Helping Dad

[Call me bubba]

the house that they want us to pay to improve will never be ours but the brothers house but its my money

 

 

Help them improve the house, BUT be hands on(be there when its done)

2. get a promissory note that when the house is sold that you will be given the monies paid returned,(watch how fast the home NOW doesnt need to be improved)

3. how did these people survive before you came into there life.

4. teach or show them ways to better manage their money,

(again watch how fast the requests will decline/stop) :th_interesting:

 

and read the below article IN FULL.

http://manilatimes.net/category/legal-advice/

http://manilatimes.net/if-improvements-added-value-to-property-cost-of-improvements-must-be-reimbursed/68829/

 

My brother and I are living with our grandmother.

Since there are repairs to be made in our grandmother’s house, we undertook to go on with the renovations. Our grandmother, who owns the title to      the house,

did not spend anything for the renovations.

Recently, our grandmother decided to sell the house. Should our grandmother push through with the sale, can we be reimbursed of our expenses despite the fact that we stayed in the house of our grandmother?

JT

Dear JT,

Article 428 of the New Civil Code (NCC) provides that the owner has the right to dispose of a thing, without other limitations than those established by law. The law gives the owner of a thing, as a matter of right, the right to exclude any person from the enjoyment and disposal of his properties.

 

As an attribute to ownership, the owner of a thing has the following rights:

a) The right to enjoy the fruits (jus fruendi);

b) The right to dispose (jus disponendi); and

c) The right to recover (jus vindicandi).

The right to the enjoyment of the properties carries with it the right to possess (jus possidendi), use (jus utendi) and to make use of the fruits (jus fruendi) of the said property.

Likewise, the right       to dispose includes the right to alienate, to consume and even abuse (jus abutendi) the property.

You mentioned in your query that the title to the property in question belongs to your grandmother and that her ownership is evidenced by a Certificate of Title.

For all intents and purposes, she can sell her house to the exclusion of any other person including you and your brother, regardless of whether you spent for the renovation of her house, which had been your home for so long.

Legally speaking, she has all the right to do anything with her house for as long as the act is within the bounds of law and it will not prejudice somebody’s rights.

 

The right of your grandmother, however, to sell the property which is the subject matter of your query is not without prejudice to you and your brother’s right to be reimbursed of the expenses that you incurred in renovating the house, provided that the improvements or renovations that you introduced improved the state of your grandmother’s house. The law also protects you and your brother who are presumed to have spent in good faith for the renovation of the house.

Your grandmother cannot make use of her right to sell the house in such a manner that she will injure your right to be reimbursed of the expenses you used for the renovation of the house. As a matter of fact, if the improvements you introduced to the house have added to the value of the property, all the more that you should be reimbursed because the renovations inured to the benefit of your grandmother.

You and your brother’s act of spending for the renovations may be voluntary, however, your grandmother has benefited from the same; hence, the latter has the obligation to compensate you and your brother.

This is in accordance with the principle in law that no one shall be unjustly enriched or benefited at the expense of another (Article 2142, NCC).

You and your brother can make use of your rights as granted for by law to be reimbursed of your expenses in the same vein that your grandmother has the obligation to compensate you of the said expenses.

This is in concurrence with Article 19 of the NCC, which provides: “Every person must, in the exercise of his rights and in the performance of his duties, act with justice, give everyone his due, and observe honesty and good faith.”

However, before going further with whatever actions you would like to  take to enforce your right, we advise you to settle the matter with your grandmother and work things out.

Try to amicably settle your issues to avoid a long and tedious litigation.

[i am bob]

I believe the argument for the above is great if you are a Filipino but not so great if you are not a citizen of.  Same reasoning as ownership of a house...  

[i am bob]

Its a on going thing this is, to help my wifes dad in his future old age, i dont have a problem in this but how much do i send and remember i am getting old too and i am planning to support my old age by saving now for that time.

Like i have said i dont mind helping , paying my share , but the rest of the family dont seem to have any funds to help there dad, there are 5 sisters and brothers and 4 work, good jobs and are working overseas too, there families live with them and all seem to be doing well , own houses and cars  and kids too,

This is where we are different , because we dont have any kids, we have no resposibilities so my wife says, and it seems the rest of the family tell her that too, so she feels its down to her to help her dad , improve the house and so on,

There has to be a limit to what we can send but they dont seem to tell us what that is, just we cant afford to help just yet because of the children going to private school, the loans we have for the cars, the private singing lessons and so on, plus they all will have there own houses when they return back to the phils, except the one who lives with there dad but pays nothing and does not work,

So here lies the problem , the house that they want us to pay to improve will never be ours but the brothers house but its my money and i cannot get my head around that, at all, i am prepared to help if others do,

Its hard for my wife i know but it seems the so called loving family and the way of life they all seem to have is a burden my wife is carrying, hay ho 

 

It is situations like this that cause a lot of grief for some family members and, in particular, your wife.  Dad needs some help in his later years.  The rest of the family is quite happy living large if somebody else (you and your wife) are coming upt with what Dad needs.  The real question is how to get the rest of the family to put in their fair share.  There are several ways you can do this that have been discussed here and on other posts.  The big thing is to get them to accept that they are a better person for helping their Dad.  If nothing else is working, one way, one thing you can try is by building up their ego...  "The others are so tight that they don't want to help Dad...  I"m glad you're not a cheap deadbeat son like they are..."  Ok, maybe a little strong but you get my point.  And sometimes you may need to go a little strong if the rest of the family are as dense as that forest out back - or as stubborn as that cement mule.  

