Age Difference (New Guy Here)

[Americano]

Plenty of people in the Philippines have made stupid comments about me and my wife. One very recently will show you just how stupid some people are. My wife and I don't have any kids. Recently some of her family were visiting us.  As my wife, me and her 4 year old niece were walking together in a Gaisano Mall several people were staring at us and making comments to each other. My wife heard one of them say, "The foreigner thinks the girl is his but she has a Filipino father."  That is just one comment of many that she heard while her family members were visiting us.  Probably the comment she hates the most is, "The foreigner will be dead soon so she will get all of his money."  Why can't people mind their own business?

[El Negrito]

Sorry guys, but they did mind their own business. They were not nosey. They did not say anything. They just looked. We all do the same. My wife and I get a lot of looks and double takes in Canada too because of the age, size, and colour difference but here too, nobody says anything, They mind their own business. My friends are the ones that make comments and it is all positive.

 

I understand looks but not comments. Even the looks have to be the right ones. "What is he doing with her?" looks are uncallled for. "What a nice couple or lucky him or her or them looks" or even "Oh how interesting you don't see that every day" looks are fine.

 

Comments, unless positive, shut up. Like mom use to say, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything." Glad you have good friends who heed that advice. You are obviously a good judge in character to choose them.

Edited August 30, 2014 by El Negrito

[El Negrito]

"The foreigner thinks the girl is his but she has a Filipino father."  That is just one comment of many that she heard while her family members were visiting us.  Probably the comment she hates the most is, "The foreigner will be dead soon so she will get all of his money."  Why can't people mind their own business?

 

You have nerves of steel and so does your wife. I would have had to turn and say something out loud had I heard that.

[Jake]

 

"The foreigner thinks the girl is his but she has a Filipino father."  That is just one comment of many that she heard while her family members were visiting us.  Probably the comment she hates the most is, "The foreigner will be dead soon so she will get all of his money."  Why can't people mind their own business?

 

You have nerves of steel and so does your wife. I would have had to turn and say something out loud had I heard that.

 

It's not uncommon for the locals to stare or get into your personal space.  There is no such thing as personal space,

especially standing in line.  Usually, they are staring at Judy like she was a movie star without any clothes on.  Yeah,

I know that hungry look from tan bys (young and old Filipinos standing by at a street corner).  

 

I would usually remove my sunglasses and stare at them back, hard.  Or sometimes, I would just wink at the gossiping

ladies and with a chit eaten grin.  That really gets them annoyed.....but not ashamed.  

 

You can't rectify the situation......it's part of the Filipino culture -- not to stare but to stare intently.  

 

You gotta roll with the punches........

Edited August 30, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[Hey Steve]

I think many times the derogatory comments are made so they can purposefully be over heard. This, to me, is a symptom of jealousy, insecurity, close mindedness, past failures and/or just simple ignorance. I don't believe in or condone others making assumptions about people I have not met-let alone just see in public.

[Jake]

I think many times the derogatory comments are made so they can purposefully be over heard. This, to me, is a symptom of jealousy, insecurity, close mindedness, past failures and/or just simple ignorance. I don't believe in or condone others making assumptions about people I have not met-let alone just see in public.

Yep, otherwise your anger and frustrations living in the Philippines will be no pun anymore........

[El Negrito]

I think many times the derogatory comments are made so they can purposefully be over heard. This, to me, is a symptom of jealousy, insecurity, close mindedness, past failures and/or just simple ignorance. I don't believe in or condone others making assumptions about people I have not met-let alone just see in public.

 

 

Exacty! Triple like!  :thumbsup:

[robert k]

When people have no business, they will try to get into yours. :lol:

[El Negrito]

When people have no business, they will try to get into yours. :lol:

 

 

Quadruple like!  :thumbsup:

[Thomas]

going off topic, I see no comments about "the children" of older father/ young mother. Father 70yo ,mom 30. child 2yo. when the child is 12yo the father is 80 /40 is mom Has anyone ever considered the children from these marriages/unions?

  I have thought of it rather much , is 61 and haven't started get kids yet.   Luckily for me my genes give good chance to reach high age. Men at both sides normaly become around 90. (My mother's father even worked until 90.)   If so the youngest will reach grown up age before I die.

Plan is to go on working some in own business at least until kids are old enough to know IF they want to continue the business - if it haven't got bankruptcy   :)      so I know if aiming at keep or sell.  If I'm lucky, my wife wikll want to take over when youngest kid reach 10 or so, so I can retire - if I want to   :)

 

Concerning economy:

I HOPE the business will go good enough to cover their need after I have died,

but kids will get percent of my retirement pay anyway from I die until they are 18, IF I die earlier.

 

Concerning father figueres if father die/is absend:

The Philippine culture solve such much BETTER than western, by they have much closer family contacts, so normaly there are some other male relative available anyway.