Age Difference Hypocrisy

[davewe]

Not sure if this fits the hypocrisy part of this post so spank me if I am :444:  but here goes.

 

  I fully understand the physical attraction but PokerMike's recent post about his 5 marriages, it got me wondering about the mental aspect of the relationship between someone in their 60's and a girl in their 20's. It seems to me (and I could be very wrong here which is why I am asking) where do you find commonality for conversation?  I mean a person in their 60's grew up with the Turtles, Zombies and Steppenwolf (assuming they were rockers and not C&W fans).  She grew up with Katie Perry, Lady Gaga and Hip Hop.  Even if she loves sports, she likely has no idea who Dick Butkus or Bart Starr are. 

 

 

I agree that for many people this is important - that there partner share their cultural history. I am 61. The last thing I want to do is to reminisce about the Beatles and Bart Starr. But that's just me; I realize that many do. I find it fascinating, wonderful (and sometimes exasperating) to tell my wife about things from my past, the country's past and the planet's past. I love showing her old movies; some she loves, some she hates. We spent hours not long ago talking about 9-11 - which because of her age and where she is from she knew nothing about. She was shocked to see the videos and asked dozens of questions.

 

So yes, some people need a partner with commonality. If you marry a Filipina and one who is younger - there will be very little commonality - but for me that is a true joy!

[Thomas]

 

 

if you are a realistic person you'd finally come to the conclusion that there is no such as love.

 

Wow, I kinda thought the glass was half full but you are saying its empty.  Better take off my rose colored sunglasses.

 

Still, a girl who stays by my side through a near fatal hospital stay, takes care of me and takes care of my money (which she needs full access to while I am in the hospital, tells everyone she loves me, does not have time away from me to visit friends or 'other lovers', and is constantly at my side wanting to touch me and kiss me . . . .  she may not love me (as you say) but whatever that is . .  I'll take it.

 

 

Her options are limited. It is either you or that guy down the street living with his mother and getting 500 pesos a month from his sister in Singapore.

Well. I know a lot a Filipina FRIENDS, who want an older man - prefering foreigners - to reduce the risk to be cheated/left with kids AGAIN by irresponciible YOUNG Filipinos...

 

Sure but then I spoke for 95% of cases when you, Dave, spoke for maybe a 2% of cases!

Let's say I am wrong ...

Would you then recommend moving to a land you don't know and to a culture you don't know and fall inlove, to anybody?

Note: never ever generalize a small % to justify a majority.

Btw - sure there are love   :)

But there are different types of love. Sure SOME Filinas love a much older foreigner e g triggered by him being much linder to her and kids than many young Filipinos are.    But you can be right concerning the young Filipina's love can be less pashionate type   :)

 

I wouldn't fall in love with ANYbofy   :lol:     at least not marry anybody even if loving her, if it isn't good long time suiting chance too.

 

Methersgate, on 19 Sept 2014 - 2:14 PM, said: K's family are rice farmers. I know what her parents' income is - it is around 130,000 pesos a year - two harvests from which they can reckon to sell 40-50 cavans of rice, plus twenty cavans that they keep for their own food 130 000 for 40-50 cavans rice?? I know rice prices has went up since I checked 1.5 years ago, but back then farmers got only 700 - 1000 p/ sack and then it was 50 kg sacks. (cavan =40 kg if I remember corect.) when farmers sold, and around 1300 - 1400p/sack when retailers bought milled rice.,

 

TWO harvests from which they can reckon to sell 40-50 cavans....

 

In other words 80-100 cavans sold per year.

Oh you ment PER HARVEST, I thought your text ment totaly.  OK.

[Methersgate]

Btw - sure there are love But there are different types of love. Sure SOME Filinas love a much older foreigner e g triggered by him being much linder to her and kids than many young Filipinos are. But you can be right concerning the young Filipina's love can be less pashionate type I wouldn't fall in love with ANYbofy at least not marry anybody even if loving her, if it isn't good long time suiting chance too.

A cynic would say that many Filipinas get exactly what they want - an older foreigner for security and kindness and a young Filipino stud on the "sideline" for passion.

 

If, as an older foreigner, you want her to love you passionately, you have to work a damn sight harder at it than just paying the bills and being nice. Can you make her laugh? Can you sing karaoke well? Can you still get by on a dance floor? Can you remember how to be exciting and fascinating and slightly "dangerous" as well as safe and secure?

I'm off to the gym...

 

Edited October 31, 2014 by Methersgate

[Thomas]

 

Btw - sure there are love But there are different types of love. Sure SOME Filinas love a much older foreigner e g triggered by him being much linder to her and kids than many young Filipinos are. But you can be right concerning the young Filipina's love can be less pashionate type I wouldn't fall in love with ANYbofy at least not marry anybody even if loving her, if it isn't good long time suiting chance too.

A cynic would say that many Filipinas get exactly what they want - an older foreigner for security and kindness and a young Filipino stud on the "sideline" for passion.

 

If, as an older foreigner, you want her to love you passionately, you have to work a damn sight harder at it than just paying the bills and being nice. Can you make her laugh? Can you sing karaoke well? Can you still get by on a dance floor? Can you remember how to be exciting and fascinating and slightly "dangerous" as well as safe and secure?

I'm off to the gym...

