Marrying A Filipina

[rfhypnos]

I have recently decided to begin the process of marrying a Filopina woman, first with applying for fiance visa and finally probably marrying her here and after sale of my house in US, moving to Bohol.  What I have encountered by some friends and many relatives in resistance and disapproval is incredibly discouraging.  Most of them first of all think I am a fool for even considering at 68 marrying a 42 year old woman even though she has an impeccable reputation in her personal life.  And then in addition to that virtually all of them assume her intention is only monetary and lifelong securtiy without even considering that she may be in love with me.  I wonder if other members here have experienced this and how they decided to respond to all of this negative non support?  I have a few very open minded friends and relatives who are supportive of whatever I do in my life that makes me happy is ok with them, but only a few.   rfhypnos

[jon1]

There are lots of preconceived notions and stereotyping within the US. To me, it's my business not theirs. If they want to jeopardize their relationship with me over who I choose to be my wife/partner then I am better off without them. I am 50 with a 30 year old wife. 

 

If I was you I would be more concerned about meeting all of the Fiance' Visa requirements. Is there any reason why you do not want to try to move to Bohol for a trial period first (extended visit)? That way you still have a place to go back to should it not be your cup of tea. Have you lived in the Philippines before? Also, getting to spend some extended time there (3-5 months) could give you a good idea of what you are walking into. You need to consider medical care options and somehow Bohol doesn't come to mind to me for that.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I got married over here in the PI's recently.  Quite easy!   I don't know what my friends and family feel about it because I have not seen them in a couple years ha ha.  My daughter just asked if I love my wife, my son it said it was time for me to live for me.   Don't really care what anyone else says.  If I do get any naysayers later I will just try and ignore them - but perhaps in their own way they do mean well.    :tiphat:

[Hey Steve]

Have you gone to her to see her as this is one of the requirements of a K1 Visa process?. That visit - and your own observations as to how that lifestyle may work for you will allow you to make better decisions as to eventually selling your home and moving to the Philippines. I wish you all the best with her and as I see it, only I am responsible for my own happiness, since I have been critisized in the past by family as well. (10 months later we are still on our honeymoon).

[stevewool]

You dont say how long you have been seeing you lady friend, that may help with giving you a better answer to what you are asking

[rfhypnos]

I met Cleofe more than  a year ago and spent a week with her then, we chatted off an on over the year, then I went back and we stayed together for several weeks this year.  She told me she was in love with me the first week of last year.  I didn't believe it because we had only chatted for about 6 months and were together for a week at that point.  I am a little worried about the horror stories I read about Filipinas leaving their spouses just after getting their green card here.  I am 68 and she is 42, so I thought it might be less likely and she would be more comfortable living near her family in Bohol.  Both parents are late 70s and of course she has 7 siblings of which she is the second youngest daughter.  She is currently working in Makati and spent 12 years in the convent, speaks Italian and very good English in addition to Tagolog and Cebuano. I lived in the Philippines and traveled to most of the islands two years ago for four months. So I guess maybe I am being too cautious or selfish saying that maybe living there for a year or so would make sense to see how we get along and then immigrate or get a green card as a married spouse? 

[MikeB]

So I guess maybe I am being too cautious or selfish saying that maybe living there for a year or so would make sense to see how we get along and then immigrate or get a green card as a married spouse? 

Maybe I'm misunderstanding. You want to get a fiancee visa to bring her to the US, then move to Bohol for a year, then immigrate to the US? Too many moves. Why not move to Bohol, get married (IF it works out) then take it from there? Take it slow and keep it simple.

[rfhypnos]

Thanks,  I think that makes sense too.  I'll sure find out quickly whether this relationship will work and whether I can consider living either temporarily or permanently in the Philippines.  Actually I think that was my first plan and suggestion to my gf.  But I have this house to sell.  I don't want anymore relationships after this one so I really want it work and be the right one.  Anybody using prenuptials in the Philippines?

[Alby]

If I were you, rfhypnos, I would live here for a while first. I would not get into any relationship for now coz most females here are VERY desperate for a Kano financial savior. They will start thinking but after the fact and not before.

I don't blame them but then also I don't want to be a victim!

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[Julia]

Don't really care what anyone else says

:th_exactly:

 

don't they know that even a  42 yr. old woman is capable of feeling real love and falling in love with a 68 yrs. old? :-kiss:  If one is in love, age doesn't even really matter at all. there is nothing really wrong with that... unless the woman is 68 yrs. old and the man is 42 yrs. old, right?  :89:  but that for sure is another topic...