Age Doesn't Matter... Really???

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I told my wife that my next wife has not been born yet ha ha... why does she hit me for no reason??  :tiphat:

[Gerald Glatt]

why does she hit me for no reason?? 

 

 

 

Thinks your a cradle robber,  nexr wife should be about 10 by now :dance:

[Ynot]

 

That 70/30 couple will probably have close friendships with lots of other like minded couples.  For them and their peers, all they will see in their circle of friends is good relationships where most couples have a similar age gap to them.  They will not even notice there is an age gap until someone brings it up to them. 

 

 

 

I think this is a great point and let me elaborate. About 30 years ago I married an African American woman. I was a bit nervous about the consequences back then. I had already had some reactions which were surprisingly similar to people's reactions regarding age gaps: "What will your family and friends think?"; "what about children", "what could you have in common", etc.

 

As young newlyweds we would walk around the neighborhood hand in hand - and guess what. Everywhere we went we saw other mixed couples. We'd pass by and nod in recognition. Why, I wondered, had I not previously noticed how many black-white couples there were in my town. It had just never occurred to me.

 

So, now I am married to a Filipina much younger than me. Guess what? We must know 50 Fil-Am couples in our town with age gaps. Granted, all the age gaps aren't as large as ours, but they are all significant by American standards. I also know a few American couples with 30 year gaps, Why hadn't I noticed this before? Because I had no reason to. Humans are drawn to like minded people and until I married my wife, Fil-Am couples and age gap couples weren't like me - so I didn't much notice them.

 

We just got back from a vacation to the Philippines and nearly every Filipina-foreigner couple we met had significant age differences, many greater than ours.

 

It's out there and it's always been out there. Sometimes we choose not to notice.

 

 

 

Very true what you say here.  Years ago this was not on my radar!  I did not notice the age gap because I was not interested, but having said that I'm not silly enough to not believe that others may see an age gap as an issue, and may jump to a number of conclusions as to why the young lady or man was with the older person.  And I'm sure some of their conclusions would be correct but not in all instances.  That is the issue with generalisations, not every square peg fits into a round hole! 

 

My first wife was 4 years older than me, my second wife was 15 years younger than me, my previous gf was 7 years younger than me, but my current gf is 31 years younger than me.  Did I worry about that, yes I did I wasn't comfortable with the age gap, and that upset my gf who is quite independent.  She never asks me for money, and she has had an opportunity to move on to someone far wealthier than me, that could provide for her now, and provide her a house now, but she is not interested because she wants me.  Thats sort of humbling because I can not offer her what the other person can, and she knows she must wait before I will be in a positon to do what I want to do.  As it stands we have been together now for 3 years and she knows now I will be retiring in 25 months time.  But before then, I will be holidaying in Cebu in September and then again in April 2016 for 2 months.  So it's not always the bloke who is the youngest or the richest that wins the heart!!! 

Edited May 20, 2015 by Dave Hounddriver
fix quote

[Methersgate]

 

 

That 70/30 couple will probably have close friendships with lots of other like minded couples.  For them and their peers, all they will see in their circle of friends is good relationships where most couples have a similar age gap to them.  They will not even notice there is an age gap until someone brings it up to them. 

 

 

 

I think this is a great point and let me elaborate. About 30 years ago I married an African American woman. I was a bit nervous about the consequences back then. I had already had some reactions which were surprisingly similar to people's reactions regarding age gaps: "What will your family and friends think?"; "what about children", "what could you have in common", etc.

 

As young newlyweds we would walk around the neighborhood hand in hand - and guess what. Everywhere we went we saw other mixed couples. We'd pass by and nod in recognition. Why, I wondered, had I not previously noticed how many black-white couples there were in my town. It had just never occurred to me.

 

So, now I am married to a Filipina much younger than me. Guess what? We must know 50 Fil-Am couples in our town with age gaps. Granted, all the age gaps aren't as large as ours, but they are all significant by American standards. I also know a few American couples with 30 year gaps, Why hadn't I noticed this before? Because I had no reason to. Humans are drawn to like minded people and until I married my wife, Fil-Am couples and age gap couples weren't like me - so I didn't much notice them.

 

We just got back from a vacation to the Philippines and nearly every Filipina-foreigner couple we met had significant age differences, many greater than ours.

 

It's out there and it's always been out there. Sometimes we choose not to notice.

 

Very true what you say here.  Years ago this was not on my radar!  I did not notice the age gap because I was not interested, but having said that I'm not silly enough to not believe that others may see an age gap as an issue, and may jump to a number of conclusions as to why the young lady or man was with the older person.  And I'm sure some of their conclusions would be correct but not in all instances.  That is the issue with generalisations, not every square peg fits into a round hole! 

