A Common Very Odd Behaviour. Any Clues How Come?

[MacBubba]

I would just like to say that the behavior described above is not as pervasive as it sounds. I know a lot of Filipinos who will be aghast at this perception of them, for the simple reason that their upbringing was vastly different.

 

My wife is the youngest, and is the acknowledged spoiled baby.  That aside, anytime she erred in her ways, she had most family members point out what she did wrong, even if it meant embarrassing her.  She, in turn, is not shy to admonish anyone in the family for their infractions.  And this is how the family functions, with each one looking out for the other through thick and thin.  And, this is how they in turn raise their families.  That is the norm in the society that they move in.

[Dougbert]

MacBubba, is your asawa from a large city or small town/out in the province?  From what little I've seen, more rural areas tend to be more traditional about values/morals and may have fewer of these problems.  I've noticed that my fiancee's family in Lapu-Lapu City has more trouble like this than the ones who live in a rural part of Bohol (pretty much anywhere outside of Tubigon--haha).  Just wondering.

 

Similar things happen here in the US.  Small towns and rural areas, while they have their own problems, tend to stick to more traditional values and instill it into their kids.  You can't hide in a small town--somebody's mama is going to catch you being up to no good and everyone will know about it by the end of the day!  Cities aren't usually like that.

[Thomas]

I would just like to say that the behavior described above is not as pervasive as it sounds. I know a lot of Filipinos who will be aghast at this perception of them, for the simple reason that their upbringing was vastly different.

I didn't say "all", I say it's "very common", an obvious difference from what's common in Sweden. Sure there are missbehaving people here too, but here we e g FORCE fathers to pay support the kids they have left.

My wife is the youngest, and is the acknowledged spoiled baby. That aside, anytime she erred in her ways, she had most family members point out what she did wrong, even if it meant embarrassing her. She, in turn, is not shy to admonish anyone in the family for their infractions. And this is how the family functions, with each one looking out for the other through thick and thin. And, this is how they in turn raise their families. That is the norm in the society that they move in.

Meaning what they have moved TO, so they have CHANGED from the traditional culture?

[MacBubba]

MacBubba, is your asawa from a large city or small town/out in the province?

 

She's from Eastwood, Quezon City. 

[MacBubba]

MacBubba, on 27 Nov 2013 - 6:31 PM, said: My wife is the youngest, and is the acknowledged spoiled baby. That aside, anytime she erred in her ways, she had most family members point out what she did wrong, even if it meant embarrassing her. She, in turn, is not shy to admonish anyone in the family for their infractions. And this is how the family functions, with each one looking out for the other through thick and thin. And, this is how they in turn raise their families. That is the norm in the society that they move in.

Meaning what they have moved TO, so they have CHANGED from the traditional culture?

 

No, meaning the society that they move in - family and friends both in the Philippines and here in Canada.  And, no, they have not changed from their traditional culture.  In fact, that is how they were raised, and how they raise their families.  Maybe it's a case of birds of a feather flocking together, but they do not know too many people whose values differ greatly from theirs.  Discipline begins at home, regardless of age.

Edited November 28, 2013 by MacBubba

[MacBubba]

I don't know why, but in my last reply, Thomas' reply got appended to mine.  His reply begins at:  "Meaning they have moved TO..."

 

I think I've just fixed it.

Edited November 28, 2013 by MacBubba

[Thomas]

No, meaning the society that they move in - family and friends both in the Philippines and here in Canada. And, no, they have not changed from their traditional culture.

I believe that's a good EXCEPTION, because I have been told about the missbehaving behaviour from A LOT of places in Phils. From where in Phils are they?   I perhaps better settle there  :)

[Methersgate]

Look no further than the Senate.

 

You will find:

 

A man who master minded numerous military coups against the elected government

His right hand man, who led the actual coups

The son of a former dictator

Two sons of a former President, impeached for corruption, and now elected Mayor of Manila

...

 

If people won't "confront" people like this, they won't "confront" anyone!

[Jake]

I believe it would be a very odd behavior if ALL the people in power would show respect and support

for the masa, the common Filipino.  The culture of impunity, the culture of dependency and the culture

of not losing face are the driving force to keep this country in 3rd world status.

 

I beginning to think that Filipino family values are becoming less important because of modern day crab

mentality and jealousy.  In my opinion, the Filipino family are exploding with many step brothers, sisters,

unknown babies popping out everywhere and grandparents doing slave babysitting.   

 

Respectfully -- Jake

Edited July 15, 2014 by Jake
sentence structure

[Methersgate]

Jake - for some reason the board won't let me "like" your comment but I certainly do!. 

K comes from a farming family in Zamboanga del Sur; two sons, five daughters and at the moment fourteen grandchildren. Two daughters and a son live locally, one daughter married away and lives on Negros, where Mama and Papa originally came from, and two daughters and one son live in Quezon City and generate much of the hard cash in the family economy.  

I believe I am tolerably well informed, on a daily basis, not usually by K, but by assorted sisters in law, of the "misdeeds" and good deeds of almost everyone in the family, such as "x" borrowed some money...."x" has now paid it back.. "y" did well in her exams, "z" has been cutting school with his barkada,, and so on. There isn't any doubt about who is in charge - Mama is, with "Papa will hear of it" as a sort of ultimate deterrent. I cannot recall any great scandals, and since I hear so much detail of the little transgressions I expect I would know of the big ones.

 

There is no doubt that this family operates as a close social and economic unit. And I can see that if someone did something really dreadful, there would be no effective mechanism for excluding them. Maybe that is an explanation?     

Edited July 14, 2014 by Methersgate