I Am Probably The Father Of A 1 Year Old Child

[afathertobe]

Advice? Make mistakes, don't learn from them and be happy with whatever life throws at you. I have been incredibly happy these past three days. 

 

If you are not as stupid as me: don't rely on the "I'll be able to pull out in time" method.  :cheersty:

[afathertobe]

On a more serious note, I will have to start researching on the whole process. His family name is still that of the guy who thought was the father, and he is more than a little bit angry and sad about the news...so if anyone knows the steps involved to get registered as the father and legal guardian without marrying that would be very helpful. 

[MacBubba]

Congratulations!

[robert k]

If you can't come up with any other advise, I would start looking in the direction of a paternity suit, which unopposed should be extremely short and I believe would give you legal standing.

[Americano]

Have you seen the other foreigner or at least a picture of him to see if the baby looks like him too?

[Methersgate]

The view of Philippines society which is "widely held" - that of a nation of rather devout and conservative Catholics - is sadly at variance with the facts.

In theory, the law provides that an illegitimate child must take the name of the mother; however in practice the putative father often puts his name on the birth certificate and the child is given his surname.

 

Marriage in the Philippines is becoming less and less popular. This is of course a consequence of the lack of divorce. People prefer not to marry at all. This means that identifying the number of single mothers from the census data is difficult, because very often the putative father will enter his name on the birth certificate even where he fails to provide for the mother. It looks as if roughly half of all births are now to unmarried mothers and some people guess that the proportion of unmarried mothers  who are actually single might be half of that number.

Someone is a very fortunate young woman, since the chances of the typical Filipino or foreign father jumping on a plane and flying in to accept the obligations of paternity and offering to support a child where the relationship has been broken off are almost vanishingly small.

 

The enthusiasm with which you are viewed by her family reflects this.

 

Be very, very, sure that you get a genuine independent DNA test.

 

Armed with that, then, since you will certainly have the mother's consent, it should be a "reasonably" simple matter to have the Birth Certificate re-issued in a more correct form. 
 

My oldest son's birth certificate was re-issued after I married his mother to show that he was now "legitimated by marriage of parents".

Edited September 1, 2014 by Methersgate

[afathertobe]

Have you seen the other foreigner or at least a picture of him to see if the baby looks like him too?

 

Yes, not a bad looking guy at all but very different face than me and the baby. Hence the guy's increasing unrest, the baby never liked him either apparently, always started crying.

 

And the older he got the more my son started to look like me, a fact that did not go unnoticed by both of them... she knew, he suspected it.. so he secretely got some DNA samples, tested it back home and confronted  her with the results. They got another DNA test done in Manila, same result, he was never heard of again and the rest is history.

 

And now I have an amazing healthy little son who laughs when he sees me and cries when I leave :dance:

[afathertobe]

The view of Philippines society which is "widely held" - that of a nation of rather devout and conservative Catholics - is sadly at variance with the facts.

In theory, the law provides that an illegitimate child must take the name of the mother; however in practice the putative father often puts his name on the birth certificate and the child is given his surname.

 

Marriage in the Philippines is becoming less and less popular. This is of course a consequence of the lack of divorce. People prefer not to marry at all. This means that identifying the number of single mothers from the census data is difficult, because very often the putative father will enter his name on the birth certificate even where he fails to provide for the mother. It looks as if roughly half of all births are now to unmarried mothers and some people guess that the proportion of unmarried mothers  who are actually single might be half of that number.

Someone is a very fortunate young woman, since the chances of the typical Filipino or foreign father jumping on a plane and flying in to accept the obligations of paternity and offering to support a child where the relationship has been broken off are almost vanishingly small.

 

The enthusiasm with which you are viewed by her family reflects this.

 

Be very, very, sure that you get a genuine independent DNA test.

 

Armed with that, then, since you will certainly have the mother's consent, it should be a "reasonably" simple matter to have the Birth Certificate re-issued in a more correct form. 

 

My oldest son's birth certificate was re-issued after I married his mother to show that he was now "legitimated by marriage of parents".

 

Much appreciated advice, thanks.

 

I tried to read up a bit on the subject, and to the best of my current, limited knowledge the following steps have to be undertaken:

 

a) change the birth certificate (which the alleged father has signed) with proof of the two DNA test (the negative one of the alleged and the positive one of me)

 

b) apply for a change of surname at the civil register from the alleged father's to my family name, his middle name is already her family name which seems customary in the Phils.

 

c) (optional) apply for a second first name if possible to give him a name we choose together

 

d) declare him as my son in Switzerland, which automatically gives him Swiss citizenship (yes!) and a great many opportunities including free education in the future. also makes our lifes easier for visits to either China or Switzerland for Visa reasons etc.

 

I know that as an illegitimate child the custody is with the mother, but what are the rights as a father? Am I the legal guardian, can I make decisions on behalf of the child, register him at school or similar things?

 

Just to clarify, I don't intend to marry her, we are not a couple, even though we get along really well. I intend to give my son a great life and future, and by extension that also means to his mother to some extent. But I will not take them to either Switzerland or China at the moment, and doubt they would even want that, it certainly hasn't been a point of discussion.

 

And you're right, perhaps the enthusiasm with which I embrace fatherhood is a bit unusual, I didn't plan to become a father anytime soon and I have successfully avoided getting caught by a woman so far. But I am not one to struggle with my fate in life, I have an incredible, funny, noisy and energetic little man as a son and I'm in the fortunate position to be able to support him without getting into professional or financial difficulties, so I embrace it wholeheartedly.

 

I've always been a mad f@#ker, so be it - not afraid of judgement, just proud of my son. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

I tried to read up a bit on the subject, and to the best of my current, limited knowledge the following steps have to be undertaken:   a) change the birth certificate (which the alleged father has signed) with proof of the two DNA test (the negative one of the alleged and the positive one of me)   b) apply for a change of surname at the civil register from the alleged father's to my family name, his middle name is already her family name which seems customary in the Phils.

 

Do you realize how expensive and time consuming those steps will be?  There will undoubtedly be people along the way who will offer you illegal 'shortcuts' which we do not discuss on this forum.  I suggest, from experience, that you keep an open mind to that possibility.

[Methersgate]

1. Yes the middle name is the mother's family name.

 

2. No, you do not become the legal guardian; those rights remain with the mother and in fact your rights are rather few.

 

3, As a matter of interest I did take the mother of my son to China with me before we married
; there was no difficulty in her getting a visa.

 

4. The grant of Swiss citizenship to the little boy may well confer a right of abode on the mother as well; you may like to check this.

Edited September 2, 2014 by Methersgate