Help

[komments]

I thought each of the conversations ended in a friendly manner.  What the heck did I do wrong - 

 

Mr "K" have a look at the rules for this site look into 'usage' and there I feel you will find what you may have done wrong. You admitted you were married and this particular site is against Adultery. i know  what you are trying to do would not in your mind be Adultery but....... 

 

 

http://www.dateinasia.com/Terms.aspx

 

Hope this helps clear things up for you.

 

JP :tiphat:

 

I did look at the terms and I was up front about the fact that I was married and was not looking for a date or a relationship, just friendship and networking.  None of which is against their Terms.  But it's all cool.  I have joined the FB Group that Steve recommended and it looks promising.

Edited November 10, 2014 by komments

[usa32]

DIA, canceled my account, for apparently no reason either.

 

Be prepared to change IP addresses, or access the account another way. Because if you create another account, they will block your IP

 

Its a decent free site, but whoever administering it, seems to like to cancel accounts just for the heck of it.

[MikeB]

Be prepared to change IP addresses, or access the account another way. Because if you create another account, they will block your IP

Unless you are paying for a static IP address there is no way they can block it. Every time you reboot your modem you get a new one, often an entirely different range.

[davewe]

I suppose I would ask the question - what sort of information are you looking for? You are already on a well established site for expats where most questions can get answered - or at least argued about.

 

If you are looking to meet Pinays they are going to assume understandably that you are looking for more than just cultural information. Remember, there are no doubt lots of married guys on those dating site, either looking to visit the Philippines for some action, or just to salve their bruised egos by chatting with cute Pinays.

 

I agree that there are a number of groups on FB (easy to search for). Some are expat oriented, some tourist oriented, and several are Fil-Am relationship oriented. Those might be places you can ask questions and generate input.

 

But I would repeat that anyplace where you start to individually chat with Pinays online - they will assume you are looking for more that just cultural info.

[Jack Peterson]

As we all read this topic I am sure we can all surmise and speculate what  it is all about. Of course anyone has their own Agenda for doing certain things but......... I really can't see where this is leading. ( Or can I?) i would like to think that the OP has sought some sort of Agreement with His wife (I wont say permission) I know that my wife would be more than Unhappy at such a thing. My Goodness, when I had DIA on Screen to find the rules I had one hell of a job explaining  it was in answer to this Topic.  

 

As someone has already said, there are umpteen ways of finding out about the "Fantasy Islands" all this way will do is lead the OP to  the "Fantasy Girls"  I have seen quite a few Marriages/Relationships break down over this sort of thing There is one thing for sure. One thing leads to another. NO! I hear someone say, well I hope not for many reasons on both sides of the Screen.

 

I had quite a chat to my Wife and daughter the other evening about this. Both put it in into easy words. Wrong, Bad, Immature even.

 

Using Forums such as this, is the way to go + Google has many answers as do Filipino Tourist Sites. and even having said that. When anyone gets here for the first time, it is all different anyway. Boots on the Ground will prove all in the End

 

I have no wish to say anything bad or derogatory about the issue but IMHO, it is not the right way to be doing Research

 

JP :tiphat:

[Thomas]

But I would repeat that anyplace where you start to individually chat with Pinays online - they will assume you are looking for more that just cultural info.

Perhaps at start, but if make it clear in startup messaging, many are interested in communicate with foreigners anyway.  E g exchanging of cultural differences, and if they look for a foreigner to marry or is married to one allready and try to solve "mysteries", they can be interested in learning how we think   :)  

Some even contact ME for legal advice about FILIPIN law!!!  After they saw I have much knowledge about A FEW laws, some believe I can the whole law book   :lol: 

I have a whole bunch of "My spies" who tell me about things from different parts of Phils, both cultural and useful for business research things. Them I have got to know different ways, some are/were interested in me as husband material, but like to communicate with me anyway after they know I'm not interested in them as wife/gf , some are friends of friiends of friends (all Filipins), and some I have no idea how they found me   :)   (I'm polite and answer everyone, who contact me. Some develop to good friends.)  

Btw - some I have given KNOWLEDGE for free of types I get pay for otherwice, but NO ONE of them have asked for money...  (Well. Some Filipinas have contacted me and asked for money/things, but they don't belong to "My spies"     :)

[komments]

First Jack, we don't know each other and your wife and daughter certainly don't know me.  I have posted a couple times in this forum looking for information to make my trip memorable for my wife.  I don't know how many times you have been married or if you were always faithful or not so I don't know where your post came from.  DIA was a free site that offered the option to state that I was taken - which I did.  I also made it clear that I was traveling with my wife.

 

I don't lie and I don't cheat on her.  We will be celebrating our 38th anniversary while we are in the Philippines.  I have researched on-line and found the standard Chocolate Hills and Tarsiers in Bohol but there is not much about Lapu Lapu or Mactan Island.  What I want is the hole in the wall non-touristy type places that locals always know about.  To me that is what makes a trip special - not the places on the internet that everyone knows about.

