A Filipina's Western Male Friends

[Jeff R]

Hello everyone! As this is my first post on this wonderful forum, I would like to thank and congratulate everyone on the wealth of information you make so readily available and the fellowship. 

 

Like many of you I have met my Filipina on a dating site. I followed all the advised protocol relating to using dating sites. I am confident that I found an honest one as she has passed all the concerns with flying colors. One piece of advice I have just learned about is to look at her Facebook, if in fact she has one. There is a wealth of information that you would not normally learn from a dating site or subsequent communications. Mine had a Facebook account and low and behold there were about 5 western male friends that were following her posts, liking her pictures, and sending her posts. When I questioned her she claimed they were just friends, some of which she met on the dating site prior to our meeting. I can say with utmost honesty I have never in my 63 yrs. had a jealous or insecure issue. But this is bothering me. Knowing my Filipina, she would stop any further ties with anyone if I had a problem with it or if she realized it would cause a problem with our relationship. (God I love her) Did anyone have this issue? Have any of your Filipina's retained their male friendships after the two of you became involved? Your feedback would be most welcoming. Thanks.

Edited January 2, 2014 by Jollygoodfellow
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[Jollygoodfellow]

Welcome to the forum.

I think you are over reacting and if you thought about it then maybe one would understand that she has probably been on Facebook for some time where most Filipinas accept any friend requests as it seems fashionable to have a high number of friends. 

There is a lot missing from your post such as how long you have known her?

Also you say you are not jealous so what is it that these others are saying to her on Facebook? Is there something wrong with liking a picture? Do you want her to just remove anyone else for you?

Another thing girls who have worked in bars often have western friends on FB so again please tell us how well you know her other than the dating site.

 

just trying to understand the facts here and please allow her to put her story to you as your suspicions could be wrong which means you may lose her.  :unsure:

[Thomas]

Mine had a Facebook account and low and behold there were about 5 western male friends that were following her posts, liking her pictures, and sending her posts.

Well.

Alternative 1:

Are you married yet? :) Otherwice I don't find it wrong by a (poor) Filipina to have "backup alternatives" until you are a STEADY couple being engaged/starting living together, because many Filipinas are "scamed" emotionaly by foreign men SAYING they will marry her, but never do, some not even ever come to visit, such foreigners having a "net fling" just for their own amusement :th_unfair:   I have several female friends complaining about such, being serious themselves in datingsites, but becoming disapointed many times...

 

Alternative 2:

They are REALY only friends. It's BAD to not allow gf/wife to have REAL male friends too...

 

Perhaps you can figuere out which it is by looking at what TYPES of coments/likings they do at her profile. But even IF one/some of them make coments of courting type, it's still possible your woman only think of them as friends herself.

(E g as young my sister had even mainly male friends. - Well.  Although several of them wanted her to become more than that, SHE thought of them as only friends   :)

[Medic Mike]

Hello everyone! As this is my first post on this wonderful forum, I would like to thank and congratulate everyone on the wealth of information you make so readily available and the fellowship. 

 

Like many of you I have met my Filipina on a dating site. I followed all the advised protocol relating to using dating sites. I am confident that I found an honest one as she has passed all the concerns with flying colors. One piece of advice I have just learned about is to look at her Facebook, if in fact she has one. There is a wealth of information that you would not normally learn from a dating site or subsequent communications. Mine had a Facebook account and low and behold there were about 5 western male friends that were following her posts, liking her pictures, and sending her posts. When I questioned her she claimed they were just friends, some of which she met on the dating site prior to our meeting. I can say with utmost honesty I have never in my 63 yrs. had a jealous or insecure issue. But this is bothering me. Knowing my Filipina, she would stop any further ties with anyone if I had a problem with it or if she realized it would cause a problem with our relationship. (God I love her) Did anyone have this issue? Have any of your Filipina's retained their male friendships after the two of you became involved? Your feedback would be most welcoming. Thanks.