 

My first wife was 4 years older than me, my second wife was 15 years younger than me, my previous gf was 7 years younger than me, but my current gf is 31 years younger than me.  Did I worry about that, yes I did I wasn't comfortable with the age gap, and that upset my gf who is quite independent.  She never asks me for money, and she has had an opportunity to move on to someone far wealthier than me, that could provide for her now, and provide her a house now, but she is not interested because she wants me.  Thats sort of humbling because I can not offer her what the other person can, and she knows she must wait before I will be in a positon to do what I want to do.  As it stands we have been together now for 3 years and she knows now I will be retiring in 25 months time.  But before then, I will be holidaying in Cebu in September and then again in April 2016 for 2 months.  So it's not always the bloke who is the youngest or the richest that wins the heart!!! 

 

What an excellent post!

 

Yes, the age gap matters but a lot of it is in the hands of the man. Make an effort - in the gym, at the dinner table and try to take a real interest in what she likes. 

Should add: 32 years. I said when we first met "What a pity I am too old for you - we could never be seen in public together!" She said " Why not try it?"

Edited May 20, 2015 by Methersgate

[Curley]

I remember when I was late fifties, fit and trim taking a 23 year old to Boracay. A few looks but nothing out of the ordinary till we met an aunt of a friend's wife who said it was such a shame that my girl choose an old man!

 

For many years I thought I would retire to Asia and find myself a nice young wife but could not tolerate the lack of knowledge and lack of decent conversation. I discovered Colombia and retired here instead, met a wonderful, intelligent "older" woman who has a very good job, never been married, only ever had 3 boyfriends, adopted a little girl from a wayward sister. I'm just turned 68 she's 46 but with the slim, flat stomached body of a 20 year old and a young face. she and the little girl are moving in to my place in the middle of June. It's going to be hard to learn to live with a child but I think I can become a good parent with Francisca's help. We're currently extending/remodelling my house that we will live in and it is incredible how our tastes match on just about everything. On my recent birthday I again questioned her about the age difference and she said that with my fitness and endurance I will probably outlive her lol. She also said look at Celine Dion and her husband!

 

Am I happy? Is she happy? Ecstatic!

 

 

When she overheard a mutual friend warning me of the danger of losing part of my "wealth" after a couple of years, Francisca immediately offered to sign a prenup.

Edited May 20, 2015 by Curley

[davewe]

In my case I had a little "age gap" experience before I discovered the Philippines. Post divorce I tried the modern route and joined Match.com. I calculated that I had 75 1st coffee dates with women approx. my age, less than 20 2nd dates, and just a handful of 3rd dates - I was getting nowhere, but I was drinking a lot of coffee :)

 

On a lark I contacted a woman 20 years my junior; blonde will full sleeve tattoos. We quickly became great friends and then more. I was shocked and delighted - but also guilty. Surely there must be something wrong with me, I reasoned; I got nowhere with women my own age, but the young hottie liked me. It became her job to consistently remind me that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was not too old for her; an unfair job for her to be sure. It took a year but I finally came to the conclusion that: yes, I did like younger women, yes some younger women did like me; and yes it was OK! At that point I stumbled upon the Philippines and as they said - the rest is history.

 

Today the blonde and I are still friends and she has gone on to marry. She good naturedly gives me grief over my younger wife and I blame her for starting me along that path.

[Dave Hounddriver]

On this topic, I have 3 expat friends (or acquaintances) who live here on a small budget and are having some major financial problems   They each have filipina wives who are within 20 years of their age and in their cases the wives have very expensive medical problems.  Each of them are depending on the charity of friends and other expats to see them through this rough time.  This seldom happens with a young wife.

 

Sometimes age matters.

[Vince Runza]

I had my own experience with the age gap here, in the USA, back in the '80's. I saw this Filipino cover band at a local club, with a fantastic girl singer. I took some available light photos of them performing, and passed along some prints to the guys. Next thing I know, I'm gettting pointed suggestions to get to know the girl singer. I was in my mid-30's at the time. Turns out she's 17, and in high-school!

 

Now, for me, that was too much of an age gap, at the time. I'm older, wiser, and more comfortable dealing with women of any age. Here's the thing: only you can know your comfort level. I don't believe you should push yourself out of your comfort zone, just because you can have a 'shapely adorable' who's 'underripe'. Think about what level of maturity, intellect, and stability you need in a woman. The last thing you may want may be a girl with the attention span of a monkey on crack, and a wandering eye...

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Back in Texas some ladies at my temple tried to play matchmaker.  I was mid 30's, the girl they suggested was 17.   (17 is legal in TX).  I was not comfortable with the age gap (she was after in the same school as my kids ha ha).   But looking at her next 2 relationships and how screwed up her life became... it would have better for her if I did marry her...  Live and learn.  :tiphat:

 

 

~edit~  unknown to me at the time, but my current wife was only 10 years old that year  ha ha

Edited May 21, 2015 by Tukaram (Tim)

[Vince Runza]

...it would have better for her if I did marry her...  Live and learn.  :tiphat: ~edit~  unknown to me at the time, but my current wife was only 10 years old that year  ha ha

Hey, it's not your job to fix other people! OTOH, you've learned the value of robbing the cradle. :dance: