Supporting Filipino Family Financially....... An Expectation Or Obligation? What To Do To Avoid Problems.

[sonjack2847]

We help out my wife`s family when we can and they bring us fresh veg from the mountain. What I don`t like is when they bring our daughter junk food and she will eat all of it and not her proper meal killing her with kindness as such.

[Larry45]

I'm one of those that doesn't help the wife's family, and if that makes me a jerk in anyone's eyes, so be it.  The in-laws managed to build themselves a nice house and put their two kids through college before I was in the picture, so they obviously can take care of themselves.  Wife still helps them out and I would be there if they had a BIG emergency, but my purpose here is not to be their retirement plan and I wasn't interested in a relationship based on anything but love and respect.  But that's just me and my marriage....other types of relationships may require a sizable financial investment. ;)

[mogo51]

They can expect all they like in my case but will get no support from me. My obligations start and finish with my partner.

Didn't you tell in an other topic you are moving to Phils?   If so you can be FORCED to contribute   :)      The law say the family member with resourses HAVE TO support family member in need,

if they are retired,

or if they are younger AND have done their best to solve their problem.

 

Lucky for me I'm older than my future (?) parents in law, so they will have some harder to demand support because of their age, when I'm still working myself   :mocking:       

 

BUT I will do some Help-to-self-help for the family anyway IF I don't find them greedy 

E g finance a STARTUP of a few piglets breeding. And TELL them it's Help-to-self-help.

OR if I find I need to TEST them, then I make harvest/breed sharing with them, with some better deal for them than normal, but the invested money is MINE. If they behave good, I plan to give my share of the profit to the grandmothers, who are still alive, so the poor family don't need to support them. But one of the husbands is OFW, so I want to check how much he earn compare to me, so it's fair. 

 

1. What you give or pay out in your first 3-4 months here is not an accurate measure of what you will give over the long term.

Do you mean less or more later?

I claim DON'T spoil them in the beginning as many do.

That may or may not be the law, but as we will not be married as she is previously married and no annulment.

I would have no legal obligation - whether I did or not, I will not comply, I would rather leave the country.

How would they afford to finance a court action, get a dose of reality, such things will NOT happen.

Chris, read your post but just do not agree. If I own the money, I can decide how I spend it. If you

want to go up that road, fine, but I will never go there. You have enough mountains to climb over my friend.

[i am bob]

I'm not married... Yet! Soon though... My Special Someone is the youngest in the family. As her father passed away when she was a young child, her mother (with help from her oldest brother) looked after her daily needs... Mom, even though in her later 60s, paid for Av to go to university for the first 2 years... When she could no longer work, I took over... Hey! It want much! Now that we are soon to be married, I have let Av know that, not only will I support her mom in her final years but that I hope for her to move in with us! A couple months after the wedding, that is! Hehe! As for the rest of the family? Their not rich but their not poor either... Nobody had asked me for anything other than to be good to Av... That is one family request I will always honor!!!

:D

[chris49]

I'm not married... Yet! Soon though... My Special Someone is the youngest in the family. As her father passed away when she was a young child, her mother (with help from her oldest brother) looked after her daily needs... Mom, even though in her later 60s, paid for Av to go to university for the first 2 years... When she could no longer work, I took over... Hey! It want much! Now that we are soon to be married, I have let Av know that, not only will I support her mom in her final years but that I hope for her to move in with us! A couple months after the wedding, that is! Hehe! As for the rest of the family? Their not rich but their not poor either... Nobody had asked me for anything other than to be good to Av... That is one family request I will always honor!!!

:D

 

That would sum up my attitude. They helped me, I help them also. With limits.

 

I think that's not in cash, more in support and help with the daily needs. Try to ensure no one else jumps on for the free ride,

[Thomas]

That may or may not be the law, but as we will not be married as she is previously married and no annulment.

It's the law.  I have read it. It's some unclear concerning up to which living standard the support have to be.

 

The red market make you better know of an OTHER law. In Phils it's a crime to have a relation with a married woman even if she is long timed separated. But mostly the justice system don't bother about that law, otherwize they would need to change one of the BIG islands to a prison to get space for all :mocking:      BUT it make you vulnerable for anyone telling the police, if someone want to get rid of you  :bash:

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I would not sweat the Family Code.  If they have no money they cannot afford a lawyer to go after you.  

 

But I am in a good situation family wise.  Her mom is dead, her father abandoned the family long before mom died (and has a whole new family).   All the sisters and sister-in-laws are OFW so they certainly don't get anything.

 

If dad shows up asking for money I would tell him to ?????? off... and so would my wife  :tiphat:

[chris49]

 

That may or may not be the law, but as we will not be married as she is previously married and no annulment.

It's the law.  I have read it. It's some unclear concerning up to which living standard the support have to be.

 

The red market make you better know of an OTHER law. In Phils it's a crime to have a relation with a married woman even if she is long timed separated. But mostly the justice system don't bother about that law, otherwize they would need to change one of the BIG islands to a prison to get space for all :mocking:      BUT it make you vulnerable for anyone telling the police, if someone want to get rid of you  :bash:

 

 

BULLsh&t. Police won't act on that, there was one case on TV Doc, and even that was largely fabricated.

Edited April 29, 2015 by chris49

[Old55]

OK, I think we are finished with this topic. We don't all agree but again there is no one size fits all each family has its own dynamics.

 

I hid several answers as they were off topic and a bit on the wrong side of the forum rules. If JGF saw that well........ :1 (103):  :3_8_14[1]:

[mogo51]

That may or may not be the law, but as we will not be married as she is previously married and no annulment.

It's the law.  I have read it. It's some unclear concerning up to which living standard the support have to be.

 

The red market make you better know of an OTHER law. In Phils it's a crime to have a relation with a married woman even if she is long timed separated. But mostly the justice system don't bother about that law, otherwize they would need to change one of the BIG islands to a prison to get space for all :mocking:      BUT it make you vulnerable for anyone telling the police, if someone want to get rid of you  :bash:

I am aware of the law in that regard, but also aware that there would not be enough prisons to keep us all in.

It is a long bow you draw to try and defend the supporting of families, it is above the point in my view.

It still does not alter the fact that my position is clear and will not change. If you want to give freely,

feel free to do s.