Marriage Agreement

[Curley]

Here is a plan for you. Come to the PI and rent for one year. Get your gf to live with you. Or not. Do not give any money to the family! See how u feel in a year.

 

 

I am very happy living in Colombia and I think she will love it. We are planning on a 90 day initial "trial" to see how it goes.

[jpbago]

 

Here is a plan for you. Come to the PI and rent for one year. Get your gf to live with you. Or not. Do not give any money to the family! See how u feel in a year.

 

 

I am very happy living in Colombia and I think she will love it. We are planning on a 90 day initial "trial" to see how it goes.

 

 

Get that in writing.

[Curley]

I have even brought up rules as e g no kids in parents's bed when it's sleep time (with some defined exceptions). But I suppouse it would be better to put such in writing so she haven't "forgot" the agreements later :lol: =All demands (of course details can be negotiated even if the main can't) better be decided before marriage, because IF not agreeing about what you find IMPORTANT, then better NOT marry that woman :) But everything negotiable can WAIT until after the wedding.

 

 

 

Thanks Thomas, you understood the question. Kids in bed? good one but we wont be having any, snip, snip.

[Thomas]

hmmmmm, thanks for the replies but my original question was.....

Has anyone ever put these things into writing before the deed was done?

I was hoping for a well written "list" of all the things that could cause a speed hump in the future. mission impossible?

I'm some time from becoming married, so I haven't written it yet,

but I have it in my head  :)

Details are negotiable, but have to be consistent.

/Live rural with no neighbours within at least 250 meters. (Except perhaps in startup, or if it will become to hard of health reasons.)

/No kids in bed at nights (negotiate exceptions, but only reasons which can be controlled.)

/No living in people at all, except visitors for max some days. (The longer distance from family, the more days they can stay, because I suppouse they visit more seldom then  :)     So NO MAID, but it can be OK to get assistance when doing BIG cleaning.

/How to do if/when family ask for money. (Some to Help-to-self-help can be OK. And some to parents/grandparents if needed. But it's good if I'm older than them, because less reason to pay them when I go on working  :lol:

//How to do if/when other than family ask for money.

/I will need A BIT assistance with business. So - beside when having new born babies - I expect my wife to work some there. I will assist SOME at home, so she get time to work some outside home. How much she can decide herself within minimum (=I can't do, but need to keep between us) and maximum (=as much as she have time to without home and kids get to litle attention. And some attention to me too  :mocking:   

/Before marriage she will get as assistant salary. The goal is she can take care of more and more of the economy the more she learn, so I don't need to  :mocking:

/CONSISTENT parenting. Rather relaxed but teaching the kids to be RESPONCIBLE. The more responcible and clever they become, the more they can start deciding themselves. Actualy even most 4 year olds are clever enough to know/figuere out what's ok behaviour, so they correct THEMSELVES if just lead their thinking a bit sometimes  :)   Teaching them economy, so they will get week/month money allready at young age.

/Schooling. I plan to have homeschooling 1-2 days per week to improve knowledge in the most important subjects. I HOPE the kids will aim at jobsbusinesses, which don't need FORMAL exams, because then we don't need to spend money on College/University :lol:    I skiped College myself after one semester, because I found them teaching to slow and partly old methods. But I have made much self studies, sometimes making tests without having tutor. I hope my kids will do similar. I hope at least one of the kids will want to take over the business - IF it has succeed enough to be worth keeping  :lol:

 

I expect money to family and SOME of the parenting can be a problem,

but I expect no big problem with the rest, because if my wife don't have goals suiting to them, she will not become my wife  :)

[Thomas]

I am not planning on giving money to the family but according to many of you a request will most likely arrive at some point.

According to the Philippine law, them with more assets HAVE TO support closest family IF they need and do their best.

Does nobody give their wives an allowance to spend on themselves as they see fit? Do they have to ask every time they want a lipstick/phone topup etc? Part of the idea is to prevent requests for money for family reasons...... birthdays/weddings/funerals/graduations etc Let her have a "salary" to decide and to learn how to budget.

My fiance will get a salary as assistant in business startup, when I move there.

Sure she will get some own money. It's negotiable  :)

After some teaching, I expect my wife to take care of the economy for the household,

and become more and more involved in the business economy too. Perhaps she will take over whole business, if she want, when I want to retire.

