Gossip And How It Affects Us

[Dave Hounddriver]

My partner just told me the gossip about a guy named "X" who is married to her ate Dixie.  Seems X lives/works in the US and visits Camotes a couple/few times a year and when he is gone Dixie is a whore.  The best part is when X came for a visit and Dixie was pregnant with some filipino's kid but she does not say anything.  On X's next visit the kid has been born and is living with D's mother and still D says nothing.  X does not seem too bright, or maybe he knows what is going on and chooses to look the other way.  Seems X is the same age as me and I can see his profile on Facebook but I chose not to contact him.  I mean what could I say?  I have seen this happen many times before and when I have dropped clear hints the man chooses to ignore them.

 

Of course I have also been on the receiving end of similar gossip about me and would not believe the 'malicious' things people said about my partner at the time.  Hmmmm.  Has anyone ever found a perfect way to clue the guy in and would you do it?  Note that X and Dixie have been together for years now and he has already built her a nice house etc etc 

[Jack Peterson]

Has anyone ever found a perfect way to clue the guy in and would you do it?

 

 

In a Word No to Both, I tried this only once in my life and I ended up the B.... d in it all. If X is that not very Bright, then what can anyone do.

 

he may never believe it and you end up as the Gossip. For  me Dave, best left alone. On the other hand, could X be at it as well in the US.

 

Status Quo so to Speak, It is after all your Girl Friends, Friend. What does she think to it all?

[RBM]

Has anyone ever found a perfect way to clue the guy in and would you do it?

 

 

In a Word No to Both, I tried this only once in my life and I ended up the B.... d in it all. If X is that not very Bright, then what can anyone do.

 

he may never believe it and you end up as the Gossip. For  me Dave, best left alone. On the other hand, could X be at it as well in the US.

 

Status Quo so to Speak, It is after all your Girl Friends, Friend. What does she think to it all?

Yes agree, most of us have been in similar situations.

It's just the shoot the mess anger syndrome.......much worse if a close friend is involved. For what ever reason they are blind until the end.

Leave well enough alone Dave.

[Methersgate]

Very difficult.

 

He may be happy as he is.

 

"Hints" don't work.

 

On the other hand, the person who should be told is  your partner's ate.  She can be told that she is the subject of gossip and pretty soon it will inevitably reach the ears of "X".
 

The best people to tell her are her parents.

 

[brock]

If the guy was a friend then I would tell him, If not then I would keep out of it,

[Americano]

I believe men who have a girlfriend or wife who is cheating on them prefers to find it out themselves.  If a male friend tells him about her cheating he will be mad at his friend too.

 

My wife and I have a friend who works most of the year in Scotland. He comes to the Philippines a few times a year on vacation to be with his girlfriend and their young son.  Last month my wife accidentally saw his girlfriend in some pictures on Facebook with a man that didn't appear to be a relative.  They looked more like boyfriend and girlfriend to both of us so I was thinking should I ask our friend if he knows this other man?  Well, I chose not to ask him which was the correct answer. I know it was the correct answer in this situation because he unexpectedly came to our home yesterday and told us about his girlfriend having two other boyfriends and he rented an apartment for her in another town. When I told him what we saw on Facebook and I was thinking about telling him he said I did the right thing and showed respect to his girlfriend by not telling him. I don't believe a cheating b...h deserves any respect but I guess he still loves her.

 

Our friend discovered that his girlfriend has two other boyfriends when he saw one of their close neighbors on Facebook and the picture of his girlfriend's boyfriend.  He pretended that he knew his girlfriend has another boyfriend when he asked the neighbor is that her boyfriend?  She admitted yes that's her boyfriend and I'm sorry I didn't already tell you. Next he asked his gf if she has a bf and of course she denied it for a while but finally gave in and told the truth. Then he asked her if he ever came to their home and she lied again when she said he only came there one time.  Another neighbor who is a Filipino man told him in person that her bf comes there all the time.

 

For foreigners who think you can have a faithful gf in the Philippines while you are working in another country all I got to say is good luck with that. The percentage of gf's and even wives who will remain faithful when you are gone is very small.  Most of them think you are cheating so there's nothing wrong with them cheating too.  Its the Filipino way.

Edited October 9, 2014 by Americano

[Methersgate]

They are encouraged by their friends to be unfaithful, with silly expressions such as, "Well, if you really love him, follow your heart," and suchlike.

 

And a Filipina with an absentee foreign boyfriend or husband is a target rich zone for the local layabouts, because she has money, and, being a Filipina, she will buy them stuff with that money.

 

An absentee Filipino would almost certainly not be faithful, and that is the standard of comparison.

 

We should remember that in a face driven culture, "owning up" to something is incredibly difficult for people to do.

Edited October 9, 2014 by Methersgate

[davewe]

I was in sort of this situation (actually much more convoluted and funny) and was a bit pissed that no one told me. Of course it wasn't a situation where I had male friends who knew what was going on. I had befriended many of her friends. Eventually I found out on my own and I pried one of her friends with the sordid details.

 

Since I knew all the gory details it was kind of fun to confront the gf, since she thought she would continue to BS me and actually wanted to continue to meet.

[Hey Steve]

There will come a time now that she has a secret child when this will all come to fruition and that time will be (as the song goes) "The Night they Drove Old Dixie Down". I agree totally to stay out of it and had a thought that parallel to this topic I'm sure some Filipinas discuss some men's "extended business trips". Being seperate from your partner under a somewhat permanent arrangement simply does not work for all parties involved.

[cebu rocks]

gossip and rumors can be very hurtful  . I was part of another forum and was attacked for expressing my views . This included members I know telling outright lies about me but hiding behind a fake account and taking pot shots at me . In the end the truth came out but not before I was dragged through the mud and the other person was untouched because they used a alias .  In the end I did find out who the Alias was and one day we will meet again as the RP is a very small place  .

How did this affect me well I dropped off all forums using my real name and offering help in person or meeting other members . There are a few who know who I am and I hope they can keep it quiet