with us seem to be hoping you will send some money to them before you even meet them. That's an indication of what they really want. 

 

I agree with those who said to walk around in the malls and you will see many women that you may be interested in getting to know. My suggestion is to go in stores and meet women who are working. Women who work are less apt to be looking for a sugar daddy and less apt to be lazy.