What Am I Getting Myself Into?

[Classic Dry]

Forgive me if I'm wrong ( it has been known ) but this to me sounds like a "Damsel in Distress Syndrome" thing.

 

The knight in shining armour comes along, and saves the D in D, and wins her love and loyalty for ever and ever.

 

Well, could be. Stranger things have happened.

 

I'm sorry, I'm just a cynical old basterd.

 

 

 

I'll just get my coat.

[Thomas]

My friend said that filipinas view compassion as a weakness to be exploited. It is what they learn when being raised in a struggle to survive.

Well. I suppouse it can be true in MANY cases,

BUT NOT concerning all, because I know some poor Filipinas, who are to proud to want any assistance.  (Or perhaps they are VERY clever and try to get more in the long run by PRETEND to be   :)   but I believe these few ment it.)

[Michealusa]

Forgive me if I'm wrong ( it has been known ) but this to me sounds like a "Damsel in Distress Syndrome" thing.

 

The knight in shining armour comes along, and saves the D in D, and wins her love and loyalty for ever and ever.

 

Well, could be. Stranger things have happened.

 

I'm sorry, I'm just a cynical old basterd.

 

 

 

I'll just get my coat.

Yes you might be right about that- I don't think my armor is as shiny as it once was. I may take a pass on this lady.

[Michealusa]

Getting in over your head? Yes, run.

 

First impression: run, second impression, same thing.

 

My brother who is generally not a mental giant does have a firm grasp on the idea that you do not want drama in your life. To keep drama from your life, you need to have the willpower to say no! to drama. If someone wants to bring drama to your table, inform them that you did not order it and send it back as you would with the wrong dish at a resteraunt. Just say no.

I have personally known some expertly manipulative women, unfortunately for them I am detail oriented. Example, when they say they don't understand why I will not accept their apology, I tell them because they have not yet apologized, and asking why I won't accept their apology is not the same as an apology, just something to watch for, good luck.

I like the way you put your comment. I am thinking I don't need so much drama and problems.

[Michealusa]

 

she divorced him in the US,

and she moved back to the Philippines.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,But she told me she never stayed long enough

to get a green card and she cant marry in the philippines.

 

 

she claims that she is divorced in the USA and moved back here and that she cant REMARRY?

 part of that is TRUE . if one has divorced abroad she/he can remarry BUT they have several steps to do in order to 

"freely marry again"

 

perhaps she is ignorant or has obtain faulty information regarding what she can do

.which is not the 1st time any Filipino/a has received poor advice

or she doesnt want to spend the money/time or effort.

 

 if she has been divorced,,,

if 1 is internet savvy, why not search that record on-line,

as many state/local and federal

court cases/documents are now listed on -line  :photo-109:

 

.. regarding her "legal issue" ask her to obtain her NBI and local police clearance. if she claims she cant,,, she is not worth any further time or effort.

why ask for that? if she really has a "court case" it may appear on them.

 

here is an article that may explain it better

 

Dear PAO,

I am a Filipino and I am married to an American for almost four years now.

We had our civil wedding.

He went back to the United States after we got married and that was when things started to fall apart. He told me that he will file for divorce in the United States

and will just send me a copy of the court’s decision.

Does this mean that I can marry again, or do I still have to file a petition in court?

Can my husband remarry in the Philippines? Will he need to file a petition too?

Zel

 

Dear Zel,

You may be able to marry again afterr your husband validly obtains a divorce decree in the United States of America which capacitates him to enter into a new marriage.

This is in consonance with the second paragraph of Article 26 of the Family Code of the Philippines, as amended by Executive Order 227, which states that: “x x x Where a marriage between a Filipino citizen and a foreigner is validly celebrated and a divorce is thereafter validly obtained abroad by the alien spouse capacitating him or her to remarry, the Filipino spouse shall have capacity to remarry under Philippine law.”

 

However, we would like to emphasize that it is essential for you to file first a petition before our courts for the recognition of such decree of divorce before you may legally enter into a subsequent marriage.

Even if we do not have divorce here in the Philippines, foreign judgments, such as a divorce decree validly obtained abroad, may still be acknowledged as binding in the Philippines,

provided that our courts have passed upon the authenticity of such foreign judgment as well as the national law of the foreigner who sought for its issuance.

