A Woman Without A Heart And A Man With Too Much

[palu]

I don;t know where to put this on the forum but here it is. It all started on an internet site almost 2 years ago. I spied the profile and picture of a filipina and yes, fell for her right then and there. Stupid? Yes, but how do you control the human heart? I never learned the secret. We communicated on skype for about 4 months and I asked her to marry me and she said yes. It was at this time I started to financially support her. Within several months I traveled to the Philippines and while waiting for the marriage licence waiting period we vacationed on Palawan. We tried to be intimate but she said it hurt too much. I told myself it was probably because she only knew me in person a couple of days. I had to return to the US to get back to work to support her, me and to save for our future together. After 27 years of being divorced, I finally found a woman I could completely trust. I might add that I am 60 and she was 31. I started to file for CR1 immigration visa for my beloved. As anyone who has done it knows, that is a full time job. Along with this, I was working up to 12 and 1/2 hours a day with most weeks being 7 day workweeks.My wife was all I thought of.....she was my whole life. I was proud to be able to completely support her and allow her to live a life of ease at her family compound. Whatever she wanted she got. we talked of her going to nursing school in the US and possibly of children. We joked about sex upon occasion and discussed her going on birth control until she finished school here. She went to a local doctor there in the Philippines and bought 3 months of birth control pills that she would start when she came to the US. We had told each other our histories  including our sexual histories. She had told me that she had had only one boyfriend and they had sex 4 or 5 times and that she enjoyed it but did not think he did. He ended up marrying someone else.

Joys of joys, the day came when she arrived in the US, you could not imagine how happy I was. I was on top of the world. I had worked my butt off preparing everything for her arrival , new everything. Nothing was too good for my wife.. Second night here I started to caress her and out of that small body came a howl " Your too old for sex ! what are you on Viagra??" I was stunned." My father is not interested in sex and neither should you be" I replied hypertension and being with the same woman for 35 years will do it. I went and slept on the couch. The next day she moved into the guest room and 2 days later announced she stopped birth control. In a couple of days she announced she did not love me. Again, I was stunned. I had been spending all of my waking hours running here and there purchasing a long list of things she just had to have RIGHT NOW. School she wanted right now, Learning to drive she wanted right now. Running around and meeting other filipinas in the area right now. You get the picture except for the fact that she contributed nothing to the household at all. I asked if she wanted to go home. Her eyes lite up "and it will be as before ?' meaning are you still going to be supporting me ?  I told her no, that means divorce. I was desperately in love with her but could take no more.Next stop my attorney. Annulment based on fraud and no consummation of the marriage. This was less than one month after she got arrived in the US and we now wait for the 30 days and the judge's signature.We continued to occupy the same house with more tension than I have ever experienced. I will admit that I still loved her and broke down at least 6 times and begged her to let us try again and I would stop the annulment in its tracks. Her response "I don't believe in second chances".

Last week I began to notice that she would always go outside beyond my hearing when her phone rang, texting for hours behind her closed bedroom door, and last Thursday noticed she had applied makeup to out with another filipina (first time since our wedding). After she left the house, I decided to do something I never did...snoop. I went into her backpack and there were her birth control. She had never stopped.No sleep for me that day and off to work that night for my 12 and 1/2 hour shift. I came home that morning and kicked her out. I have not heard from her, nor do I know where she is. There are some lucid moments when I realize that she just used me all this time and in equal measure I know I still care.

That is the story of my first and only relationship with a filipina. Do I think all filipinas are the same ? No, not all for I know many men who are thrilled with their filipina wives. But I know it will be a long time before I will ever enter into a relationship with another.          

[Jake]

That is the story of my first and only relationship with a filipina. Do I think all filipinas are the same ? No, not all for I know many men who are thrilled with their filipina wives. But I know it will be a long time before I will ever enter into a relationship with another.          

A Woman Without A Heart And A Man With Too Much

 

Hello Palu,

 

I must commend you for revealing this in the open forum.  In many ways, I feel your pain and anger.

I would rather catch a  bullet than suffer the pains of the heart.  It is deep and it seems like it will

never go away.

 

But at least you are slowly recovering and beginning to have a positive outlook on life again.  Please

take it one step at a time.  I wish this forum has a virtual bar so all of us can cry over our beers and

howl to the moon all night.  Believe me, you are not alone.

 

Respectfully -- Jake 

Edited August 8, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[Lou49]

Thanks for sharing your story Palu. You have probably saved some other guys a lot of pain by posting here.

[frosty (chris)]

A very sad story, should be compulsory reading for any one thinking about forming a relationship online, wish I could say something to ease your pain, just hang in there mate, best of luck and hope the future is a little kinder to you and your heart.

[Methersgate]

Thank you for posting that.

[stevewool]

So sorry to read your sad news, there is good and bad in everyone,

Being with someone you love and they are not loving you is terrible but you can never ever by there love,

[Papa Carl]

Palu, thank you for your post, I agree it may help others, which I am sure does not quiet your soul. You are not the first and for sure not the last to experience such a personal disaster, and there are members here who could almost echo your story.

 

I like your attitude towards Filipina's in general, one bad apple.....,

 

Mend, take time and when you are ready, get your feet wet once again.

 

I know it is only a saying, however it rings true in most cases. 

 

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" (Alfred Lord Tennyson")

 

 

Papa Carl

[Hey Steve]

Palu, I have been there too (in similar circumstances). I'm sorry to hear how this panned out, but not being bitter to all, seems to be a healthy step on the road to recovery.

I bounced back and am very happily married to a wonderful filipina. Giving your heart a second chance after wounds are healed can result in the true happiness you seek. All the best as you look forward.

Respectfully, Steve 

Edited August 8, 2014 by Hey Steve

[Methersgate]

Second night here I started to caress her and out of that small body came a howl " You're too old for sex ! what are you on Viagra??" I was stunned." My father is not interested in sex and neither should you be" I replied hypertension and being with the same woman for 35 years will do it. I went and slept on the couch. The next day she moved into the guest room and 2 days later announced she stopped birth control. In a couple of days she announced she did not love me.

 

The "You are too old for sex" is not perhaps unusual; I don't know if Filipino men do in fact lose interest in sex in their fifties, but it certainly seems that some Filipinas think they should.

[Medic Mike]

Terrific but sad story. Like my friend Jake said, you will find a few stories like that among the forum members. I must admit I have my own as well. I think the one thing I have learned about the pinay, at least when it comes to me anyways, is to find a girl that is intellegent with ambitions to better herself internally, not so much material wise, if that makes sense. However, I do know some forum members that have been lucky enough to find a simple but beautiful pinay, however with hearts of gold. Sometimes that heart of gold is all you need. Finding it among the crowds is somewhat difficult.