Are We Truly Serious With The Relationship Advice We Give?

[i am bob]

I am really wondering about a lot of the answers that were given on here regarding a recent thread along with several others in the past...    Dump her, run away as fast as you can, move to Hawaii...  Ok, maybe moving to Hawaii is a little extreme, don't you think?  But I also think that many of these replies were a little (as in overly) extreme!  Is this what our members really think or are they just following a trend of not trusting?

 

OK, experiment time!!!  Let's find out if you really believe your answers...  Put yourself into this situation...  NOT objectively but as if you really truly are going through this in your life...   

 

You and your significant other have met (doesn't matter how or where), had a great romance and now you are together in love and life...  Of course, like all relationships, you have a couple flags that pop up in the beginning but they smooth themselves out and you have never been so happy in your life!  Your significant other is amazing!!!  BUT one night, as you and your significant other are out for a romantic evening, a former boyfriend shows up!  (This may sound familiar...)  A lot of yelling and screaming from both sides that you can't understand...  Seems the slightly intoxicated ex-bf wants her back and she's telling him to get lost!  She wants nothing to do with him!  He finally leaves...

 

Now ask yourself:

 

If this was you and your wife / girlfriend and this situation actually happened to you, do you trust your SO that the old relationship is truly over?  Has she been lying to you?  Is the ex_BF a danger to you?  Would you walk out of this situation and leave your SO?  

 

Second part of the experiment!  For those who answered YES, show your Significant Better Half this thread, all the posts given and then tell her your your answer to the the above and why.  How many had wives / girlfriends have run crying from the room?  Slap your face?  How many of you experienced a tirade of screaming in a language you don't understand?  How many of you are now single?  How many of you got a kiss on the cheek and were told "Good for you, sweetie!"?

 

Before anybody goes and tries to do any of this, STOP!!!  I only put this out there so people would think about what would happen if somebody should follow the given advice..  But the real question behind all of this is...

 

How many of us now would like to change the advice we have given?

 

(It's 6 am and the first coffee is still working it's way to my brain...  I may come back and edit this a bit later so it's a little more coherent - or a lot more....  But first - another coffee!!!)

Edited May 21, 2015 by i am bob
not quite awake

[virginprune]

In any given situation it is up to the individual to assert what they perceive to be the best course of action.

It is always good for any form of advice but really only to raise awareness of possible unrealised potentials.

[i am bob]

In any given situation it is up to the individual to assert what they perceive to be the best course of action.

It is always good for any form of advice but really only to raise awareness of possible unrealised potentials.

 

Very true!  But, as you can see by reading past posts, many offer the advice of leaving without knowing the full story...  In their own particular lives, would they follow that advice?  Would they be wrong in their actions?   And what would their significant other think about them if they followed through?  If someone in the forum asked for advice and all they received was the reply of "Run", do you think that would influence their decision?  Would it be the right decision?  We may just ruin someone's chance for "eternal happiness" with somebody special by offering the wrong advice.  All because we didn't know all the facts...  Or perhaps it's become the canned response...  Who knows?  I just thought it best if we thought about what we respond and why...

[Gerald Glatt]

:unsure: ​Just my opinion, How would a person who is unknown to you, knows nothing of your situation (except the truth as you see it),  whose psychological education (if any) says 101, give good advice? 

 

:hystery: I take such questions as an exercise, or comic relief.  If I had a serious option I would send a private message to that person.

 

:boohoo: This is much more responsibility than I need as peoples lives and happiness may be involved

 

:3_8_14[1]: Just saying    

[scott h]

Is this what our members really think

 

Yes Bob,  I think they are, based on THEIR experiences and observations. We must remember that under the rules put in place benevolent dictatorship (a little butt kissing there :tiphat: ) folks are able to offer opinions and advice as long as they keep with in the rules. It would be a very boring forum if everyone agreed with each other.

 

Now as to the quality of advice and opinions, well we all know what opinions are like,,,,,,,and how much the OP you are referring to paid for any advice given :hystery: so he or anyone is free to take or ignore any or all of it.

 

just following a trend of not trusting

 

As to the above, in some cases it is understandable due to a) age differences b) rich guy (you must admit we are all perceived as rich) hooking up with a girl from poor family c) the man's good or bad experience in the past. Add to this, rightly or wrongly, Filipinas do have a bad rep world wide. Remember before Yahoo shut down the chat rooms? A person could barely log into a local chat room with out getting the ole "ASL?" "you have cam?" "you married?". I was born and raised in a Navy town (San Diego CA) where there is a HUGE Filipino population. Add to that all the Navy wives. This is where the term "WestPack" widow comes from. The saying goes is that when the fleet pulled out of port you would hear the wedding rings hitting the floor up in Los Angeles :999: . There is actually one bar near the docks called The Trophy Lounge that was infamous for Filipina wives on the prowl (you can actually see reviews online lololol).

 

Anyway, just my 2 centavos is that from what I have observed of our members in the forum, all of us have been around the block enough times to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff when opinions or advice are given.

 

:cheersty:

[Gratefuled]

Well, here is what I think. 

If someone has a personal problem and they come here for advice that is what he/she will get. Take it with a grain of salt. No one knows the person and the problem like the one asking.

Speaking for myself. I would not ask another how to solve a problem of mine.

If asked, I would give my personal opinion not from experience but from my own judgement of the situation from the information given.

The asker has the option to weigh all responses and decide which action to take if any.

Most people are not qualified to give accurate solutions but just respond with an opinion. 

[Old55]

Edited May 22, 2015 by Old55

[i am bob]

 

If asked, I would give my personal opinion not from experience but from my own judgement of the situation from the information given.

 

 

 

Is this what our members really think

 

Yes Bob,  I think they are, based on THEIR experiences and observations. 

 

 

Great responses!  But a question still comes out...  Should YOU (the member reading this) ever find yourself in this situation in your CURRENT relationship, would you still follow the same advice you would give others?  What would your wife / gf think of your response to this quesiton?

[Dave Hounddriver]

Should YOU (the member reading this) ever find yourself in this situation in your CURRENT relationship, would you still follow the same advice you would give others?

 

Yes.  Been there done that.  Lots of times.  Lots of relationships.  But then, the advice I give to others who have had only one relationship (that they speak of) is not taken so that's their business.  But giving relationship advice to others when one only has one experience to judge by seems silly to me.  Unless that relationship truly is perfect and so that person wants to give everyone else advice on how to find a perfect one for themselves.

 

But this is truly food for thought.  One of these days the forum needs to have a get together in Davao so we can all meet up and discuss the meaning of life and relationships.  Have you got time to organize such an event Bob?  If the timing was right I'd take a flight there.  I have not yet been to Davao so it would be great to come meet up with all you southern boys.

[scott h]

find yourself in this situation in your CURRENT relationship, would you still follow the same advice you would give others?

 

I (like most other semi-intelligent folks that seem to inhabit this forum) would collect all the opinions and advice, throw it all in a bag, shake well, and most likely take a bit from each suggestion and find a solution to my problem that is probably right down the middle.