 

Sure Filipins can be economic, most of them wouldn't survive otherwice  :)   

But almost all of them need to practise to think much more ahead. But there are Filipinas, which can think much ahead too. (E g my conserning other that economy missbehaving ex gf is very good at it. She had saved and bought as much farmland as her parents have allready when she was 27, hers is even better than theirs.)

Perhaps I think too much?

I think it impossible to think to much   :)    concerning planning as long as it don't delay the doing to much. And it's bad if it's to much worrying type of thinking, so it make you stop trying things which CAN be done.

[Lou49]

I think it is a BIG mistake to give money to the family. I know sooo many guys who have regretted doing so, including myself. Don't do it.

I am not planning on giving money to the family but according to many of you a request will most likely arrive at some point.

Does nobody give their wives an allowance to spend on themselves as they see fit? Do they have to ask every time they want a lipstick/phone topup etc?

Part of the idea is to prevent requests for money for family reasons...... birthdays/weddings/funerals/graduations etc Let her have a "salary" to decide and to learn how to budget.

Your logic is sound dude, I tried that once myself. My gf's allowance was gone within a day or two due to constant family requests for money and they were always asking for advances . They knew she had money and were always asking and it was never enough. I know other guys who tried this with similar results. And you can't hide far enough away cuz they will ask via phone or internet.

Perhaps I think too much?

Your logic is sound dude, I tried that once myself. My gf's allowance was gone within a day or two due to constant family requests for money and they were always asking for advances . They knew she had money and were always asking and it was never enough. I know other guys who tried this with similar results. And you can't hide far enough away cuz they will ask via phone or internet. Edited March 31, 2014 by Lou49

[Gerald Glatt]

​I don't know the rules in Britain or Sweden but in the US the operative word is 'HALF'. When you split up they (THE WIFE) GETS HALF THE ASSETS. That's if you are lucky.  In leaving my first wife I just left everything, savings and stock worth 150K+, a home with close to 70k equity. I picked up the bills for kids college for first year, they had jobs, scholarships, and loans after that. Divorce is very expense in the US for one reason: it is worth it. Remember Curley and Thomas they will get at least half the money and they own all the pussey. So good luck with those "AGREEMENTS"  The best thing about the Philippines (other then my lovely FE) is if it doesn't work out there are over 20 million other chances. Wonder how a Phil judge would look at a prenup?

[Curley]

​I don't know the rules in Britain or Sweden but in the US the operative word is 'HALF'. When you split up they (THE WIFE) GETS HALF THE ASSETS. That's if you are lucky.  In leaving my first wife I just left everything, savings and stock worth 150K+, a home with close to 70k equity. I picked up the bills for kids college for first year, they had jobs, scholarships, and loans after that. Divorce is very expense in the US for one reason: it is worth it. Remember Curley and Thomas they will get at least half the money and they own all the pussey. So good luck with those "AGREEMENTS"  The best thing about the Philippines (other then my lovely FE) is if it doesn't work out there are over 20 million other chances. Wonder how a Phil judge would look at a prenup?

 

 

How can I get it over that I AM NOT talking about finance or assets, just simple "rules" that we will abide by.

 

I will not buy any property in the Phils.

 

I know that divorce laws can be tough.

 

In Spain, any assets that are brought to a marriage are deemed to be the private property of that person and not part of any future divorce settlement. At least the Spanish have ONE piece of decent law.

[Curley]

Your logic is sound dude, I tried that once myself. My gf's allowance was gone within a day or two due to constant family requests for money and they were always asking for advances . They knew she had money and were always asking and it was never enough. I know other guys who tried this with similar results. And you can't hide far enough away cuz they will ask via phone or internet.

 

We will be living thousands of miles from the Phils. Requests for money will have to be via Western Union, we live 45 mins drive from the nearest WU and she cannot drive. If she has money saved and wants to send via WU then well done her, this is partly the point of this post, I want her to be responsible for any money requests NOT ME.

[Lou49]

Your logic is sound dude, I tried that once myself. My gf's allowance was gone within a day or two due to constant family requests for money and they were always asking for advances . They knew she had money and were always asking and it was never enough. I know other guys who tried this with similar results. And you can't hide far enough away cuz they will ask via phone or internet.

 

We will be living thousands of miles from the Phils. Requests for money will have to be via Western Union, we live 45 mins drive from the nearest WU and she cannot drive. If she has money saved and wants to send via WU then well done her, this is partly the point of this post, I want her to be responsible for any money requests NOT ME.

I wish you all the best Curley. I hope it works out for you.