An Estranged Foreign Husband.

[alanmaler]

Dear friends here. I have met the most wonderful Philippine woman recently. We have a beautiful relationship, and although we have not physically met each other yet, we feel very strongly about one another.

Problem is that she is still officially married to her husband from Italy. They separated in 2008 and she has tried many things to contact him regarding a divorce. He is somewhat impossible to find, and even if she could find him it's not certain he is mature enough to want to solve the situation and divorce her from his end, Italy.

Can it really be that he can ruin her life like this? Are there no rules/ laws regarding estranged spouses? This is a big problem for us. She wants to do some kind of quickie thing through some kind of agency, but I don't really trust that they will do anything atall after they get the first 100.000 p.

if anyone has any solution or valid advice I'd be eternally grateful.

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[joeatmanila]

Few and simple words.

If the marriage took place in Philippines, forget about divorce from Philippines if she is not having a divorce from Italy.

 

If the marriage has never been recognized in Italy, forget of having a divorce in Philippines since cannot get one from Italy, even if she gets a certificate from Italy saying he is single. 

 

If the husband is not Italian but Filipino living in Italy forget of getting divorce in Philippines even is she gets it from Italy (from Filipino citizen)

 

If the Italian is found, he has recognized the marriage in Italy and agrees to get a divorce then this divorce can grant her a divorce in Philippines.

 

If her wedding is legally declared in Italy she can travel there, hire a lawyer and chop his incomes and properties (acquired after the wedding date) in pieces, ofcourse you pay all that.

 

The guy most likely does not care since he is still not married in his own county...

 

Legally she is screwed. Lawyers, fixers and agents will suck as much as they can from you to do this or that way, there is NO WAY, if this marriage has been declared in Philippines, promises and hopes plenty for as long as your cash flows.

Remember this is the country where you commit rape, you go to the court trial you declare you want to marry the girl, you marry her and you do not make not even a day of jail time. Then you drop her married and keep on living your life without anyone disturbing you. She though cannot re-marry neither divorce you no matter what.

 

So how much can you afford in cash and how much in hassle? Remember there are many trees bearing oranges....

[MikeB]

The legalities of this dilemma (and everything else about the relationship) are secondary to the fact that you haven't physically met. Do that first; check out the whole situation with your own 2 eyes, then take it from there.

[alanmaler]

Yes of course we will meet very soon, and some factors may change. But there is nothing wrong with using the time we have now preparing, getting something started. I'm the kind of guy that, no matter what happens the day we eventually meet, even if we don't 'click' I will help her out of this stupid situation anyway.

But I'm really glad that you guys have recognized my dilemma and are posting some constructive answers. Very happy :-)

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[alanmaler]

Hi mike s

Jeeeez. Am I really that screwed!! It sounds complicated at best, completely impossible at worst. And generally ill advised.

Can this be right, that this Italian guy ( Italian citizen ) can screw someone's life up by doing absolutely nothing.

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[Thomas]

In the Philippines they don't "divorce" for catholics, they get an "annulment". I don't believe the spouse will have to be found/agree.

It can be done, but is complicated, so need lawyer. See other topic(-s) about process, experiences and costs. It cost much   :unsure:  so I recomend meeting before you promise solving/start paying such...

A shortcut is if she change religion to muslim  :)

[alanmaler]

What if she just changes to a Protestant or something else. I'm not sure the Muslim idea would fly :-)))

But thanks I'll take a look at the other topic.

I'm really appreciative for your input guys. I'm completely lost on this one.

And yes, for sure I'll meet her ASAP. Within a month or so.

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[Old55]

You have been given some important information it is now time for you to decide what next in an unemotional manner no matter how painful.

I wish you and the Filipina well but keep in mind she is married and will be unable to marry you. I very kindly suggest you move on this will cause much pain and not end well.

[alanmaler]

Well I am at this moment trying to contact/find her estranged husband to try to talk sense to him. So hopefully a. I'll find him, and b. he'll listen and understand. This in my mind means that if he divorces her, will automatically give her marriage a different status. Quite what status I have no idea.

But one thing is for sure, I can not, and will not just give up due to this. It just can't be right. Yes I realize that she is 'married' in one sense of the word. But a marriage is a partnership and an agreement between two consenting adults. And in this case ie that they have not met or spoken for four years. And he probably doesn't even remember her name. Is this the way Catholics are treated by their religion.

Perhaps I'm naive, I don't know. But if I have to, I'll fly her to Italy to confront her idiot of a husband. Claim half his belongings as his lawful wife. Perhaps that will change his mind.

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[Gerald Glatt]

Yes it is that way, fair or unfair, to the point that if you cohabitate in the Philippines you may be arrested do a bit of time and then deported and not allowed to return.

 

Do not give money to an attorney in Fil for annulment until you meet.  Ask how many annulments he has done and his success rate, especially when spouse is out of country.  Oh when you get there check to see if her marriage has been recorded with authorities, might get lucky.

 

When I was last in Italy, long ago they did not have divorce either.  You may be able to check with their embassy and ask for an Italian passport for her then go somewhere else and get married, like US after she files for divorce, won't be recognized in Fil but you're not there.

 

Check with a lawyer here specializing in international law, can give you info not lost in translation. 

 

Good luck