Do Filipinas Ever Move Slowly Before Getting Into A Relationship?

[Methersgate]

Well Jack, I did ask her nicely, back in 2012, complete with romantic setting, diamond ring, champagne, etc. She replied, "What do you expect, you idiot!"   :mocking: 

 

When I last asked her, about a month ago, to actually set a date, she said "2017!". After negotiation, we got this down to:

 

The Mariners' Club. Hong Kong. September 26th 2015. :cheersty: 

 

I have consulted the Padre, Stephen Miller, and he is happy to do the deed, so it looks like we may be "all systems go!"

 

How long did it take me to fall in love? I met her one evening in Manila, flew back to London the next day, stepped off the plane at Heathrow and phoned her...  

 

   

 

(Oh, and for the speed at which SOME Filipinas jump in,  cross refer to this thead...

 http://www.philippines-expats.com/topic/20335-form-an-orderly-queue-please/)

Edited February 13, 2015 by Methersgate

[davewe]

To go back to the OP's question - well, I have no definitive answer. I will say that the 1st time I visited the Philippines my now wife would not meet me. I told her I would be meeting a few girls and she had no interest in my "collect and select" strategy. We remained online friends while I began a relationship with one of the girls I did meet.

 

A year later when that relationship ended I knew who I really wanted to be with. We met in Cebu City, a couple days later visited her family and by then I was hooked. So it took a year but once we met, she moved quickly (as did I).

[tango_99]

I met my wife in 2011 and we did not marry until 2014.  I guess some Filipina's like to take it slow but I can' speak for all of them.  We met and dated in China while she was working there.  I did not get around to meeting her family until March of 2014 after she returned home, once the family introductions were made the marriage came pretty quick.

[RonHenk]

When I asked my Asawa to marry me, her reply was "I don't know. Maybe. We'll see" just as casual as you please. We got married about 2 Months later. I still don't let her forget that one. ( She denies ever having said it ) Its an ongoing joke between us.

[Jack Peterson]

( She denies ever having said it )

 

 

What! Surely Not Ron, these are every day Words (Phrases) they Use. "Maybe"  "Later only"  "in a "while"  fact is they use them so often through the day I am convinced they do not realize they are saying them.

 

JP :tiphat:

[UnCheckedOther]

Back when I was 14 and went out on my first date, my Cebuana mom was horrified and wondering why I was "in such a rush to find a husband," much to the amusement of my American dad. When I explained to her that it was just a dinner and a movie with our group of friends, my mom told me that in the Philippines that was still a big deal. She said that in the Philippines there's this thing called pangulitaw/panliligaw (courtship) wherein the dude has to woo the girl. If the girl likes him back, then there's an MU/mutual understanding. After that is going steady. So what is a getting to know stage (dinner and movies) for us Americans or Westerners is essentially a "steady bf/gf" thing to do. The Pinoy version of getting to know each other is through the courtship stage.

I'm technically a halfie, so one could argue that my upbringing in the US has something to do with it, but I am definitely in the camp of a Pinay chick not wanting to rush into marriage. I will get married when I feel ready, not because there are certain tick marks I have to cross off at certain ages/milestones. There shouldn't be a timeline. I will get married because the man I'm with is someone with whom I want to spend my life, not because it is my duty to get married or because other people will talk.A wedding is simply a legal or religious celebration; you don't need a ring or a name change to have that commitment. I also think that for the most part, the modern and empowered (well-educated, well-travelled, and those with higher profile/prestige careers) Pinay are less likely to rush into marriage because they realize that they have more options. They know they can buy what they want and they know they are complete and fulfilled despite the Pinoy culture's emphasis on marriage and motherhood being as the apex of a Pinay's identity.

[Jack Peterson]

I'm technically a halfie, so one could argue that my upbringing in the US has something to do with it, but I am definitely in the camp of a Pinay chick not wanting to rush into marriage.

 

 

 Bravo Young Lady, I admire you thoughts and commitment to them But and there is always a but. After reading your post 2 or 3 times and having had my Wife's and my Teenage daughters thought relayed to me, I would ask you this.

 

Would you think any differently if the other halfie side of the coin was in Play and you lived here full time with the Pinay Peer pressure on you?

[UnCheckedOther]

Jack, yes, I would still feel the same way even if I lived in the Philippines. No matter what country or culture I'm surrounded with, I've always tried to live my life according to how I see fit. I suppose I'm not easily as influenced or affected by how society or other people think I should be simply because I'm more logical than emotional (as how I've observed a lot of Pinoys to be ie onion-skinned). I'd rather be an imperfect Leilani rather than a robotic standard or ideal of someone else. Culture and the environment we live in are very important, for sure. They are the ingredients to the clay, but there's also much to be said about the fact that people have the power to choose how to mold themselves using that clay.

For example, I grew up with both sides of my family hating the Japanese because of WW2. My lola saw her dad being bayoneted by a Japanese soldier in Samar and quite a few relatives on my dad's side of the family died in Pearl Harbour. There was an inheritance of anger passed down through the generations; my lola threatened to disown any of her kids and grandkids if we ever had a Japanese friend or boyfriend/girlfriend. But eh. That anger shizz is too heavy and the son should never be persecuted for the sins of his father. Needless to say, I have a lot of Japanese friends and dated a half-Japanese dude whose grandfather was sent to a concentration camp.

A person is a part of his or her culture. A person is a part of a collective. However, a person is their own self, first and foremost.

Jack, thanks for your questions and observations. You remind me of a professor I had at uni who taught us not just to think critically, but meaningfully as well. You weren't a Philosophy or Anthropology professor, were you?

[Jack Peterson]

Jack, thanks for your questions and observations. You remind me of a professor I had at uni who taught us not just to think critically, but meaningfully as well. You weren't a Philosophy or Anthropology professor, were you?

 

 

:) Lol No 'UCO' just like so many here, Ex- Military thinking on our Feet, having asked the Improbable?, to do the Impossible and Observing those that would harm us. Some we Won, some we Lost, but having asked  seemingly obscure Questions at times we minimized a lot of problems.

 

Good Luck to you, My daughter will be reading your Words  :thumbsup:

 

JP :tiphat:

[Hey Steve]

That's pretty much how you would describe my wife..non committed till 40 despite prompts from her family to get married. When she was 40 and met me, I guess she figured there was no potential "headaches" as she puts it and she grew up and was raised in both big city and province life. Now everyone is asking about children??? I guess she could be called a non-conformist.