 

This is in consonance with the ruling of the Supreme Court in the case of Corpuz vs. Tirol Sto. Tomas (G.R. No. 186571, August 11, 2010): “x x x This means that the foreign judgment and its authenticity must be proven as facts under our rules on evidence, together with the alien’s applicable national law to show the effect of the judgment on the alien himself or herself. 

 

The recognition may be made in an action instituted specifically for the purpose or in another action where a party invokes the foreign decree as an integral aspect of his claim or defense. x x x”

Insofar as your husband is concerned,

he may not file a petition for recognition of the said divorce decree on the basis of the second paragraph of Article 26 of the Family Code of the Philippines. The benefit granted by this provision is only applicable to the Filipino spouse.

The alien spouse can claim no right therefrom (Corpuz vs. Tirol Sto. Tomas).

 

But this does not mean that he may no longer enter into a contract of marriage in the Philippines after validly obtaining a divorce decree in the United States.

 

(read this clearly.listed below)

 

He may still marry in the Philippines, provided that he institutes a petition for judicial recognition of the divorce decree, specifically for the purpose, and a competent Philippine court grants the same.

 

 

We hope that we were able to answer your queries. Please be reminded that this advice is based solely on the facts you have narrated and our appreciation of the same. Our opinion may vary when other facts are changed or elaborated.

 

http://manilatimes.net/petition-to-recognize-foreign-divorce-decree/1276/

 

(i smell something fishy? my gut feeling,its a Scam)

 

This sounds like it could get very complicated - I don't need that in my life.

[Michealusa]

The lady you have been exchanging emails with seems to have some issues but she could be special. I guess you would only know once you spend some time with her. Her older children are from a Filipino boy friend or the American guy? Are the children living with her? If you truly like this woman go spend some time with her and her family and friends then decide. The worst thing that could happen is you will have a great vacation and learn about Philippines.

I asked her yesterday about her children and heres what she told me.

She went to the USA and married a man who was abusive, he had a friend who is a black man( not that matters) who befriended her and helped her leave her abusive husband and she got pregnant by him. As soon as that happened he took off. Then she met a Filipio in the usa and was seeing him for a while and got pregnant by him. he had drug problems so his family helped her with the divorce and getting her back to the Philippines. This all happened between 1998 and 2003 when she left. She seems to be upfront about her life but without the other side of the strory I don' know what is true. Think I will just tell her it's too much for me to take on.

[Call me bubba]

Then she met a Filipio in the usa and was seeing him for a while and got pregnant by him. he had drug problems so his family helped her with the divorce and getting her back to the Philippines. This all happened between 1998 and 2003 when she left.

 

appears that her ;"children" are US citizens by birth,

what i dont understand is why she left unless she

didnt have proper "living/wotking "skills to stay. even then( correct me if i am wrong) the INS/USCIS had rules that

if was 1 was in a "abusive"relationship she/he could still live there and get some type of $$$ to stay,

 

again something smells fishy,

[Classic Dry]

 

Forgive me if I'm wrong ( it has been known ) but this to me sounds like a "Damsel in Distress Syndrome" thing.

 

The knight in shining armour comes along, and saves the D in D, and wins her love and loyalty for ever and ever.

 

Well, could be. Stranger things have happened.

 

I'm sorry, I'm just a cynical old basterd.

 

 

 

I'll just get my coat.

Yes you might be right about that- I don't think my armor is as shiny as it once was. I may take a pass on this lady.

 

Well, Michaelusa, if that's part of your personality ( and I'm not saying it is, just an if the cap fits sort of thing )

then it's possible that even if you abort this relationship you're in danger of going down the same road again,

subconsciously or even consciously.

 

For those people with this trait I imagine there are two expected benefits.

1. That the rescue itself would satisfy a need to feel worthy, needed, useful and good about oneself.

2. That the rescued person will be so grateful that her commitment and love for you will be deeper and more

    substantial than you might usually expect.

Sadly, in my experience, the first is shortlived and may even be cancelled out by the probable failure of the second.

 

My thoughts - Talk to Bruce who might put you in contact with people whose need for rescue are probably

                     more immediate and, I'd guess, more easily resolved.

                     And go home to a nice "uncomplicated woman"  ( forgive the oxymoron, just trying to simplify here )

 

If none of this applies to you then consider it the ramblings of a silly old fool and forget the whole post.

[MikeB]

We've gotten way outside the scope of the question and the OP has indicated he's made his decision re: this matter so I will close it.