Have I Just Been Foolish?

[Methersgate]

K's eldest brother runs the family farm, he is a nice chap, very quiet, and I have no issues with him, but I tend to talk more to his wife, whose English is fluent, and to their very bright nine year old daughter, who got the collected works or Roald Dahl from me for Christmas.

They shot off to Ozamiz for a couple of days and it turned out that they were in the ER at the local public hospital, as he has a hydrocele. K said "Tatay's balls are swollen" but I forgot that the family nickname for him is "Tatay" and thought she was speaking of her father. Having straightened that out I noticed that K was saying she ought to call and see how he was, but she did not seem to be in a rush to do so, so I asked "Tatay'"s wife how he was, and was told "OK".

I then Googled "hydrocele" and sent her the links I found, including the UK NHS Direct one as it was far better than the Wiki page. I asked if he needed an operation, and was told yes, and they had booked one for September 16th - waiting list for public hospital over six months.. So I asked if she had checked the cost for private treatment (it's normally an "out patient" operation) and was told P 25K. I was NOT asked to help.

I talked to K and she was feeling guilty, because she had had that much money, but had spent it on building materials for repairs to her parents house - a project that she and Tatay are undertaking between them - just before Tatay was ill, and now she could not help.

So I stepped into the breach and sent her the money. 

Have I just opened the flood gates? Am I about to be submerged in demands for cash? Or have I done the right thing?

Edited March 4, 2015 by Methersgate

[Lou49]

My experience : once you open the door the line up starts and everyone wants a piece of the pie. You become the go to guy. I hope that your experience will be different than mine. 

[stevewool]

Think on it this way, are you happy with what you have done, IF SO, you did the right thing, IF YOU ARE NOT, remember to say nothing next time

To me you did the right thing well done

[sjp52]

Been there. My first contribution was a size able one. Much needed. After that every one who could help financially did in the family. So I don,t regret it. Lets face it when it comes to emergencies we should help if we can. You would feel terrible if some one died and you could have but didn,t help and maybe saved a life.

 

I have met a friend through the family and his son died in the hospital. The grieve that man felt loosing his son is terrible but than financially he was getting wipe out because of the hospital bills, So I helped him out. He was so grateful. Later he introduced me to a old friend of his who is a lawyer and he said to me he would help me out with any legal issues free of charge any time in the future.

 

If I was in the hospital and did not have the money to pay for a life saving operation I would hope that some caring person either family or friend would help me out.

[bows00]

yeah, that's a tough predicament. And I agree it's not about the $25,000P ($570US), because I am sure you can afford that. If I were in your shoes, I would have paid too. Now if it were $250,000P... don't know..

[i am bob]

A couple things to look at really... This is the "Mrs family"... Do you like them and they like you? Are they expecting you to she'll out money ask the time? Do they blah blah blah...

Seriously, this is a known health issue that can seriously affect somebody for the rest of their life... Could you live with yourself if you had not helped? It's easier to say No to a few than to forgive yourself after saying No to everyone...

In my opinion? You done good!

[Methersgate]

I do like the family - actually I like most of them a lot!

I am not good at picking up smoke signals over a bad phone line. I should have realised that the reason K had not been to see her brother - whom she likes, although there is a bit of competitive parenting going on - was that she could not afford to help.

 But I cannot afford to do this on a "regular basis".

I am worried that I may have done one of the things that one should NEVER do - raise expectations that one cannot always fulfil.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Methersgate

[jpbago]

Get them on an insurance plan, either Philhealth or Blue Cross.

[Methersgate]

Get them on an insurance plan, either Philhealth or Blue Cross.

 

They have Philhealth. But the co-pay is large.

[mogo51]

K's eldest brother runs the family farm, he is a nice chap, very quiet, and I have no issues with him, but I tend to talk more to his wife, whose English is fluent, and to their very bright nine year old daughter, who got the collected works or Roald Dahl from me for Christmas.

They shot off to Ozamiz for a couple of days and it turned out that they were in the ER at the local public hospital, as he has a hydrocele. K said "Tatay's balls are swollen" but I forgot that the family nickname for him is "Tatay" and thought she was speaking of her father. Having straightened that out I noticed that K was saying she ought to call and see how he was, but she did not seem to be in a rush to do so, so I asked "Tatay'"s wife how he was, and was told "OK".

I then Googled "hydrocele" and sent her the links I found, including the UK NHS Direct one as it was far better than the Wiki page. I asked if he needed an operation, and was told yes, and they had booked one for September 16th - waiting list for public hospital over six months.. So I asked if she had checked the cost for private treatment (it's normally an "out patient" operation) and was told P 25K. I was NOT asked to help.

I talked to K and she was feeling guilty, because she had had that much money, but had spent it on building materials for repairs to her parents house - a project that she and Tatay are undertaking between them - just before Tatay was ill, and now she could not help.

So I stepped into the breach and sent her the money. 

Have I just opened the flood gates? Am I about to be submerged in demands for cash? Or have I done the right thing?

 

 

I ont kno w what hydrocele is but will look it up.  This is a personal choice IMO and only you (and your wife) can make the call.   Obviously you believe he was worth sending the money and that is all that counts.  I hope he has a good result in hospital.

From reading many of your previous posts, you 'feel the water' before swimming and I am sure your extended family would realise that.