Just Who Has The Cultural Gap?

[i am bob]

(All the posts above have been great!  Exactly what I was looking for.  But there is another side to things - as we all know... So now I am going to throw a twist in and I hope to hear from some more members...  If you are new to this thread, think of your response to the original question and then add to it from the question that follows...)

 

So far we have mostly looked at this from our point of view...  What we, as the foreigner, see as the reason for the differences between cultures and/or supposed classes.  But do we really understand what the other person is truly thinking?  Try and put yourself in their shoes and what do you see?  A friend?  Loving father?  Great brother-in-law or neighbor?  A "CandyMan" with gold dripping from his ears?  (Sorry - that's just wax...  ugh!)  Now that I've made you forget your preconceived notions, think again on what "they" are thinking..  If you're brave, ask your significant other (not the bartender) what they thought in the same scenario.  And, when you are all done, if you can go back and to answer why they see this, then life will get very interesting...  You just may be on the way to understanding the world - or at least the Philippines - as a generic one-peopled place to be.

[Jack Peterson]

or at least the Philippines - as a generic one-peopled place to be.

 

 

Bob! I am going to have to sleep on this one. Her that must be obeyed, has just rung and told me she will be another hour, so I am to go out, for a beer. :hystery:  :hystery:  Never, let it be said, I don't do as I am told. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

:tiphat:  :cheers:

[Jake]

I was reading another post and saw this come up...  The poster was stating that there is a very large cultural gap between 'Kanos and Filipinas...  (or all Filipinos in general could be given).  But just who has that cultural gap?  Is it the Filipino trying to assimilate a Westerner into their way of life?  Or is it the Westerner trying to slip into a society foreign to his own?  I have my ideas which I will put down later but I am really interested in what others have to say about this...  So?

 

:unsure:  :no:  :rolleyes:  :mocking:

Or is it the Westerner trying to slip into......

 

Hey guys,

 

Bob gave us a multiple question quiz, so I will pick the easiest one to answer about closing the cultural gap.  

Actually, if you see one of our fellow members Mike S, he is a prime example on how to go native all the way.   

 

That ain't no tobacco either.....he, he.  Anyway, I eventually became more and more like a typical tricycle

driver, wearing clothes bought from the palenki and plain rubber shoes (slip-pairs).  Shorts and tank tops,

that's me.  While walking, I can even drag my slippers across the cement floor.  

 

Only Filipinos can do that......he, he.  However, I can never go beyond 34 seconds before my knees lock

up.  I can't do the Joe Squat anymore......

Edited July 25, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[Methersgate]

Bob, I am not new to this thread, and I wont repeat what I wrote in post no.10 but I will add to it.

 

Many many years ago I did a European coastal on a Japanese manned ship (that tells you how long ago it was) The crew had put their heads together on what the important question of  "what do Gaijins eat?"  and I got steak, chips, salad and a glass of milk, beautifully prepared and presented, for breakfast dinner lunch and tea!  

 

In the case of K's own family, from Mindanao, none of them have worked abroad, but I have an English brother in law and a US sister in law (actually a Filipina OCW who has gained citizenship). So far as the rest of the family are concerned, "abroad" is a very weird place. When I first took K to HK, she assumed that everyone in Hong Kong would speak English. And she's probably the bright one.

 

The OCW's Filipino stay at home husband assured me that his wife was a domestic helper in Australia; she's actually a care worker in California. My English brother in law's daughter is the centre of the whole family's attention, because she is mestiza.

 

So, when faced with a Foreigner, they make as few assumptions. First, that the foreigner wants beer. Next, that the foreigner probably lives on hamburger and instant coffee. From here on, the safe. assumption is that the foreigner must be rich, and as such must be like a rich Filipino.

This is probably an extreme case. Most families will have an OCW or two.

[i am bob]

First, that the foreigner wants beer. Next, that the foreigner probably lives on hamburger and instant coffee. From here on, the safe. assumption is that the foreigner must be rich, and as such must be like a rich Filipino.

 

They were doing great until they figured on INSTANT coffee...  Only the real thing, please!  And of course they continued it on if they would assume that I am rich...  

 

:mocking:

[Jollygoodfellow]

I agree with Jack.

If I may add a thought, the Have Nots  assume that foreigners are like the Haves.

 

That explains the excessive deference with which we foreigners are treated and the real fear with which the Have Nots treat us

 

We must be like the Haves because the Haves have what we have and do what look from the outside like the same things.

From our point of view the Haves are vulgar and greedy and often cruel, treating their servants badly, running after money and status and with no taste. But from the point of view of the Have Nots we look like the Haves.

Until a Filipino or a Filipina has lived amongst foreigners outside the Philippines, he or she cannot understand the difference.

There is a reason why one of the greatest Filipino novels is called "The Pretenders" 

 

Please, all posts should be in English  :)

[Methersgate]

Please, all posts should be in English 

Sorry po!

 

If I may add a thought, the poor (most people)  assume that foreigners are like rich Filipinos

 

That explains the excessive deference with which we foreigners are treated.

 

After all, the poor think foreigners are rich, and they seem to do the same things as rich Filipinos - they go to airconditioned restaurants and they drive cars, etc..

We foreigners often think that the wealthier Filipinos are vulgar, greedy and often cruel, treating their servants badly, running after money and status and with no taste. However, from the perspective of the poor, these things are not apparent.

Until a Filipino or a Filipina has lived amongst foreigners outside the Philippines, he or she cannot understand the difference.

There is a reason why one of the greatest Filipino novels (wriiten in Englsh!) is called "The Pretenders" 

[Hey Steve]

Very thought provoking topic. I decided to hold a party at my previous GF's (shanty) house years back. She and her sister prepared all the fixings. When I walked into the party with my GF (that I financed-the party-not the GF-LOL)- complete with Baboy Lechon, pancit, the who shabang..most people-extended family/friends were sitting around eating their plates of food knowing it was the rich foreigner who bought it all. There was an air of humility-almost shame(?) with most everyone. Needless to say this disturbed me, as I did not want to be the focus of this uncomfortable behavior which I connected the dots on. There seems to be a mindset of superiority unjustly awarded the "have" (me) simply based on the amount of money I might have. Needless to say, I think as far as the haves and have nots go, all I can do in this situation is to take the position of trying to raise them up to my eye level (not me lower myself to them) by take the friendly guy lead and be the approacheable one. At the end of the party it was all laughs and smiles, whereas it started with lots of quiet whispers.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Hey Steve

[Thomas]

'MacBubba', on 24 Jul 2014 - 01:32 AM, said: Just to add to the complexity...I have observed cultural gaps among Filipinos. Oh! yes most certainly. I have realised in my 2 years here Permanently, that there is a very, much apparent, Us and Them situation ( the Haves and the Have Nots)

Yes that too,

but also between the different Filipino groups e g  them from NCR and Mindanao, with the Visayans in between both geographical and cultural.

[Methersgate]

Most people in Mindanao are first or second generation immigrants from the North.

Mindanao is for the twentieth century Filipino what the West was for the nineteenth century American; it is the Frontier.

Molave, the town of fifty thousand people where my beloved grew up, in Zamboanga del Sur, did not exist in 1930. Her parents moved to Zamboanga del Sur from Negros Oriental in the nineteen sixties, because they could get land and start a farm in Mindanao.

Sound familiar? If you are American, it should do.

Edited August 14, 2014 by Methersgate