How Many Of You Have Average Filipino Friends

[Mr Lee]

OK, so what do I mean by that, I mean average working people who sometimes do menial or low paying jobs.Now the reason I bring this up is because I have all too often seen foreigners treat hard working Filipinos poorly, and while we may have had a better chance at an education and may have been brought up in a first world country, IMHO we are all equal and no one is better than anyone else and therefore we as foreigners in a humble country, should really try to have patience and tolerance for the plight of the average Filipino worker, and maybe befriend more of them, and I am not talking just about the female versions, :wt-hell: because unless you have walked in their shoes, you cannot possibly understand how hard their life can often be, and how they may often view us.Now that brings me to my next thought on the same subject, one night when a Filipino family who just happen to be close friends of ours, were leaving our condo and I walked them down to the exit of our condo, a security guard at our building looked at me with a surprised expression and asked me in a very surprised voice, "you have Filipino friends sir?" and when I said yes and many, he was amazed that a foreigner could hang out with an average Filipino and that made me realize that we are often seen as thinking that we are better than the average working Filipino. I guess that guard had often seen round eyes coming and going from our home but may not have seen the Filipinos who also come and go to our home because I may have not walked them all down to the front or had not come down and got them when they arrived, or he was not on duty when they visited us. Maybe we all, or just those of us who want to, need to try just a little harder to not be seen as superior, because IMHO we are not.

[Panserhansen]

I have one - our driver. Excellent guy. We've had a few beers watching football and had many good talks about Cebu and the Philippines. First time I invited him to the pub I told him that I will always pay for the beers when we're out - until he starts making the same amount as me. I think it was a good idea to state that immideately so he doesn't feel he is exploiting me. Even if he wanted to pay my beers one day, I told him no way. I told him that I was making so much more money than him(not bragging, but stating the facts) and it would be me exploiting him if I let him do that. Anyway, I think that economical difference may be a gap not easy to overcome. Usually your friends will always pay for themselves, but if they should do so here, you actually couldn't spend that much time with them. They cannot afford an expensive(for them) dinner, drink a lot of beers, go to the movies for 150 peso, go on vacation etc.We're also taking him to Bangkok next month, this will be his first trip abroad. In return, he is doing some writing for me on my blog from a filipino point of view. The flights were pretty cheap and being a traveller myself, I pity him for not having the same opportunity. He is so excited to go.One time we invited him to our condo, and I told the guard that a filipino friend would arrive shortly. Even so, he called and told me the guard wouldn't let him in! I had to go down and fetch him.

[retired]

Depends on what you consider as an " average " Filipino . I would consider my neighbors as average and might have conservation from time to time but they are more acquiantances than friends . We have lots of Filipinos in and out of the house all the time because of my wife's activities and they are friends . The real question i guess is " how close " ?In the end i don't know if i answered your question . :wt-hell: But i think in this society it's just like in any society and friendships tend to be formed based on social class no matter where you live . Besides , I consider you as a friend and you are " far " above my social class . :wt-hell:

[TheMason]

I have Filipino friends that I met while working in the BPO industry and have made some new friends in my neighborhood since then. They are all above average when it comes to finances, but I consider them everday people. Some of them are rich, some are just well off, but none of them hold menial or low-paying jobs. I'm a middle-class person and tend to stick to the middle class for friends. I have more in common with them then I do the poor or wealthy. I also maintain a Filipino middle-class lifestyle here so they are the people I come in to the most contact with.I'm not an elitist, but I generally don't go out of my way to befriend poor people. I have very little in common with them due to different backgrounds, education level, etc. I wouldn't shun them if we happened to meet, but I don't seek them out for friendships.

[Mr Lee]

Depends on what you consider as an " average " Filipino . I would consider my neighbors as average and might have conservation from time to time but they are more acquiantances than friends . We have lots of Filipinos in and out of the house all the time because of my wife's activities and they are friends . The real question i guess is " how close " ?In the end i don't know if i answered your question . :508: But i think in this society it's just like in any society and friendships tend to be formed based on social class no matter where you live . Besides , I consider you as a friend and you are " far " above my social class . :wt-hell:

