Talking Together With Your Partner

[Thomas]

 

 

If the locals speak English and get it wrong it is in my opinion only right to correct them or they will continue with sub-standard English. If we were learning a local language and they did not correct us would you be happy with that?

It depends.

Yes, IF the goal is talking PERFECT English of business reason - BUT in most cases that's NOT important.  (I have done businesses with Englishmen, Irish and Americans with me TERRIBLE pronounsiation  :lol:   but seldom problem with understanding.)

Yes, one/FEW times, IF it's some basic error.

Yes, IF it's IMPORTANT for UNDERSTANDING.

 

ALL other times - Noooooo. That's only annoying and WASTE of time...  :)

 

Yes it shows

So what?   As long as it's understandable, it's still NOT IMPORTANT. Ask the high bosses  :mocking: 

[sonjack2847]

 

 

 

If the locals speak English and get it wrong it is in my opinion only right to correct them or they will continue with sub-standard English. If we were learning a local language and they did not correct us would you be happy with that?

It depends.

Yes, IF the goal is talking PERFECT English of business reason - BUT in most cases that's NOT important.  (I have done businesses with Englishmen, Irish and Americans with me TERRIBLE pronounsiation  :lol:   but seldom problem with understanding.)

Yes, one/FEW times, IF it's some basic error.

Yes, IF it's IMPORTANT for UNDERSTANDING.

 

ALL other times - Noooooo. That's only annoying and WASTE of time...  :)

 

Yes it shows

So what?   As long as it's understandable, it's still NOT IMPORTANT. Ask the high bosses  :mocking:

 

Yer cassan bacun wer yer cassan gatun cus

Edited April 12, 2015 by sonjack2847

[Jack Peterson]

Yer cassan bacun wer yer cassan gatun cus

[Petey]

I share pretty much everything with my wife, she knows most of my history as things do come up to bite you on the ass. So best to lay things out on the table and over a period of time and chew the fat so to speek.

 

My family family ( British side ) comprises of 1 person. Her side - god knows how many.

 

I agree with the poster about "jumping on the band waggon should she speek ill of her family". I will certainly land in a few boots. Generally I'm not included in Filipino Family discussions, and if i am its usually something that i have to sort out because things have gone too far.

 

The usually stories i get are "they want money" or "there mad at you because someone has said something bad against you" or "somebody has been battered - go get them". Other than that I'm in the dark on their family matters.

 

Now it comes down to - should i care?  Obviously they are the family of my wife and i care for her feelings and would do anything i can to protect her feelings. That said. She is the daughter and sister of her family, and they don't take into account the same feelings that i am trying to protect.  This is why i find it conflicting in helping them because they don't show my wife the same respect - its all about money over feelings.  Do i care for her family? Nope. I just show them the hospitality that they shown me in the 3yrs of being here. I can be as plastic as them when i want to be.

[Jack Peterson]

Generally I'm not included in Filipino Family discussions,

 

 Oh but you are! you just don't know about it until...... :)

 

 

 

Other than that I'm in the dark on their family matters.

 

 

Then, when the cost of things comes out and who needs what, on comes the light. and you are in the Spotlight

 

Sorry petey but I have to be comical about these things as we are all in the same boat at one time or another.  many of us have very very good relationships with our ladies and the Immediate Family but as you have identified, the plastics can seep out of the woodwork all the time at anytime.

 

Having said this I also know that we and I think you also, would never let things get too far out of hand and this can be a saving grace for any foreigner but when certain extended family members start to use that as an Emotional Blackmail route, My Foot comes down with a very sharp Thump.

 

JP :tiphat:  :morning1:

[Petey]

I appreciate the comical approach to this :thumbsup: 

 

Emotional Blackmail : Yeah. This is the worst and there are no limitations on what people and say or do... as long as we can dig deep.

