Age Difference (New Guy Here)

[Trebek]

Hello all,  I'm new to this forum and new to dating Filipinas.   I'm a 51 year old American who lives and works in China.  I was looking at a certain Asian dating site the other day (I've had luck meeting Chinese women using this site before),  and I'm getting hit on by many Filipina ladies of all ages.  One in particular is 21 years old.  I'm mainly talking to ladies in their mid to late 30's but this 21 year old sent me a letter and I chatted with her much of the afternoon.   She seems like a nice church going young lady and says that age doesn't matter.   Is this normal?  30 year difference?  Assuming this girl isn't a scammer,  why the hell would she want a 50 year old?   I'm looking for a wife not a quick screw but can this possibly work out?  Is this normal and accepted over in the Philippines?

 

Thanks for your thoughts on this...

 

 

[Medic Mike]

Hello all,  I'm new to this forum and new to dating Filipinas.   I'm a 51 year old American who lives and works in China.  I was looking at a certain Asian dating site the other day (I've had luck meeting Chinese women using this site before),  and I'm getting hit on by many Filipina ladies of all ages.  One in particular is 21 years old.  I'm mainly talking to ladies in their mid to late 30's but this 21 year old sent me a letter and I chatted with her much of the afternoon.   She seems like a nice church going young lady and says that age doesn't matter.   Is this normal?  30 year difference?  Assuming this girl isn't a scammer,  why the hell would she want a 50 year old?   I'm looking for a wife not a quick screw but can this possibly work out?  Is this normal and accepted over in the Philippines?

 

Thanks for your thoughts on this...

Yes very normal. Even for girls that are genuine, they don't really care about the age difference.

[Thomas]

Actualy 20 year old girls with 40 year old men are suiting BETTER than same aged in our home countries too, because the human raise is wrong contructed  :mocking:        But when the couple become 40 and 60, then she suit better to a 20 year old man  :lol:

 

Many Filipinas find biger age difference than that ok, I suppouse mainly because of economical reasons  - it was similar for poor girls in our home countries 100 years ago  -   but I believe the culture add some years too, because  -  in difference from in our home countries - they look UP to old people.   AND many Filipin young men are VERY irresponcible, which make many young Filipinas thinking "Better an old and a foreigner instead..."

 

If someone is short of such, I know several such young Filipinas :)  FRIENDS,  who  look for decent foreigners to marry.  I BELIEVE my gf don't mind I have female friends - but perhaps she don't like my friends tell me truths about Filipin culture   :lol: 

[robert k]

I have chatted quite a few filipinas lately and the question usually comes up, why aren't I married? I usually explain that I never wanted to be an American womans "starter" husband. In return I ask them why they aren't married and I usually hear that they thought they were going to be married but the man didn't stick around, often leaving a kid in his wake. I think some are looking for a man who will stick around and the young ladies think it's more likely if the man is older and more settled. Whether the ladies are right or wrong in this, I couldn't say. Some say age doesn't matter and others will say it matters very much, they want an older man because they are tired of being jilted. I would not always assume that the guy who ran away was a bad guy either until you really get to know the woman, long engagement is a good plan. :tiphat:

[cebu rocks]

Number 1 reason the girls go for expats is the locals guys have all treated them very bad and they see the expats spoil there girls 

 

Even treating them bad by western standards is a huge improvement over the way the local guys treat the wife

[Old55]

It's not uncommon a much younger Filipina would want to marry a "Rich Kano" who would be faithful and could support her and her family.

Perhaps you should ask yourself what a girl 30 years younger than you would have in common? 

Having said all that there are a number of forum members living in Philippines now with much younger girlfriends or wife and they are very happy. Honestly its up to you whatever could make you happy.

Edited July 12, 2014 by Old55

[jon1]

My wife is 20 years younger than me. I think it's a combination of wanting a financially stable household and they see that the older guys are usually more settled down. They also see how the young filipinos their age are still immature. I think that there is probably a significant number (if not the majority) of expats here that are marrying for a second time. They have been burnt before and now typically have a "no time for BS" attitude. 

[Jollygoodfellow]

One in particular is 21 years old.  I'm mainly talking to ladies in their mid to late 30's but this 21 year old sent me a letter and I chatted with her much of the afternoon.   She seems like a nice church going young lady and says that age doesn't matter.   Is this normal?  30 year difference?

 

Its fairly normal and age is just a number but depending on the girl there are things to consider. Once I was in a bar and two older guys and their much younger girls came in, they all sat at a table and were rather quiet and just sitting there. The 2 guys go off to the toilet and as soon as they were gone the girls started dancing and just having fun, the 2 guys come back and it stopped and they went back to sitting there saying nothing so my guess is the girls wanted to do what younger girls might do but in the company of their partners they had to act like someone that is not who they are.

 

My point is that the maturity of the girl and her personality is what will make or break the relationship. In western countries marriages break up all the time and the male usually ends up out of pocket so what have you got to loose if you end up with the 21 year old? It will work or it wont just like any relationship.

 

A personal view is that girls from the province who are young might be a better catch than a young city girl but that's just an opinion.

[Dave Hounddriver]

Age difference is a learned concept.  It is a subject of prejudice in some cultures.  A long time living in a culture like Philippines will teach you the pros and cons of age difference and it will be up to you if you choose a much younger wife.  Stay in Philippines and your choice will be respected.  If you marry and move to another country you will suffer prejudice.

[frosty (chris)]

The age difference here is a non event, you see it every day and no-one bats on eye lid, just accepted. My g/f is 26y.o. I am 63, I was very hesitant at first and sat her down and asked her about the difference in age, no problem for her or her family. I also got some very good advice from Americano's wife on what to look for and after taking that advice everything has worked out fine. We have the same ups and downs as most couples but at the end of the day we are both very happy, I can tell by her lovely smile, good luck with what ever you do.