First of all Alan, I consider you a friend too, but I am not sure if your comment was directed at me? when you said above your class, because I know that I am not above anyone's class. I may have more daily money than some because I always lived my life way below my means, due to the fact that I grew up poor and lost a good job early on in my career life, so I knew what it was like to have and then not have, I guess I am also lucky enough to have my pensions, but that surely does not make me any higher class than anyone else IMO, and I may also have a lot less money than many seem to have and IMO that does not make them above my class, and besides I have a lot of class and it is not my fault if most of it seems to be low class. :540: :540: Anyway back to the topic at hand, I guess I was talking about the average working stiff, such as a security guard, a workman or a waiter. Many of us seem to have no problem going out with or being friends with a lady from the provinces or who may be much poorer than ourselves, yet when it comes to having other male Filipino friends besides some of our ladies family who may be in the same income class, we may tend to gravitate towards people more within our own range of life and there is nothing wrong with that and I am surely not saying that there is.While I would just guess that many of my friends are of the same status in life that I consider myself, middle class, I have also never lived my life with friends from just the middle class and while in the states I have some friends who are very poor and live in mobile homes and live day to day, and I have friends who are very rich and live in multi million dollar mansions on private islands yet they still seem to like to hang out with me for some unknown reason, :wt-hell: so maybe I may be somewhat different than some other people who live in or visit the Philippines and possibly that is because I worked at a number of low paying jobs when I was a kid growing up and therefore I feel that I can more relate to how life can be at the bottom and can empathize andtry to relate with the average working or poor Filipino. I guess what I am trying to advocate here is that more expats try to socialize and get friendly with some average hard working class Filipinos, so we can all better understand what their life is like for them. I read on another forum about a guy who wanted a waiter fired because his food smelled when he got home after eating out, and that made me wonder if he realized that the waiter may have never eaten out in a restaurant in his or her life and may not have even realized what that food should smell like, because he or she may have more important things to do with their earnings, like try to exist. So I guess that is what brought me to think back about when I met my wife to be, and I asked her a question about the food in the restaurant in CDO and she said, "what do I know, I have never eaten in a restaurant like this before" and I could not believe it. Any comments all? Edited June 11, 2009 by Mr. Lee

[Panserhansen]

Any comments all?

My wife and I went to a coctail party at Sarrosa. Seemed to be a lot of rich people there, and none of them were actually smiling. We were both walking around in shorts while the others were dressed up, despite I was told this was going to be casual.When we saw our chamber maid, we saw our first smile of the day, and we felt much more comfortable around her. The upnosed filipinos probably thought we were low class because of that, but I don't give a damn if they think so. I also have some friends back home who is considered to have a lot of money, but they never talk about it and they are all down to earth. I think rich filipinos are way much worse upnosed than westerners with money, and I'd be rather be chased by wolves on a slippery floor around the kitchen table than hanging out with those.We've also seen this in Norway. Going to some gatherings where some filipino people consider themselves upper class, feeling so eager to mingle with the ambassadeur or whatever. Correction, one gathering - after that we stayed home.You also see that in Philippines newspapers, one rich kid is able to tie his shoelazes and you have 7 full pages of rich filipinos congratulating to get their names on the list.No, give me the working class filipino any given day instead.Walk on,Lars

[parksb2]

OK, so what do I mean by that, I mean average working people who sometimes do menial or low paying jobs.Now the reason I bring this up is because I have all too often seen foreigners treat hard working Filipinos poorly, and while we may have had a better chance at an education and may have been brought up in a first world country, IMHO we are all equal and no one is better than anyone else and therefore we as foreigners in a humble country, should really try to have patience and tolerance for the plight of the average Filipino worker, and maybe befriend more of them, and I am not talking just about the female versions, :lol: because unless you have walked in their shoes, you cannot possibly understand how hard their life can often be, and how they may often view us.Now that brings me to my next thought on the same subject, one night when a Filipino family who just happen to be close friends of ours, were leaving our condo and I walked them down to the exit of our condo, a security guard at our building looked at me with a surprised expression and asked me in a very surprised voice, "you have Filipino friends sir?" and when I said yes and many, he was amazed that a foreigner could hang out with an average Filipino and that made me realize that we are often seen as thinking that we are better than the average working Filipino. I guess that guard had often seen round eyes coming and going from our home but may not have seen the Filipinos who also come and go to our home because I may have not walked them all down to the front or had not come down and got them when they arrived, or he was not on duty when they visited us. Maybe we all, or just those of us who want to, need to try just a little harder to not be seen as superior, because IMHO we are not.

I married one, and through her and extened family have met many. Many have commented that they steer away from "foreigners" until they know them via acquaintence etc. As sadly by and large the PPM label applies (pervert, pedophiles and misfits) ... Not their words mine ! A lot of "round eyes" do have an I'm better than you attitude or shy away from friendships as its a great way to become a target also.... When I'm intro'd as bana of Ping life gets easier; my Cebuano is poor at best. But most of my wifes friends speak good English. Living for 5 months fairly simply in the Phils with a friendly bride and a friendly attitude is a grat way to meet people... Maybe not everyone needs to get married to experience this... :)