 

One of the families I worked with while training had a similar situation - a family of 6 brothers and my client was married to the only daughter.  And they were the only ones helping out with the mother.  At a family gathering, he let slip that Dad was thinking of leaving two times the inheritance to my client's wife...  A complete untruth (and not one that I would recommend) but it did get two of the brothers off their butts and helping with Mom.  (Mom only needed physical help, not financial.  Cut the grass, paint the house, cleaning, fixing the drains, weed the garden...)

[Lou49]

You have to be VERY careful when you open the door to foreign aid here. Once it is open a crack lots of people are going to show up for their "share" and it can be never ending unless you get rude and put you foot down. If you give once you are expected to continue giving and even increase the amounts. Been there, done that more than once, and seen it umpteen times. Match what other family members give and no more.....they will suck you dry if they can.

[Bigdog]

I must have been awful lucky in my GFs family.. no horror stories of trying to suck money from me.. I have picked up the electric bill twice in 3 years but i was never asked for it, just noticed the lights were out when we visited the house...both times were right after tuition for the kids was due and only about 1k piso..i did contribute a small amount (1,000p) to a hospital bill . This was matched by several other brothers and sisters , and yes i saw the bill and visited the person in the hospital..last year when i got back here to LLC from work i saw the "leak" in my GFs roof in her room..holy crap lol one corner of the roof has collapsed and there was a hole about 2ft square..set out to fix it and it turned into replacing almost the whole roof on the house after seeing the termite damage..new rafters , several new pieces of tin , new wiring , and a new suspended ceiling in the whole house, new window frames and replaced missing glass panels, fresh TWO coats of paint on everything , built her and the girls (12 &13) bunkbeds with full sized mattresses, and tiled the floor in her room..Kept 2 guys employed for a month lol.. cost about 45k, I didnt tell the Gf as i knew she would have come undone lol.. the brother in law was in Saudi getting screwed as usual on his contract but when he got home he tried to give me 5000p ( which was a large chunk of what he ended up with after a year in Saudi) i declined and told him to use it for his kids schooling instead..so what happens? he come over and cuts the grass , tidys up around my house for the rest of my 5 months in LLC....lucked out i guess :)

[robert k]

SubicSteve stole my thunder! I would add that they could send the money to me and I would add my part and send it on.

[Guy F.]

Tell your wife that you love her dad as much as her siblings do so whatever amount they put it you will match it.

 

 

NUFF SAID!!!

 

 

 

You should match the largest of the siblings' contributions, not the total of their contributions.

Edited January 31, 2014 by Guy F.

[Miguk]

 

Who is going to take care of you? Her family? Doubt it. 

 

An American and his filipina wife used to live nearby with her adult son. She passed away suddenly. The son scammed the money from the American's bank account somehow thru a friend that worked there. NOBODY helped him in any way. His wife had many relatives living nearby but they wouldn't even buy him a coffee. I bought him many meals and snacks until he got help from the American Embassy to go back to USA. Without his wife, his visa status had to go back to tourist and he could not pay for the extensions.

The moral of the story is to get a young wife and hope that she outlives you as you are out in the cold without her.

 

 

Good lord!  Was that his biological son?  So the whole "filipino family closeness" thing that they constantly tout doesn't extend to in-laws? That is one reason I don't want to buy a house because foreigners can't own property here -- and somehow I am going to get screwed out of my house if my wife dies first (inheritance laws notwithstanding)

[jpbago]

 

 

Who is going to take care of you? Her family? Doubt it. 

 

An American and his filipina wife used to live nearby with her adult son. She passed away suddenly. The son scammed the money from the American's bank account somehow thru a friend that worked there. NOBODY helped him in any way. His wife had many relatives living nearby but they wouldn't even buy him a coffee. I bought him many meals and snacks until he got help from the American Embassy to go back to USA. Without his wife, his visa status had to go back to tourist and he could not pay for the extensions.

The moral of the story is to get a young wife and hope that she outlives you as you are out in the cold without her.

 

 

Good lord!  Was that his biological son?  So the whole "filipino family closeness" thing that they constantly tout doesn't extend to in-laws? That is one reason I don't want to buy a house because foreigners can't own property here -- and somehow I am going to get screwed out of my house if my wife dies first (inheritance laws notwithstanding)

 

 

No, it was her son from another filipino before she became an OFW.  About the fact that your wife may die first, it might be a good idea to become a Muslim and have 3 or 4 wives. 1st runner up, 2nd runner up, and another on hot standby. I have heard of 2 cases where the wife did die first and it put the foreigners out of the country due to visas and ownership disputes. No honey no money. 

[Thomas]

That is one reason I don't want to buy a house because foreigners can't own property here

Actualy foreigners CAN own some property here.

/Condonium where at least 60 % of them are owned by Filipins.

/40% of land through company (if the company need land).

/HOUSE can be own 100 % on long time LEASED land.