 

I have offered to meet with ex-pats because I am thinking about either transferring there to end my career or potentially retiring there.  Either option would include my wife or I wouldn't come.  I am not really interested in dating a 20-something girl who is about half the age of my daughters.  Might be for some people but not for me.  I actually love my wife.  She knows I am doing research and she knows it is on-line.  She doesn't know the specific sites (including this one). 

 

The most help I have gotten in this forum was from the gentleman who recommended the FIL-Am group on Facebook.  That has been very helpful though one lady offered to put Janie and I up in her home and show us around her island (Camiguin) but we probably won't take her up on the offer - still nice of her to do so).  There is also a lady that offered to show us around Tagbilaran.  In ALL of my communications I make sure folks understand this is a trip WITH my wife and that all I want to do is have a good time with HER.

 

But if you and your wife and daughter are in Cebu when we come in - feel free to contact me.  We can meet and you can get a better feel for who I am.

[komments]

 

I have no wish to say anything bad or derogatory about the issue but IMHO, it is not the right way to be doing Research

 

JP :tiphat:

 

Which is true - it clearly was not the best way to do research.  The FB Group has been much more productive.  Chatting with people from the area will always provide more info than with people who may or may not have even visited the area. 

 

But Jack - we all have to start somewhere.  I started by going to several blogs and reading what they posted.  I tried a couple forums that seemed to be full of people that had nothing good to say about the Philippines (ex-pat forums).  Then I found this one.  And I did post questions here - that got little response.  So I found DIA which offered free chat.  That helped a little until the info until the account got closed.  Then Hey Steve posted a Fil-Am group on Facebook (which I never would have found because I was searching for Philippines and not Filipino - silly me).  Thanks Steve.  I am sure there are several more and I AM a computer specialist.  But I don't often spend hours on-line for anything but Fantasy Football.  So knowing where to look is more important than anything.

 

Whether you meant it to be derogatory or not - that is certainly the way it came across to me.  It impugned my character and for someone that has never met a person to do that - seems a bit wrong to me.  But I usually attribute good motives to people - I am not very cynical at all.

 

No harm though - as I said earlier - I would love to meet you, your wife and daughter and introduce them to my wife while I am in-country.

 

[Jack Peterson]

Whether you meant it to be derogatory or not - that is certainly the way it came across to me.  It impugned my character and for someone that has never met a person to do that - seems a bit wrong to me.  But I usually attribute good motives to people - I am not very cynical at all.   No harm though - as I said earlier - I would love to meet you, your wife and daughter and introduce them to my wife while I am in-country.

 

 

That my friend is very Unfortunate,( As I am sure you know, it was not meant to be taken that way at all) the one thing that you can never learn from the Internet is how freaking Thick Skinned you have to be to live here. Cheap and wonderful in many respects but......... day to day frustration can be so mind boggling. This is something that NO! Filipino will have any comprehension about until.. you are here living under the same roof. 

 

Maybe the topic has run it's course now you have found the Area you wish to Work in for your research.

 

Your title was Help! I believe help, is what you got. Of course you got things added you maybe did not want to hear, this is the learning curve. Yes you have to start somewhere, As the topic grew it was inevitable you would get answers based on my, others, sometimes Bad experiences. That's life.  

 

Having said this the main thing is that you can recognize that you maybe did, take the wrong turn somewhere.  I am sure that no one here really wishes to Put our Wives, Families or Friends or indeed, the population of the PI Down but one of their main Problems is not meeting things head on. We in the west have to or we have no progression.

 

instead of talking and discussing issues they will get on the defensive, never really answering the Question you have asked . This you will quickly learn when you are here. 

 

no "K" we have not met  YET! and the first beer will be on me but I and many here have met others in the same boat as you.

 

in the Military as you will know (if you Served) Officers always took on board what their NCO"s said in reply to a Question. They had the time Service and knew the Rule book inside out, look at it that way, We are here and have seen many pitfalls from the Uninitiated

 

If you take things too personally then  you really should get some Skin Thickening cream  :)  As we have always said "We are here to help" if things are said that have nothing at all, that sounds a little derogatory  then we have failed. Most here have put away the rose coloured Glasses and we are just trying to help! you find you way without the mishaps a lot of us had

 

To bring this to it's natural conclusion, I personally Feel we have helped you to Understand your Original Request.

 

Whatever happened in between was inevitable as we are all human and just wanted to point out why, we thought you may have been wrong in choosing the way you went.

 

To me that's a great bunch of Friends you have here.

 

 

JP :tiphat:

[frosty (chris)]

 Lapu Lapu or Mactan Island.  What I want is the hole in the wall non-touristy type places that locals always know about.  To me that is what makes a trip special - not the places on the internet that everyone knows about.

 

 

Hi K, I have done a couple of posts on the delights of Mactan, do a search and maybe you can find them, to be honest there is not a great deal to see here, Mactan Shrine, some great seafood restaurants there, Olango Island, beautiful place 20 minutes by ferry from Mactan, Lantaw Restaurant, world class.The  beaches here, to me only so-so, wouldn't waste my time. I think maybe 2 days here and that would be your limit, lots of better places imho to visit. Having said that I like living here on Mactan, just suits me.