[Thomas]

The usually stories i get are "they want money" or "there mad at you because someone has said something bad against you" or "somebody has been battered - go get them". Other than that I'm in the dark on their family matters. Now it comes down to - should i care? Obviously they are the family of my wife and i care for her feelings and would do anything i can to protect her feelings.

Concerning myself I just don't bother what idiots thinks, but it's a problem when wife or kids get sad  :unsure:

To reduce pressure at my future wife (?) I have told her, when she talk to her family, when it's something she want to tell them, but find hard, then it's OK she blame me  :lol:

Concerning being in the dark, I will BEFORE marriage tell them my boundries, and if that's not good enough, then they better not marry me  :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

If the locals speak English and get it wrong it is in my opinion only right to correct them or they will continue with sub-standard English. If we were learning a local language and they did not correct us would you be happy with that?

ALL other times - Noooooo. That's only annoying and WASTE of time...  :)

Yes it shows

So what?   As long as it's understandable, it's still NOT IMPORTANT. Ask the high bosses  :mocking:

Yer cassan bacun wer yer cassan gatun cus

That's an example of many men are bad at communication :mocking:    which is talked about in an other topic.

[jon1]

I will BEFORE marriage tell them my boundries, and if that's not good enough, then they better not marry me

 

This is KEY to your relationship. Without establishing in the beginning, expectations and limitations, you, her or both of you will become frustrated and things will be very hard.

[sonjack2847]

 

The usually stories i get are "they want money" or "there mad at you because someone has said something bad against you" or "somebody has been battered - go get them". Other than that I'm in the dark on their family matters. Now it comes down to - should i care? Obviously they are the family of my wife and i care for her feelings and would do anything i can to protect her feelings.

Concerning myself I just don't bother what idiots thinks, but it's a problem when wife or kids get sad  :unsure:

To reduce pressure at my future wife (?) I have told her, when she talk to her family, when it's something she want to tell them, but find hard, then it's OK she blame me  :lol:

Concerning being in the dark, I will BEFORE marriage tell them my boundries, and if that's not good enough, then they better not marry me  :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

If the locals speak English and get it wrong it is in my opinion only right to correct them or they will continue with sub-standard English. If we were learning a local language and they did not correct us would you be happy with that?

ALL other times - Noooooo. That's only annoying and WASTE of time...  :)

Yes it shows

So what?   As long as it's understandable, it's still NOT IMPORTANT. Ask the high bosses  :mocking:

Yer cassan bacun wer yer cassan gatun cus

That's an example of many men are bad at communication :mocking:    which is talked about in an other topic.

 

That is a local form of English which only people from my UK town will understand it is not bad communication. I am just making the point that English or any other language should be learned in it`s correct form.

[Thomas]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the locals speak English and get it wrong it is in my opinion only right to correct them or they will continue with sub-standard English. If we were learning a local language and they did not correct us would you be happy with that?

ALL other times - Noooooo. That's only annoying and WASTE of time... 

Yes it shows

So what?   As long as it's understandable, it's still NOT IMPORTANT. Ask the high bosses 

Yer cassan bacun wer yer cassan gatun cus

That's an example of many men are bad at communication :mocking:    which is talked about in an other topic.

 

That is a local form of English which only people from my UK town will understand it is not bad communication. I am just making the point that English or any other language should be learned in it`s correct form.

And I claim that's a BAD point  :mocking:   in most cases, when it isn't the first language, because in most cases it ISN'T IMPORTANT, which I have PROVEN by I have done rather much business with my BAD pronounsiation :lol:     with several, who have English as first language too...

The UNDERSTANDING is the important.

(I have even made business with people from Poland, who knew no English at all. We had an interpreter, but he tried to keep their speed in drinking, so he started talking Swedish to them and Polish to me soon  :hystery: then he feel asleep suddenly droping his head hard at the table. We reached a startup business AGREEMENT anyway by using the few German words they knew, showing some samples, body language plus writing numbers on a paper...)