I would not worry about it, like the boss said, it is not unusal for pinays to have a lot of male and female friends. I started with one pinay female friend on my facebook about 2 years ago, now I have several, most are friends of friends that end up asking you to add them. They just like lots of friends on their facebook pages.

[BrettGC]

OMG, she has friends from the same dating site you were on when you met her.... Surprise!

 

Mate, just chill, visit her and see how it pans out.  I have no doubt you have options so you can't blame her for having the same.  If she's a good one you'll soon work it out.  Remember it's not all about you all the time, these girls, by and large, are looking for the same thing you are. Here's the link to my rather long post about internet dating: 

 

http://www.philippines-expats.com/topic/15167-what-to-look-out-for-on-the-asian-dating-sites-warning-long-post/

 

Funny thing is, I didn't meet SAO (Short Angry One) on a dating site, but that's a story for another time. 

 

Just be careful, jaded and cynical and you'll do ok on them. 

 

SAO isn't my first filipina GF, but I was lucky.  First and I split due to artistic differences (she wanted more kids, I didn't).  We're still really good friends, and she's been a wealth of information with regards to women I met since we split with regards to mindset etc.  I met her on a site.  She now calls me Ni Tiyo. 

 

SAO and first have actually met, traded stories and had a great time at my expense.

 

Just be careful mate.  That's the only advice I can really give.

[davewe]

Like many of you I have met my Filipina on a dating site. I followed all the advised protocol relating to using dating sites. I am confident that I found an honest one as she has passed all the concerns with flying colors. One piece of advice I have just learned about is to look at her Facebook, if in fact she has one. There is a wealth of information that you would not normally learn from a dating site or subsequent communications. Mine had a Facebook account and low and behold there were about 5 western male friends that were following her posts, liking her pictures, and sending her posts.

Only 5? I think you need to prod her to get more friends :)

 

Honestly, a few FB friends in and of itself would not be a concern to me. I still have a number of Filipina friends on my FB, which my wives knows and understands (mostly).

 

OTOH a former Filipina gf of mine had two FB profiles - 1 for each of her bfs - so duplicity can happen.

 

Be careful, ask questions, but I would not bust her about having other make FB friends.

[jpbago]

Open a Facebook account in your name and when you get 1,000 friends (mostly Filipina) within a month, show it to her. She will make you a deal.

[Hewy09]

My asawa used to have a few western male friends and I was cool with it untill she started to have issues with the two filipinas on my friends list. Funny thing is they are her cousins and she was getting Jellious because they would comment on how gwapo I was! I ignored the comments but my asawa would get mad at me and have issues. Lol. I simply asked what's wrong with me having filipina friends as she had western male friends. Well the next day she un-friended the western men. She wanted me to do the same to the filipinas (cousins) what I did was give her my Facebook password and told her if she don't like it she can fix it. And she did go and un-friend them.

We have talked about it and she since then us ok with her cousins as my friends. I just purposely don't engage them in messages I just let my asawa chat with them.

I only use my Facebook to communicate with my asawa and her immediate family, sharing photos and such.

Hope I didn't go to far of subject and hope it helps.

HEWY09

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk!

[Dave Hounddriver]

I would just tell her not to say or write anything to any male friends (in person or on Facebook) that she would not say or write in front of her partner, In other words, no flirting with other guys and no hiding the chat screen when her partner walks by.

 

To refuse her any other male input into her life sounds like isolationism and borders on insecurity and/or abuse.

[Thomas]

To refuse her any other male input into her life sounds like isolationism and borders on insecurity and/or abuse.

:thumbsup:

 

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I forgot to say one thing earlier to TO. Your gf/wife having some western male friends can even be GOOD for you  :)   Some of my Filipina friends ask me about western culture, because they want to learn how to please THEIR BF/HUSBAND... As well as we western men have problem understanding some Filipin culture things, the same goes for Filipins concerning western cultures.