Corect,  that's common.

 

Well. I DON'T expect a young Filipina to love me pashionate, BUT I expect her to love me enough to not cheat.  I think of inforcing it by have a paragraph in a prenup telling she will get (almost) nothing if we split by she cheat.  

But it's ok if she THINK of some movie star, which she DON'T meet   :lol:

 

((  /She find me funny, I suppouse for real, because some of my jokes I  make with serious poker face and almost allways she laugh in corect places anyway, although it's hard to understand jokes from someone with other culture.

/I can sing karaoke - bad   :lol:     (I think of buying a simpler karaoke mashine after I have settled in Phils.)

/Now I',m to injured in knee to dance, but before that I were picked to the region team in "bug" dance  (=a calmer version of jitterbug.) 

/I LIKE to do new things and take calculated risks. A prood of that is I'm planning to start business in Phils!!!  :lol:

[pokermike]

Common interests with a young woman, well you have to work on that. For me i find it is easy , i love modern music my favorite songs are Blurred Lines and Thrift Store , a lot of hip hop . Left most of the old music behind in my life will listen to 70's and 80's once in awhile, so there we are on very common ground. i still love to dance but need to learn some new moves , so she is working with me. We both love nature , any water sport but hiking our favorite. We both are addticted to the gym and she is working hard  trying to increase her stamina so she can keep up with me , i have a very high energy level. She has struggled on several of our more difficult hikes but is getting better. I have done many local tv commercials so i must look okay to women because if i am alone in a bar , i am surprised that i always get asked to dance never fails. Plus its almost always by younger women , my oldest daughter brags about the fact. Once we went to a party together and she said i got more action than her.  Now that i am married to my 20 year old beautiful and fit wife, i am looking forward to doing what i have to do to try and make this marriage work. We have alot in common but you cant stop trying new things.  Poker Mike

[pokermike]

 I look back at my last 4 marriages and realize that the biggest was single issue that endend my interest in them was how they got lazy. If i stood still in front of them for a while i could see them start gaining weight. They were all very beautiful , in fact two were models and one was a bit movie star and a lot younger than me. it was not  enough for me , i told myself this time forget about the lust and looks and try to find someone who likes the same things as myself and wants to try to live a live of adventure and now i have found her. Its not always about me i let her choose many of our adventures, she will look at me and say is this dangerous and a few times i have had to say yes, she asks could we die and i have had to say yes. She will then look at me and say i am not worried you will save me and she will smile and say "lets do it". We both liking the shooting range , forgot about that . Traveling is the most fun with her she loves the way the way i create fun for her. i will take her to the airport , with no idea of where we are going and jsut pick somewhere she has never been , no reservations or anyhting set up, no hotels nothing , just go on the fly. Poker Mike               Wow i am a bum now can chat a lot, cant believe i got laid off weird feeling not working time to enjoy my life

[Kuya John]

Not quite sure where "Hypocrisy" comes into this topic.

If two people feel comfortable with their situation why knock it. Whatever their reasons for being together, if they are happy keep your nose out! My own feelings tell me, no I would not feel comfortable with a much younger lady. But as they say one man's meat is another man's poison. As for infidelity, whatever the reason given, excuses are not acceptable. Anyone who has suffered the hurt that causes ( I did as a much younger man) will tell you, once trust has gone walk away. JB

[El Negrito]

Not quite sure where "Hypocrisy" comes into this topic.

 

OP was about how it is acceptable for famous people to marry much younger (men and women) but for men who go to PI or anywhere and marry 10-40 years younger it is an unacceptable.

 

 

As for infidelity, whatever the reason given, excuses are not acceptable. Anyone who has suffered the hurt that causes ( I did as a much younger man)

 

Agreed been there done that and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Only thing worse is a spouse passing away. I have done both and would go through divorce any day over the other option. (Sorry it still pains me to say the "D" word)

[Hey Steve]

Not quite sure where "Hypocrisy" comes into this topic.

If two people feel comfortable with their situation why knock it. Whatever their reasons for being together, if they are happy keep your nose out! My own feelings tell me, no I would not feel comfortable with a much younger lady. But as they say one man's meat is another man's poison. As for infidelity, whatever the reason given, excuses are not acceptable. Anyone who has suffered the hurt that causes ( I did as a much younger man) will tell you, once trust has gone walk away. JB

 

 As for infidelity, whatever the reason given, excuses are not acceptable. Anyone who has suffered the hurt that causes ( I did as a much younger man) will tell you, once trust has gone walk away. JB

I have experienced the loss and I don't believe there's any greater pain-including being the victim of infidelity

[Kuya John]

 

Not quite sure where "Hypocrisy" comes into this topic.

 

OP was about how it is acceptable for famous people to marry much younger (men and women) but for men who go to PI or anywhere and marry 10-40 years younger it is an unacceptable.

 

 

 

 

As for infidelity, whatever the reason given, excuses are not acceptable. Anyone who has suffered the hurt that causes ( I did as a much younger man)

 

Agreed been there done that and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Only thing worse is a spouse passing away. I have done both and would go through divorce any day over the other option. (Sorry it still pains me to say the "D" word)

 

Like wise I too have experienced both and was left with a 8 year old daughter to bring up when my late wife passed.

I stayed single for11 years after.