Do Filipinas Ever Move Slowly Before Getting Into A Relationship?

[jon1]

Congrats Bob! Forget the age difference thing. Just focus on her heart and mind. If that is what clicks, then you got a winner. I like that you are embracing the culture. Just don't lose yourself and you will be more than fine. I have found that my wife likes the fact that I make a decision and go with it and adjust on the fly if going in the wrong direction. Now is the time to be working on things like goals (you have already stated quite a few), roles and responsibilities. This way you won't be blogging about money and family matters next year. That was one of the smartest things that I did with my wife (setting goals and expectations). The culture and language barriers are hard enough without the same goals.

[Jack Peterson]

my wife likes the fact that I make a decision and go with it and adjust on the fly if going in the wrong direction.

 

 

 For years and Years, my wife was told what to do and when to do it by Elder siblings and Parents etc. What she enjoys now is the sharing of Ideas, the joint decisions we make and yet, allowing our 15 year old daughter to grow in her own culture with that added spice of Western Influence. Giving your Lady a piece of Meaning will bring out the best in her and not as so many foreigners do, try to keep them where they seem to have always been. subservient. To me it is all about Respect for your or any Lady. There are many things said on Forums and even on this Topic that I do not agree with, Generalization and Pigeon holing the fair sex of the Philippines is so wrong in many cases.

 

There are loose ladies all over the World, but sometimes after reading many Topics on a lot of Forums one would think they all come from ASIA, Not so. I doubt that there will ever be a true Survey done ( And no doubt not believed if done ) on the thoughts of a Pinay but if there was, I can almost guarantee it would show that the Filipino Lady, is a lot more Conservative than an awful lot of people realize.

So many times I hear as well all do about Rushed marriages and Relationships but there are those( the foreigner mainly I believe) that say OH! lets do it now, Then when it goes wrong they blame the Little Lady who in my estimation, would have sooner waited a while but of course, they may loose their man because HE will move on if they say NO.

 

So who is doing the Rushing?

 

JP :tiphat:

[jon1]

What she enjoys now is the sharing of Ideas, the joint decisions we make and yet, allowing our 15 year old daughter to grow in her own culture with that added spice of Western Influence. Giving your Lady a piece of Meaning will bring out the best in her and not as so many foreigners do, try to keep them where they seem to have always been. subservient. To me it is all about Respect for your or any Lady. There are many things said on Forums and even on this Topic that I do not agree with, Generalization and Pigeon holing the fair sex of the Philippines is so wrong in many cases.

 

Those are two huge things in a relationship. I was not implying that my relationship is a one way street. We make joint decisions but a lot of times the wife wants me to make decisions for her as she doesn't want to be bothered with it or it is my responsibility. I think that you will find a lot of people who have relationship problems are due to greed, poor life skills, jealousy or immaturity (either sex). 

[Jack Peterson]

but a lot of times the wife wants me to make decisions for her as she doesn't want to be bothered with it or it is my responsibility.

 

 

 In one Jon, as Husbands and it seems more prevalent here the Breadwinner, Our ladies will take this stance. All too many times I see that  (The foreigner) just do not take in account the thoughts, needs or wants of our ladies. By this I mean that many never include the ladies in any decision then have the Audacity to call them Stupid, thick or whatever comes into their minds at the time. It is no wonder so many Relationships hit skid row.

As the Topic is about Filipinas taking their time, moving slowly before a Relationship, I think, NO! I know they would, given the Time

 

Really getting to know the other side of the coin is so important. My Granny used to sayis B "Whoa boy! the only thing you get from Rushing, is  Babies and/or Indigestion" Had I have Listened I would have no need to get Divorced all those years ago. and maybe not had the Stroke through bad eating habits.  

 

 

JP :tiphat:

[Methersgate]

All too many times I see that  (The foreigner) just do not take in account the thoughts, needs or wants of our ladies.

 

I must plead Guilty, to doing that in the later years of my first marriage. I did not listen carefully enough.

And K, my present fiancee caught me doing it - her sister had asked me for a loan, I said I would ask K, which was an idiotic thing to say, as K pointed out about a year later when everything had gone pear shaped, as of course K could not say anything but "yes" when I had already told her manang that I would ask her. Well, that was 20,000 pesos written off to experience!

Filipinas often say things indirectly, and rather hesitantly, and it is horribly easy for a westerner to mis-understand how important something may be.