Dating And The Law Of Averages

[Mr Lee]

I have to wonder why it is that so many men on the forums seem to be so down on ladies from the Philippines, while others are so in favor of them? Could it be that the ones who seem to hate Filipinas and think they are all scammers are the ones who were also not good at dating back in their own countries and who are not good at sorting out the bs and reading between the lines. Dating and life IMO are more about seeing the things that are not readily visible and not those that are staring you in the eye. I think dating in any country is governed by the law of averages. Now what do I mean by that, I mean that ladies we meet in the streets, or are introduced to by friends or meet on the Internet, some are bound to be good, some are bound to be very good, others are bound to be bad and yet others are bound to be very bad. I do not really think it is about how we meet them and I think it is more about how street wise and dating wise the man is and how good he is at reading between the lines and how observant he is when he is with the lady and her family. Many men get blinded by beauty or physical attraction or are so starved for affection that when they meet a Filipina and she shows signs of affection and warmth, he stops looking at all other things and often gets tunnel vision. Example, I met my wife via letters many years ago and before the Internet and we are very happy, I also happen to know many men who have met Filipinas the same way, and some are happily married and some ended in divorce. Why is that? Could it be that they did not see the obvious signs? One lady who my wife and I met as soon as she got to the states had been working overseas and was wearing extremely sexy revealing clothing and a lot of jewelry and she made numerous comments about items my wife and I had and that she wanted the same things. To me, she was spoiled and and unless the guy had big bucks, which he didn't, we felt their marriage might end in divorce, and it did not long after she got her citizenship. Another man was in his 60's and married a girl who had just turned 20 and she was full of life and always ready to run around and he was more into TV, sports and staying home, their marriage also ended in divorce not long after she got her permanent green card. Now I am not saying it was because of age, I am saying they were two different types. Now I could go on an on but what is the point, the point is that both those ladies were so obvious to me and my wife that all the man had to do was open his eyes, but alas that was the problem, their eyes were only focused on the beauty and not the person.Next, the marriages that seemed to work out were men who seemed to be astute at dating, had dated numerous ladies here in the states and were not happy with what those ladies seemed to exude, so they, like I, sought a woman who might not be as spoiled and who might have better values, some found them as I did and some found women who were no different than the ones they could have married back here in the states.Now the point I am getting at in this long drawn out post is, when dating, keep your eyes open for the signs of things you do not seek in a wife, look at the family and are they simple living people or do they show signs of wanting too much. Remember that the apple does not fall far from the tree and IMO if the mother and family are spoiled, the lady is also bound to be, but there are always exceptions to the rule. See the signs guys, no matter if you are Internet dating or meeting in person, the signs are there to see and unless the lady is a very good actress, you should be able to see them if you give it enough time and do not rush into the relationship. Does she prefer Jollibee or want to go out to a fancy place to eat, and if you go out to a nice place, does she pick the most expensive thing on the menu or a lower priced item, when out in the malls, does she look at the most expensive things and wish to buy them or have you buy them for her or does she look at the items on sale and refuse them when you offer to buy them for her, does she want the newest fanciest cell phone or is she happy with one that will just do the job, is she trying to keep up with her friends or is she her own person and satisfied with what she has, and so on and so on. Next when you go over to her families home, do they ask for anything from you or do they try to do for you without having their hand out. Example, my wife and I went over to a friend and his ladies home in the Philippines because they invited us, and they put on a pretty extravagant food display, but during the meal her sister asked me, a guest in their home that she did not even know and had never met before, to help out with her beauty project and her father who also never met me before, asked if I could contribute to the food they had served us. Both of those seemed to be red flags to me and looking around the house and listening to the conversation about what they wanted to get would have made me run away as fast as I could, but he had already decided and not asked my opinion and it was not my place to give it anyway. Time will tell how their marriage works out and I pray it works out well. I hope my post has not offended anyone and I am only trying to open peoples eyes, look and you shall see.Anyone have any comments or would like to add their own ideas, they are of course welcome.

Edited June 22, 2009 by Mr. Lee

[Malibogmike]

WOW damn i seen all of this and from two different ladies that i"ve been with and thanks for the info.

[til]

Speaking of averages and such:One thing every guy who met his first Filipina online should do, is chat to other Filipinas.It will give you a feeling how nice the average Filipina (hoping for a husband or money or a green card) will be to just about anybody. Not just the niceness, you will learn about other things that are "typical Filipina" as well. This will help you understand your "chosen one" better and also immunize yourself against some of the typical buttering up they will do.

[Mr Lee]

Speaking of averages and such:One thing every guy who met his first Filipina online should do, is chat to other Filipinas.It will give you a feeling how nice the average Filipina (hoping for a husband or money or a green card) will be to just about anybody. Not just the niceness, you will learn about other things that are "typical Filipina" as well. This will help you understand your "chosen one" better and also immunize yourself against some of the typical buttering up they will do.

Great point til, I had many writing to me and I tried to keep as many as I could as friends until they no longer wished to be friends. I learned from each lady and to this day, I still try to learn from each person that I meet, be it woman or man, American or someone from another country. Learning is what life is all about and anyone who thinks they know it all is a fool IMHO.

[Bruce]

Speaking of averages and such:One thing every guy who met his first Filipina online should do, is chat to other Filipinas.It will give you a feeling how nice the average Filipina (hoping for a husband or money or a green card) will be to just about anybody. Not just the niceness, you will learn about other things that are "typical Filipina" as well. This will help you understand your "chosen one" better and also immunize yourself against some of the typical buttering up they will do.

Great point til, I had many writing to me and I tried to keep as many as I could as friends until they no longer wished to be friends. I learned from each lady and to this day, I still try to learn from each person that I meet, be it woman or man, American or someone from another country. Learning is what life is all about and anyone who thinks they know it all is a fool IMHO.

Will someone PLEASE take that Buddist handbook away from Lee! The older he gets, the nicer he tries to be, and quite frankly, it is creaping me out!

[Mik]

Lee is luckier than most at finding a good partner.Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.- H. L. Mencken

[Mr Lee]

Lee is luckier than most at finding a good partner.

Thank you Mike. I would say that some of it had to be luck because I am surely not that smart :th_thsmilies-29057: and that I have gained a lot of insight over the years of watching others, yet I think most of it was patience and asking the right questions and looking for someone who seemed to have similar interests or would at least be flexible enough to bend to my ways, as I was willing to bend to her ways. I also know that those of us who make the same mistakes over and over are destined to fail over and over, so I did my best to not make all the same mistakes with Nila as I made with my last wife.