Nice Ways To Say No?

[El Negrito]

Well you might not be, but I can tell you most, not all, but most are very interested, as some one stated before it's a national pastime here.

 

Now you are starting to worry me.   I am not sure that the Philippines, with its generally lax (and "double") standard of sexual "morality", is really the place for you to look for a long term companion, given your own high standards in such matters. As Frosty says, sex is the national pastime. Remember your own Ambassador puts the proportion of visitors to the Philippines who are sex tourists ("sexpats") at 40%. The idea of a foreigner who does not want to "try before you buy" will seem rather strange to most Filipinas of the age to interest you - not all, but most. There are such things as virgins, I believe, I have heard them spoken of, but I don't recall meeting one over the age of, say, 23.

 

Hey Big El,   I can see your noble cause (a western culture perhaps) of maintaining a monogamous relationship but  I have to agree with Andrew and Frosty......you're not in Kansas anymore.  You need to kick the tires before a test drive and see if she's hitting on all 8 cylinders......he, he.     Go for the red line........

 

Hey guys, I totally understand what you are saying and respect your opinion as well as your looking out for me. I am not naive to the way most of the world views these things and even in the states when you say something like you don't believe in sex before marriage, most people will look at you like you are crazy.

 

I am sure Philippines might be more sexually charged than the west but it is pretty bad in Canada,  the US and woooo doggy is it bad here in Mexico (I think maybe similar to Philippines) but there are still plenty of virgins to go around. That being said I didn't say I was looking for a virgin, just simply that I don't believe in sex before marriage and I am sure there are others there that think the same.

 

Trust me this is not about nobility nor some moral high horse I am on. There is a lot to it that I won't get into but lets suffice to say it is how I have chosen to live and that's that. It may limit my choices but I am OK with that.

 

I really appreciate your insights and look forward to hearing more. Thanks guys!  :thumbsup:

[BrettGC]

Trust me this is not about nobility nor some moral high horse I am on. There is a lot to it that I won't get into but lets suffice to say it is how I have chosen to live and that's that.

 

Double like for being you!

 

Mate, if you post on any of the myriad of Asian/Philippine dating sites and allude to your views on this particular subject, you will be inundated more so than most Westerners are - and I promise you, our inboxes are flooded under normal circumstances - you'll have to start sand-bagging.  It's hard to explain the oxy-moron of Filipinas with religious belief - ranging from tokenism to deeply devout - and their attitudes to sex so I'm not even going to try; hmmm, maybe I should change the subject of my PhD?  

 

Needless to say, you will be like a breath of fresh air for many though.  You may find yourself having to opportunity of saying "no" more than the average expat.  Start fine-tuning the delivery now  :541:

Edited August 1, 2014 by BrettGC

[Jake]

 

Trust me this is not about nobility nor some moral high horse I am on. There is a lot to it that I won't get into but lets suffice to say it is how I have chosen to live and that's that.

 

Double like for being you!

 

Mate, if you post on any of the myriad of Asian/Philippine dating sites and allude to your views on this particular subject, you will be inundated more so than most Westerners are - and I promise you, our inboxes are flooded under normal circumstances - you'll have to start sand-bagging.  It's hard to explain the oxy-moron of Filipinas with religious belief - ranging from tokenism to deeply devout - and their attitudes to sex so I'm not even going to try; hmmm, maybe I should change the subject of my PhD?  

 

Needless to say, you will be like a breath of fresh air for many though.  You may find yourself having to opportunity of saying "no" more than the average expat.  Start fine-tuning the delivery now  :541:

 

Hey BrettGC,

 

I can see it now on your office wall......DR BRETT PH.D, SEX THERAPIST EXTRAORDINAIRE.  Do you accept cash

or cold beer?  

 

To our relatively new member Big El, I salute you sir!  You have every right to practice and express your opinion in

this forum.  But you must give me a chance to corrupt you more as you plan for your journey to the land of milk and

honey......he, he.  

 

To the other members already corrupted (like me), you know the drill.......no money --- no honey.    

Edited August 2, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[El Negrito]

 

Trust me this is not about nobility nor some moral high horse I am on. There is a lot to it that I won't get into but lets suffice to say it is how I have chosen to live and that's that.

 

Double like for being you!

 

Mate, if you post on any of the myriad of Asian/Philippine dating sites and allude to your views on this particular subject, you will be inundated more so than most Westerners are - and I promise you, our inboxes are flooded under normal circumstances - you'll have to start sand-bagging.  It's hard to explain the oxy-moron of Filipinas with religious belief - ranging from tokenism to deeply devout - and their attitudes to sex so I'm not even going to try; hmmm, maybe I should change the subject of my PhD?  

 

Needless to say, you will be like a breath of fresh air for many though.  You may find yourself having to opportunity of saying "no" more than the average expat.  Start fine-tuning the delivery now  :541:

 

 

Thanks Brett,

 

I have met a few online and they have the same views as I do. Now of course I know some may think they are just professing to have the same views but I have it on reputable authority (mutual acquaintance) that they are telling the truth and anyway at some point you just have to trust people. Someone could lie about being a virgin but why chance the other person finding out you are not. 

[Old55]

Back to topic.

When speaking face to face sometimes a kind polite but clear NO is best other times it may be better to change the subject or put off a direct answer to avoid hurting feelings or causing loss of face. THis is a difficult situation you want to be honest but by all means you need to prevent the other person to lose face especially if she is with family or friends.

 

If you are online things can be more direct but respectfully done. I see no problem you are a kind person.

Edited August 2, 2014 by Old55

[El Negrito]

To our relatively new member Big El, I salute you sir!  You have every right to practice and express your opinion in this forum.  But you must give me a chance to corrupt you more as you plan for your journey to the land of milk and honey......he, he.  

 

Trust me I am plenty corrupt! hehe No angel here!  :sign0095:  And don't you mean the land of milk and "honeys"  :thumbsup:

[El Negrito]

Back to topic.

When speaking face to face sometimes a kind polite but clear NO is best other times it may be better to change the subject or put off a direct answer to avoid hurting feelings or causing loss of face. THis is a difficult situation you want to be honest but by all means you need to prevent the other person to lose face especially if she is with family or friends.

 

If you are online things can be more direct but respectfully done. I see no problem you are a kind person.

 

Very good advice. Thanks for the insights.